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My take on one of Jackie’s title ideas:

“HALFLING CASSANOVA!

He’s not a bad lover, by half!”

(Hee, hee, hee!) :D

Lincoln, you poor innocent fool. Furry isn’t a genre, it’s also a demographic, and a very prolific one at that.

If Rainfurrest is anything to go by, furries are the dregs of society.

I’m fairness, society is mostly dregs.

Sad, but true.

I’m writing this [off the cuff], after a too-hot day, with lots of hay-fever-like allergies, so I’m not at my best, but-

Even one of my best friends, one of the most kind, + lovable, + thoughtful, + gentle people I know- told me of an event in his college days.

Just for fun- he + some of his friends overpowered a house-mate of theirs, + tied him to a tree, on a college campus. This event, tying someone to a tree, ended up with- the tied guy being found by violent strangers.
The story goes like this- the strangers attacked this guy, + this event could of ended up with someone dying.
My friend used to tell people this tale, “as a really, really, funny story”. Dammit, but that doesn’t sit well with me.

I wish I had tried to correct my friend, + tell him his actions were very, very [bad].
I never had the chance.
My friend died of unknown, medical problems, around 2001.
Sometimes I feel very ashamed, when I find out that some of my family and friends, have done some really, really, hideous things.

If someone finds out, what makes some people do horrible and thoughtless things like this, please let me know…

Rainfurrest was an unfortunately public anomaly.

That’s why it disappeared… because the rest of the furries refused to put up with that crap anymore.

All I know is that the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition in the Office of Nuclear Energy must be part of such a thing. (Plus, nuclear waste = atomic power = superheroes.)

I had a girlfriend once that theorised that my “type” was “stocky brunettes”, as she was, when they weren’t so much my type as the only ones to find *me* attractive.

Sir Terry Pratchett had a dwarf character who styled himself as a famous lover, named Casanunda. He was always swanning around in fancy silks, with a folded stepladder under his arm for “access.” His business card read “Casanunda, World’s 2nd Greatest Lover, fine swordsman, outrageous liar, soldier of fortune, stepladders repaired. WE NEVER SLEEP.”

That’s fun! :)
Why did he call himself, “the 2nd greatest lover”, + not the 1st greatest?

Think about it. If he called himself the greatest in the world, wouldn’t that encourage more scrutiny? By calling himself the 2nd greatest instead, it redirects that scrutiny elsewhere while still talking himself up to a ludicrous degree. It’s flawless bluffing strategy!

That works. :)

But sometimes, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, + want the best that’s available.
If I met, “the 2nd greatest”, I’d probably as him: “So, who’s the 1st greatest? Can you give me the address of the 1st greatest?”
;)

The world’s greatest lover might just be in a committed, faithful monogamy. Isn’t fidelity on of the important characteristics of a lover?

“Isn’t fidelity on of the important characteristics of a lover?”

You bet. :)
At least I highly value fidelity. :)

However, I think- if a guy or person advertises on his cards, that he’s the world’s 1st or 2nd greatest lover, I think that kind of threatens the fidelity part of things.

Such as- if he writes, “I’m The World’s Greatest Boxer”, on his business cards, that [probably] would make people want to try him out.
Hm. :D

Reminds me of the incredibly ugly, narcissistic character in the Sweet Chastity comic that ran in Penthouse magazine way back when. I forget his name, but he thought he was the most beautiful man in the world.

Not every category for sorting or searching for stories has to be “genre”. There are tone, aesthetics, amount and color of body hair…

WHY GIRLFRIEND OGRE-CHAN BREAK ALL PUNY BOYFRIENDS?

Well…it might help if you’d stop eating them.

THAT NOT EATING. GIRLFRIEND OGRE-CHAN MERELY ENTHUSIASTIC KISSER.

> Honestly, I would love to try and write every single fake title on this page into an actual comic.

One page counts!

“Honestly, I would love to try and write every single fake title on this page into an actual comic.”

Intriguing.

How can we best help this become a reality?

I have a similar fascination with old porn movie titles: “Yank My Doodle, It’s A Dandy”, “Little Anal Annie”, “Butt Darts”… it’s a cornucopia of absurdity.

Some of those titles sound like things I’ve read:
GF Ogre = ‘Oversized Sextet’
Amazon and Healer = ‘Treating a Female Knight who has Never Been Treated as a Woman as a Woman’
(Or possibly ‘E-Rank Healer’)
Halfling Casanova… I’m sure there’s something, but nothing comes to mind immediately…

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