486 Dickcraft.

by

Since I’ve been having to make pages over the course of a few days recently I’ve had moments when I’ve deceived myself into thinking I’m skilled enough to get fancy with them.  This page is representative of these delusions. 

I had a sudden memory of something that happened when I was a kid.  I was on a school trip and I saw Adam Sandler do his Halloween costume bit for the first time.  This would have been within a couple of days, before or after, of Curt Cobane dying.  Assuming my memory is correct.  I laughed really hard, and one of the girls was taken aback by it.  Someone asked why she reacted that way and she said she’d never seen me laugh honestly before.  Her answer surprised me because I’d never thought about it.  I just acted how I acted. 

I remember very little else about that trip.  I can barely remember the faces of the kids who went with me, let alone their names; but I remember that moment when the whole room was briefly focused on me.  To this day I avoid direct eye contact with anyone outside my circle, but I remember looking that girl right in the eyes. 

Most of my memories are presented in a dreamlike, third person, imagining for some reason, but that moment I remember experiencing inside my own head.  I wonder why.

26 Comments

You are not alone in this…weird way of remembering. Although mine turn out fuzzier, it always seems I’m watching someone else take part in one of my memories.

Ample is an understatement, curvaceous-ly hot would describe it.

…she is way too excited when she talks about dick craft. Also hat is how I am officially reffering about sex from now on.it is no longer sex, but dick craft and I will be the bob vila of it, a master dickcraftsman if you will.

You and your memoirs, remind me of an epic story being told by someone who is remembering it as you go on. I’m seriously expecting you do remember one day like “I remember waking up in a lab. There were white coats everywhere. They kept mentioning something about a project…”

“I’m fairly… ample.”

This is my favorite line from Carol now. Maybe my favorite line of the comic.

If I was not already a Carol fan, and just some newbie coming to this comic, I would’ve fallen for her in a heartbeat. As it is, this is the icing on the cake, I like me some cake. Being around 6’2″ or so and weighing around 265, I’ve got some girth myself. She’s right though, only fat people can easily make fun of fat people without drawing some wrath. Jon Pinette, Louie Anderson, and the rest, lots of laughs.

Meh. Forbiddance is as good as a dare to me.
If someone’s rotund bulk is causing me personal inconvenience (e.g. displacing me on cramped public transport or whatever)… I’ll call them out on it. I don’t care whether they can help it or not. I don’t care if they’re sensitive or not. They can’t just come along and make their problem into my problem without retaliation.
Other than that though… if they’re not bothering me (the precise limits of that can be broad), I ain’t gonna say a thing about it.

I’m 6′ even and when I’ve forgotten to eat right and get enough exercise for enough weeks consecutively my weight dips below 150, or even 140. I make fun of us all by saying, “Damnit, standing next to you I look like a damn skeleton with a bit of skin stretched over it,” to which the right and fully cued response is supposed to be, “Aren’t you?”
That leads to, “Stop making fun of my weight!” and much amusement for all.

I’m six-foot-four, and I weigh one-thirty. So yeah, a woman of Carol’s Size would be… suicide. AWESOME suicide, but suicide. …But awesome suicide.

I have had daily experiences like that, I dont talk much so when someone outside my circle hears me laugh or curse even they are really surprised. I alwsys give them the look of “are you serious?” because its always surprising how ppl see me

After reading this, I could swear that I almost passed out, i laughed so hard. A thing that goes with this is a while back in school, I was talking with my buddies about this mean girl at our school, and we were all just ragging on her, and then, she walked up behind us and heard what we were talking bout! That was scary, cuz i could actually see the veins in her neck pulsing, she was so angry. Then, just cuz i couldn’t resist the urge to say it when she asked us why we were saying all that stuff about her, I said “We’re seeing if we have enough evidence that the court should burn you at the stake for bitchcraft.” Speaking of which, she slaps REALLY hard.T_T But that awesome line made it worth it. (plus the fact she got detention, but I did too after they heard her side of the story) :-)

of course, carol herself is protected by the rule you NEVER, NEVER make fun of a women’s weight, so no reciprocal teasing from mike, not that he would dare anyways.

Her face in that second to last panel bodyshot kinda reminds me of Haruhara Haruko from FLCL.

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