Well, here we are. Technically the circumstances that caused this disruption are over now, but I’m not feeling quite right. I’m having a hard time getting my brain to come out of sustained anxiety mode. I’m not sure how to explain it exactly, but I know that I’m not right. My mood is switching from one extreme to another at the speed of light. Just bouncing from one state to the next with no segue between them. I’m going to see if I can wrap this little interlude up satisfactorily, then we’ll pick back up on the night we were interrupted.
I hate to make you guys wait longer, but my process was severely disrupted. I kind of lost my place. Usually I can just call up exactly where I was as soon as I turn my thought to it, but at the moment I can’t seem to just call it to mind in a snap like I usually do. It’s actually kind of terrifying because I’ve never not been able to do that. Not for the current storyline at any rate. Usually I just read a couple of pages and it all just pops back in if I get a little lost, but that didn’t instantly happen this weekend. I’m actually still hearing the incessant barking of a dog that was already sent home. It’s just apophenia, but it’s really persistent.
I hesitate to explain what’s been going on because it always seems to cause a bunch of trouble, but some of it is still happening. It’s just not happening in the house with me anymore. Anyway, once my brain is convinced that nothing is going to go wildly awry at any moment I expect I’ll be just fine again. After so many years of mostly uninterrupted flow it’s just weird to have been knocked out of my stride.