As I’ve said before, I’m very suggestible. Words have a strong effect on me. Alex’s vocab lesson is like catnip to me. I don’t really need to labor the point because it’s been made on the page and in the blog more than once really, & my heart isn’t in it tonight.
For those of you who get offended when I talk about my actual life please feel free to stop reading now. I’ve given you warning, so if you continue that’s on you.
My Grandmother died today. She fell a couple of days ago, but I didn’t mention it on socials. Not that it would matter since they are basically cut off from the page at this point, but still. She ruptured a kidney and it was removed. Today they were going to open her back up and see what could be done to fix things, if anything at all. When they did they found that her intestines had died, for lack of a more accurate description. Her body was inexorably failing. I’m not sure of all the details at this point, but my mother quickly drove the 4 hours to her location, with my grandfather, to be with her at the end. They did manage to arrive before she passed. She couldn’t speak, but apparently she was aware of things.
Mom put me on the phone with her so I could tell her I love her & that as the best grandchild I was the only one really worth speaking to. Seeing as this was the last time she was going to hear me I felt like I should leave her laughing. I already know she loves me. There wasn’t a need to say much else. I wouldn’t’ve been able to keep it together for any longer anyway.
And that was it. That’s how I parted from the woman who was my second mother for my entire life up to this point. It wasn’t enough, but it seemed correct to remain true to our relationship.
It would take a lot of words to tell you all the stories of everything she was. Not just to me but as a person. Maybe someday I will tell some of them. A certain amount of her lives on in me and by extension the work that you presumably enjoy. Even though you never knew her she had an effect on your life. I hope whatever part of her came to you through me was worthwhile and helped you in some way.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few days, weeks, or months. I expect I’ll become grandpa’s caretaker for awhile. My intention is to just keep producing the comic as normal without interruption. If that changes at some point I’ll let you know. I feel like I can cope and get things done. We’ll find out if I actually can together.
Anyway, you should become a patron because my grandma never got to see me become super successful the way I was supposed to, but maybe her “special angel” can still make her proud of me from beyond the grave. I intend to keep trying anyway.