I’m going to the doctor tomorrow, today if you’re reading this on Friday, for my 6 month “does he still need all his pills & c-pap” visit. Generally going to the doctor doesn’t bother me unless I have to fast. It’s not even the fasting that bothers me. I can easily go an entire day or more with nothing but water & just get a little irritable. What bothers me is having to think about not eating. Once you make it a command it gets in my head & then that’s all I can think about. It really irritates me.
It’s kind of like never needing to pee unless I’m going somewhere. Once I have access to a bathroom removed then it’s all I can think about, whereas usually I will go nearly the entire day without ever giving it a thought. It’s a million times worse with covid because now you can’t even just nip into a McDonalds or wherever. Everything is closed. Except for fucking Walmart where there’s a million goddamn people just not observing any of the “rules”. I don’t like people walking close to me when there’s not a potentially deadly threat to my life & it wasn’t a problem when there wasn’t one. People just kind of stayed away from me, but now people are always walking RIGHT UP ON ME. I haven’t had anyone brush right up on me for years, until after the fucking disease came around. What the fuck, I mean really? This wasn’t a problem before!
Anyway, tomorrow is going to be all irritating. I addition to whatever new bullshit the internet & government cook up. I’m kind of surprised we haven’t had any spree killings because I’m a pretty timid monkey & I’m on my last fucking nerve out here. I can’t imagine what someone on a hair trigger is doing to keep things level. Spousal abuse if the reports are to be believed, I guess.
What a mess. I just want to play some Animal Crossing & Minecraft Dungeons. Just ease up so I can have, like, 5 hours of uninterrupted peace, world.