The Times Between 75.
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My parents have, like, a 13 year age gap & their marriage is the most stable in our family over time. There’s a lot of factors to take into account with relationships.
I guess I’ll remind everyone that if you want to support the comic there are links above, but clearly the economy is hitting you all very hard. It’s been the roughest month since I started the patreon and my guess is the cost of living is the biggest cause of that. I’ll get by until things sort themselves out. I won’t like it, but I will. I’ve already survived one economic catastrophe so another one will just be par for the course at this point. If you want to, and you have the means, I would appreciate the support. If you can’t, but you want to, I’ll be here when things change, so enjoy the comic. I hope it helps.
My Nephew is visiting on Thursday so it may disrupt the upload a little bit, but something will be here Friday regardless. See you then.
26 Comments
Been there done that.
My parents were 15 years apart when they got married in Ukraine. It’s not uncommon for these types of age differences to exist.
It really does fall down to consent and being of sound and mature mind to make it.
It is somewhat eerie that this is the topic, as I have recently become involved with someone significantly younger than me. The age gap (19 yrs) has been a point of contention because I never wanted to be a ‘that guy’. But I’ve been encouraged to pursue it, not just by the young lady in question, but by my entire support structure, who have told me my hangups on dating someone younger are moronic. So, I’m giving it a shot. I just think that the fact that this issue I’ve been having recently is suddenly addressed on a webcomic I routinely keep track of was very coincidental timing.
I’m an agent of fate. My mission on this earth is to be a conduit for understanding.
Well you have my appreciation. I also feel I should mention the young lady in question is 20 and I’m 39, before anyone thinks I’m trolling a playground.
By the by, I discovered your comic several years back, and it has been an absolute joy to read. Checking the newest entries is part of my morning routine, something I look forward to as I dredge my sanity through public service. Your characters and stories bring much amusement and levity, and I hope you can continue for a long time to come. Thank you.
I’m glad you enjoy my work, thank you for reading.
Wonder why she brought the question up? Could perchance she have an eye on someone that’s got some years on her?
That would be a new character, which would be nice to see. I quite enjoyed her sibling interaction with Reggie over Alex (“You’re blushing! You really do like her. Your involuntary reactions are the only ones I can trust.), and meeting John and Brooksie.
I do ship her with John, but I’m not sure if there is much of an age gap there. There interactions seemed to fit for a couple, plus I’m sure it would annoy Reggie. I can see him dreading the possibility of being related to John.
My parents had a 17 year age gap. My dad’s first wife had passed away and my mom’s first husband cheated on her and they divorced. Growing up, it felt weird when I thought about that age gap, but now, I’m now definitely leaning into Alex’s camp.
As someone with a 15 year age gap with my girlfriend who feels judged for it sometimes, I felt very seen here. Thank you.
My age gap for dating reached 12 years (nearly 13) at its greatest. For my marriage, it was 9 years.
Both of these were “upside down”, if you will.
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Also, I’m gonna figure the age of consent in KS is 18, for storytelling purposes. I know it varies but that’s an odd thing to know unless you’re a local, or you are a professional, like Spousal Ms ValdVin, who was a social worker.
It’s actually 16 with parental consent, but functionally 18 in actual practice.
I don’t like being pedantic, but- Instead of other types of – age of consent, the a. o. consent being discussed here, is: [the legal age, where you can give your consent to be married].
My wife is 10 years older than me.31 years later it is still working, so I guess there is something there. I suspect that I needed someone with a little more maturity to make it work. I think my family was just relieved that I found someone who would have me and who wasn’t just the least bit weird or unstable. My biggest problem with an age gap relationship is that if one person is in their teens, five years later they may be a very different person from the one they were when the relationship started. I’ve seen it happen and it was a marriage breaker.
Yes, so what matters really isn’t so much the absolute but relative difference. 15 and 30 would be iffy for me, 30 and 45 not iffy at all. I think my grandparents were 24 and 34 when they married, and stayed together until the end.
I just turned 43 this year and am in no relationship nor have ever been in a relationship. Although I am very worried by the thought that if a woman very much my junior came into my life, I wouldn’t help but feel very uncomfortable extremely concerned in terms of the law. However I can agree (to an extent) that if both parties are in full support of one-another then there isn’t really an issue. Unless it’s one of those polygamy sects hence to an extent. Then that’s a big problem.
The only time it’s ever worried me was a couple that were my little sister’s friend’s parents. She was like 32, he was 86. That seemed super creepy, but I don’t know if it would bother me now since we haven’t seen them in many years and I don’t like to guess how I will react to situations. Also, yours is now the only comic that I read, so if anyone has any suggestions for webcomics that aren’t constantly abandoned for months, I would love to hear them. And thank you Jackie for updating your comic on the regular!
The key phrase that gets somewhat glossed over is “no power imbalance”
Eh, that’s actually the problem, to me, this whole “power imbalance” concern. I get the logic, superficially; even if we exclude clearly illegal situations of rape, blackmail, stuff like that, I can understand the idea of an “undue influence”, perhaps even one that was not intended by whichever party is “more powerful”, that could affect people’s decision making. However, when you start really trying to analyze it, you realize it’s so broad and vague that practically no relationships are perfectly balanced. Heck, what if you just have a weak personality? You could be ripped, rich, connected, whatever, and still be bullied and badgered into a relationship you don’t want, while everyone judges YOU for using YOUR “power” to “force” a relationship with your abuser. It’s just a sloppy standard that ends up being used in a cherry-picking fashion; if people don’t like this, that, or the other thing, in a relationship, this is their justification for shutting it down, conveniently ignoring the million other cases where it’s just as applicable. An age of consent is necessary, even if we acknowledge it’s not reality to think every single person becomes capable of intelligent, mature decision making at a specific age, because there has to be SOME way to protect kids, and in certain other situations like the mentally handicapped. But these sorts of “soft”, emotion-based ruled just ruin people’s lives and deny them happiness, all in the name of being excessively cautious.
That’s my take, anyway. We should err on the side of “It’s fine if they are both adults and of sound mind” unless some very clear and specific reason is present to warrant a different outlook.
High school really did a number on me when it comes to age gaps. The frosh girl-senior boy thing is real, and really creepy.
Yeah, that circles back around to that age of consent thing. If not in a legal sense then in a practical one. They might both be legally minors but at that age the 3-4 year age gap makes a big difference. My experience is that those relationships usually run their course pretty quickly. It can be problematic though, especially if there is a predatory aspect to the older partner. I do know of one family where the 18 year old guy ended up as a registered sex offender because the father of the underage (16yo) girlfriend accused him of statutory rape. This was before some of the Romeo and Juliet laws were passed.
I know a country where the age of consent is 14. A 14yo and 44yo, no matter how legal, is creepy for me.
Gotta follow the rule… half your age + 7,anything younger feels weird.. outside or inside the relationship.
To begin, I am quite old. My father was born in 1906 and my mother 1920 a 14 year gap. I aged out of relationships in my 50s. I have been in one with a 19 year age gap and one with a 25 year gap. In spite of me always being the elder I was never steering the ship so to speak. Happily along for the ride though right up to the end which of course not my choice either. Also happy to now be living alone. Perhaps that is the lesson I was meant to learn. ~ulrich
My brother in law was 20 years older than my sister. She’s 22 years older than me. I have a niece in her 70s. Really enjoy introducing her as “my little niece”.