2391 Rubenesque.

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As I’ve said before, I’m very suggestible. Words have a strong effect on me. Alex’s vocab lesson is like catnip to me. I don’t really need to labor the point because it’s been made on the page and in the blog more than once really, & my heart isn’t in it tonight.

For those of you who get offended when I talk about my actual life please feel free to stop reading now. I’ve given you warning, so if you continue that’s on you.

My Grandmother died today. She fell a couple of days ago, but I didn’t mention it on socials. Not that it would matter since they are basically cut off from the page at this point, but still. She ruptured a kidney and it was removed. Today they were going to open her back up and see what could be done to fix things, if anything at all. When they did they found that her intestines had died, for lack of a more accurate description. Her body was inexorably failing. I’m not sure of all the details at this point, but my mother quickly drove the 4 hours to her location, with my grandfather, to be with her at the end. They did manage to arrive before she passed. She couldn’t speak, but apparently she was aware of things.
Mom put me on the phone with her so I could tell her I love her & that as the best grandchild I was the only one really worth speaking to. Seeing as this was the last time she was going to hear me I felt like I should leave her laughing. I already know she loves me. There wasn’t a need to say much else. I wouldn’t’ve been able to keep it together for any longer anyway.
And that was it. That’s how I parted from the woman who was my second mother for my entire life up to this point. It wasn’t enough, but it seemed correct to remain true to our relationship.
It would take a lot of words to tell you all the stories of everything she was. Not just to me but as a person. Maybe someday I will tell some of them. A certain amount of her lives on in me and by extension the work that you presumably enjoy. Even though you never knew her she had an effect on your life. I hope whatever part of her came to you through me was worthwhile and helped you in some way.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few days, weeks, or months. I expect I’ll become grandpa’s caretaker for awhile. My intention is to just keep producing the comic as normal without interruption. If that changes at some point I’ll let you know. I feel like I can cope and get things done. We’ll find out if I actually can together.

Anyway, you should become a patron because my grandma never got to see me become super successful the way I was supposed to, but maybe her “special angel” can still make her proud of me from beyond the grave. I intend to keep trying anyway.

44 Comments

I’m sorry for your loss, Jackie. My mother died a few months before the pandemic started up and I’m still working through the grief today. We never truly forget the people who loved us, even in deep dementia, because they live on in the people we affect in turn. Thank you for your time with us. I know it has affected me deeply and helped mold me into a better person. Take care

My wife I lived with for forty years died the summer before the pandemic. I still miss her. I think of her every day. I’m still in love with her.

In fact, I’m still in love with my first wife too, who died about fifty years ago.
My second wife found this a bit of a problem at first, but after a while she realised there was no competition.

Love lasts.

Take care of yourself.

My heartfelt condolences Jackie. I wish you and your family strength, love and lot’s of fond happy memories of your grandmother.

I’m really sorry too hear about your loss, Jackie.
It sounds like she is a very special, + loving person.
For me, + I think for lots of other people too, I’ve always admired you, and your comic, and your comic’s stories. They mean a lot to us.
Best Wishes.

My condolences Jackie, losing my grandmother was devastating, so I can only imagine the pain you are going through. I’m happy you got a chance to bring a smile to her face though.

All I can do is wish you and your family the best.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Losing family that is important to you is never easy. The best you can do is pass on their lessons and stories to the next generation. Since you have this website that is a good place to start.

Regarding word usage George Carlin always seemed to sum it up best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o25I2fzFGoY

My heart goes out to you, you and your work are loved. Take care of yourself however you deem fit, and know we are here in some small way.

My mother-in-law passed just eight days ago from Alzheimer’s and, unlike my actual mother, she was a great combination of maternal caring with the ability to make you feel like you were special in her eyes through tiny caring gestures. Her illness slowing eroded who she was until there was nothing there. So, in a way we lost her years ago, and yet didn’t. Her daughter, my wife, stopped visiting almost 4 years ago as there was nothing of her mom left. I was the last family member to visit along with her husband just 2 years back when she could just barely speak. I am happy to hear you were able to talk to your grandmother and I send condolences too.

I feel for you, Jackie. It’s never enough, but I’m glad you got a chance to have one more talk with her.

I’ve also been a caretaker for a grandfather. It was a rough time, but looking back, I’d do it all ober again given the choice.

Wishing you comfort and peace, Jackie. It’s good that you got to be with her on the phone at least. I was present at my one grandmother’s death, and my mother’s. The moment will stay with you.

Lost my grandmother two years ago this March. It’s a tough thing to go through. Though you seem to be doing all right, anyway, complete with a plan. So that’s a definite plus!

And I could object to several of the terms she uses, but she can certainly use them herself. In fact, she’s got a justification for most of them.

…at least, from a certain point of view. Though I’ve been assured that’s “mostly lying.” :D

If a loved one can’t respond, they can still hear. So I know that your grandma heard your words and felt your love before she passed. Still, that doesn’t remove the hurt you feel. Take care of yourself and your family.

I became an orphan at age 56 when my mother passed. I am almost 70 and it still gets to me. Be as kind to yourself as you can be Jackie. ~ulrich

I’m so sorry for your loss, Jackie. I think you did the goodbye the right way, for what it’s worth. My last words to my own grandmother were an “I love you” as I gave her a hug. I was lucky enough to be there to see her one last time. Before that, we had been joking a bit and talking as close to normal as possible, because laughing and joking is the way I know I’d want to go, too.

I tell you that to say, even though I cannot possibly understand completely, because we all live different lives, I have at least an idea of what you’re going through, and you aren’t alone.

Nothing I can say will make the pain go away, so I hope at the very least it made you smile, and the happy memories you share with your grandmother will help you deal with the pain moving forward. May her memory ever bring a smile to your face.

Sorry for your loss; my own grandmother died back in 2020 due to similar circumstances (In her case, she fell and needed surgery, then accidentally got infected with something during surgery and things spiraled downward from there), and now I only have one grandparent left. The loss of our grandparents is something we all must go through unless we face the even greater tragedy of dying before them. Just be happy for the great life she did have and the good she brought into the world.

Losing people close to you is never easy, and it doesn’t get any easier, either.

Sorry for your loss. May her memory stay bright in your mind and heart.

So sorry for your loss – I lost my father and two uncles over the last five years, and even if they were all in their eighties and had lived full and on the whole happy lives it’s still hard

Condolences on your loss, and I think that was a good choice for parting words and a fine tribute you’ve written here.

Ive been reading for several years now, and I’ve never commented. I just wanted you to know Jackie, that your comic brings me joy and happiness. I am deeply sorry for you loss and wish you and your family all the best through this time. One love my friend. Thank you for the years of enjoyment.

I’m sorry for your loss, it’s hard losing a parental figure, you’re never really prepared for it. I hope you and your family are able to heal and find closure with time. I hope your grandfather is doing well as well, I’m sure this is just as hard on him as it is you if not harder and hope you both can be the support you both need in this trying period. May your grandmother rest in peace and I hope her teachings and stories continue to live on in you.

My sincere condolences on your loss, Jackie. It is so difficult to say goodbye to a loved one for the last time, but I’m glad you got the opportunity to do so, and in a way that was special to the two of you. Be gentle and kind to yourself right now while you begin to process your grief. It never really goes away, but it does get better.

I don’t know that you’ll see this, but I’ve been reading about you taking care of your grandfather so that your family could help your grandmother. I know you wrote the filler because you didn’t want to leave us with nothing, and I know that you couldn’t be there with her when she passed.

I know that nothing you could ever do will ever be enough for that last moment with someone you love, but as a long time reader, I want to say something to you that I really mean.

I think you are probably a good man.

I can never know you from a few words at the end of the page, but I’ve heard you worry over the well being of others and put them first. Especially in the little ways that wouldn’t be worth it to fake.

I know you’ll consider that a low bar… But its one so few cross. Take care of yourself.

May her memory be a blessing. Sending you virtual hugs, handshakes, or gentle pats on the back, whichever you find comforting.

Oh wow, I’m not well read, so it feels like I’m missing out when having to look up what the words mean. I think it would be interesting if the comic were ever translated to another language to think about what words someone would use in place of these. Maybe some would end up as loanwords, like Rubenesque?

It’s a bit late, but you have my condolences, Jackie. I don’t have much to say besides that, but I’m just about caught up after rereading. I end up going back to reading webcomics like this one when I’m doing bad mentally. It’s been a fun distraction, thanks.

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