2348 Unresolved.

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It’s tough to rest with a knife in your back. Unless you want a forever nap. Human instinct, when stabbed by something, is to pull out the thing doing the stabbing. That’s not always the best course of action. Sometimes it’s better to leave the thing in the wound until someone arrives to help you. It hurts, but it’s not going to stop when you pull it out anyway. What will happen is that you’ll unplug the hole. You’ll bleed out more slowly from a plugged wound. Then again, what if you know no one is coming to save you? Maybe then it’s better to get on with your death & hope that whatever comes after is better than what preceded it. It has become clear to me that no help is going to arrive for me. So I’m left with a decision. Do I pull out the knife, & be done with it, or leave it in & maybe save myself? I guess I have enough blood to think about it for a while longer. Hopefully no one comes along and twists the knife while I’m thinking.
You are also presented with a choice. Will you support this comic via Patreon or Subscribestar? Knowing that the artists is laying around with a metaphorical, & metaphysical, knife in his back might sway your decision. Perhaps it was unwise of me to reveal this dilemma. Then again, maybe the outcome of this revelation with help me make my choice. Things are unresolved.

35 Comments

I’m unfortunately in a tough position right now, that doesn’t allow me to contribute to patreon as I’d like… I know we’ve never met or really interacted, But Crave, I’d just like to say I care about you and your wellbeing. Being part of your audience for so long now, I appreciate not only your work, but also your worldview, your unique perspectives and the thoughtfulness you put into everything you show us here (be it the comic or the posts).

Please be safe. If you can, please look for help to deal with whatever is going on. These are trying times for all of us, but I hope we can endure them and be able to get on with rebuilding our lives. If I can’t send you money right now, I can at least say there’s people out there concerned for you and hoping the situation – whatever it may be – is resolved for the better.

Third option. Stabilize it with duct tape so it won’t wriggle around too much then seek required help from neighbours and anyone you can can hail on a phone. Keep trying, be annoyingly persistent, and if the worst happens be at peace with yourself that you did everything you could at the time. But Do Not Not try. the ‘what ifs’ from That will be worse than anything else.

It sounds like you are really struggling. I would encourage you to call one of those suicide hotlines

Damn, pushed “post comment” before I was done.

Please call one of those suicide hotlines before you take out the knife in your back (which sounds like a metaphor for ending your life; if it’s not that, disregard).

Seek therapy. Don’t be to proud or ashamed to ask for help. Could it be the people in your life who might help you don’t know how much you’re hurting?

Woah, man, what’s going on over there? We Patreons will always be here to support your work, but if you are having those kind of thoughts, that is super sad, you know? You make a lot of people happy, chief, don’t talk about how no one is coming for you. We always here.

The Bible says that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

That doesn’t mean that everything that happens should be considered “good”. It means that even the worst crap is somehow — eventually — turned into something that was necessary to bring you into a good place.

Unfortunately there are two conditions placed on this [dubious] blessing: one must love God (Deuteronomy 6:5, Mark 12:30) and obey Him (John 14:23-24). Outside of that, you’re on your own. Maybe the duct tape thing, or have a compress bandage ready for when the knife comes out? Personally, I’ve found that the benefits of being an adopted child of the Great Healer is far greater than any detriments.

Everything leads to your own good? I call bullshit, sounds like a Christan’s excuse for the randomness of the universe.

“ItS GoD’s WiLl” hard pass, If God wanted me to be obedient, they need to prove themselves to me besides rapist clergymen and mega churches blackmailing their congregation into giving them more money.

The basic Biblical storyline is that God gave humans a perfect world and humans broke it by rebelling against him; suffering was the natural consequence of breaking it, and we all continue to contribute our own bits of brokenness to it daily in doses large and small. Some people who genuinely believe in their religion still contribute their own brokenness to it. Others claim the title of their religion but really don’t reflect its teachings at all. There are clergymen who are rapists. There are also clergymen who dedicate their lives to helping rape victims. There are clergymen who are greedy and endlessly line their own pockets at the expense of others. There are also generations of clergymen who’ve devoted their lives to caring for the poor. It feels like you’re blaming God for the evil actions of one group of clergy without giving Him credit for the good actions of thousands of others. Nor whether each of their actions reflect the teachings of the Jesus they claim to follow. If you’re looking for evidence that God isn’t good, there’s plenty of people out there to provide it. But if you’re looking for evidence that God is good, you’ll find people to provide that too. If you look for it. I’ve found more of the latter than the former the more I’ve looked. God isn’t obligated to prove Himself to His creations; but there’s a lot of proof out there to be found all the same.

God isn’t obligated to prove Himself to His creations, but if my belief and obedience is a necessary requirement to reach the good end and He has chosen not to prove Himself to me, then He cannot be good. A good god would reward good behavior over piety. There are loads of good people who don’t believe in God, or follow different religions, or even entirely different religious structures, but if the Christian God happens to be the “real” one, and belief and obedience are required to gain entry to heaven, or to have good things happen to you (or at least be exempt from the bad things), then the Christian God is not a good god.

Additionally, expecting belief and punishing disbelief without providing any concrete evidence is the act of manipulators, narcissists, and liars. So, if the Christian God is real, then either He doesn’t require belief to be rewarded, or he is an evil, manipulative, narcissistic liar.

And what, in your estimation, would constitute concrete evidence?

A deity that shows up and does stuff, visibly. Like, if he doesn’t appear before us, nor speak directly to us, nor does he leave any obvious trail behind, then we have no evidence he is/was here.

Faith is belief without concrete proof. If you have concrete proof, you have no reason for faith. If God isn’t real, your going out of your way to say so is utterly wasted. If HE is, where are you? You don’t have to accept everything put forth by this denomination or that. Jesus said (something to the effect of) “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Speaking of the 10 Commandments. How many terrible things would have never happened if we did that?

I very specifically *wasn’t* saying God isn’t real, I’m agnostic, I believe there probably is some kind of higher power, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go without more evidence one way or another. My point, however, was that a deity requiring people to be followers of him specifically, saying we will be punished if we don’t/rewarded if we do, is unreasonable. If I can live my life and be a good person, helping people who need help when I am able, trying to avoid hurting others as much as possible, etc. but still be damned because I didn’t show up to church for roll call, then God cannot be good. If God cares more about attendance than merit, he is intentionally damning billions of good people for no reason beyond His own ego, which is a very evil act. I’m not saying there is no god, I don’t know one way or another, and frankly I don’t care, either there is/are a god/gods and he/she/they is/are good in which case it doesn’t matter what I believed, I’ve been good and will get rewarded, or there is/are a god/gods and he/she/they do/does care what I believed, in which case he/she/they is/are evil and I refuse to worship and evil god, or there is no god and all that awaits is oblivion in which case I won’t care (because I’ll have ceased to exist) but at least the mark I left on the living will be more good than bad (I hope). So, ultimately, my beliefs don’t matter, but my actions do. I am a good man, or at least I try to be, and either I’ll be rewarded for it (good god), punished because I didn’t show up for roll call (evil god), or simply cease to be (no god).

There are tons and tons of religions in this world, but so many christians operate under the false dichotomy that you are either christian or an atheist. What happens if literally any other religion was correct about how to get into the good place and avoid the bad place? What happens if the Christians were right about a lot of stuff except the roll call thing, and wasted time judging people and being self righteous instead of actually doing good and wind up damned despite the fact that they were the ones who read the right book and prayed to the right god?

I don’t know all of the 10 commandments off the top of my head, and I can’t be bothered to look them up, so I don’t know if my moral system adheres to all of them, but I don’t enact violence, I try to help people when I can, I try to make everyone around me smile and laugh if I can, I try to educate myself and everyone around me as much as I can, and I try not to make people feel bad or hurt. I try to leave people happier than when I found them. IMO that’s all anyone can do to be good, and any god who doesn’t think that’s enough is a shitty god who isn’t worth my worship.

Just a quibble. But if you believe probably there is a higher power, then you are neither an atheist, nor likely agnostic.

Agnosticism (v gnosticism) is actually orthogonal to the whole faith vs atheism axis. If you believe there’s something, then you’re more spiritual or faithful than atheist (think of being higher or lower on a pH scale). Gnosticism (and conversely agnosticism) has to do with faith being knowable. If one believes that you can ‘know’ god or faith/whathaveyou, then one is gnostic. If one believes or thinks that such a thing is unknowable, then one is agnostic. So while generally agnosticism corelates with lower faith, they aren’t mutually exclusive. Likewise, most atheists don’t subscribe to the hypothesis of god/faith because they deem it unknowable and therefore of little practical value.

At the end of the day we are all responsible for ourselves and our own well beings. Waiting for someone else to rescue you is probably about as useful as praying. At the very least some folks may find praying therapeutic.

I came to this conclusion a long time ago; we are insignificant in comparison to practically everything outside of our own human lives.

And since ultimately nothing really matters, do what you want. Do what makes you happy. It’s your life, live it how you want to.

Nothing is really important besides the importance we place on it. Eventually everything will collapse upon itself and even the big things most people thought were important will feel insignificant in comparison to the complete and utter annihilation of the universe itself.

Also, if you’re depressed, try a tab of acid or a minimum of 1.5 grams of mushrooms. They do wonders for me.

They seem to be doing wonders for your personality…

I’ve simply accepted facts. Once I’ve done that I’ve become much happier.

Besides, can’t say much about basically posting about sucide online.

You’re right. You can’t. Let’s keep it that way.

Yeah, denile is a hell of a thing.

I don’t know how you expect people not to respond to this shit when basically every other post is you complaining or being sick or something.

Walk away from the comic for awhile and get some air, christ.

De nile is a river in Africa. Denial is a refusal to recognize or accept the nature of one’s situation. Jackie seems quite aware of their situation. They seem also to have largely embraced the idea of having the wisdom to know the difference between that which they can change and that which they can’t. However, it sounds as if there’s a struggle about a particular thing which they’re having trouble determining the nature of. Unfortunately I’ve got nothing to offer but electronicly telegraphed sympathy.

I cannot know the pain you feel, but I want to understand. Because I care about you. Not only as the creator of this comic, but on a personal level, as a human being I’ve come to know through these blog posts.
Please do not pull out the knife. You bring joy to a lot of people, and many of us want to help you through this pain. You’re not responsible for what life does to you, and you shouldn’t face it alone . Find hope wherever you can. Call for help and we will answer.

I want to thank you, and tell you how much I enjoy your work. I went back to the beginning, and am rereading it from the beginning. I look forward to reading your work for years to come.
Beagle.

Some of us (okay, me) aren’t real comfortable with internet money things. Understand how you wouldn’t want to give out your address, but maybe you could have a post office box or UPS address where luddites could send something.

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