807 Springtime For Hitler.

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I was certain I used that page title already.  Apparently I didn’t.

You guys really took my vague gender question and ran with it.  Some of you more or less got what I was wondering about, but some of you went so far out I wasn’t sure you understood the words I used.  In any case, it was interesting reading and I thank those who participated.

What I’m curious about when I ask those sorts of questions is the minutia, and each person tends to answer differently.   I don’t need to ask dudes as much because I already know the general minutia, but sometimes you get a good personal response.  It’s easier in a one on one conversation too, since some of this stuff is considered personal.  Everyone has their comfort levels and all that.  The stuff that people rarely think about is where you really learn the best stuff though.

As a guy one thing I hate is bicycle seats.  What kind of sadist would design such a thing?  Why aren’t they perpendicular to your ass?  It seems like such an obvious flaw.  The big wheel is a clearly superior design, and not as torturous.

I’m not really any better than answering my own questions than anyone else for the same reasons.  I don’t really think about the little things either.  Only when presented with the question do I stop to consider an answer.

Which brings me to one that I trotted out the other day that people had a lot of trouble with:

If you could travel to any fictional universe, and be subject to its physical laws when arriving, where would you go and what would you do?

I haven’t been able to answer this question.  I know where I wouldn’t go.  Any DC or Marvel universes since they end up getting rebooted so often and people randomly die and/or disappear, or become the opposite gender, or who knows what else.  You might be able to get by in one of the animated universes.  They’re a little safer, but not much.

I think if you could just bounce around from place to place it would be easier to answer.  The question kind of implies that you only get one shot.   Let’s make that a separate question because the implied limit makes the first question harder to answer.

Some universes would be dicks to visit.  Like Red Dwarf.  You’d be doing your thing for a while then find out you were in a virtual game for the last 3 seasons or some shit, making you question the very nature of your existence.

43 Comments

Oh my god Crave, you made me Imagine what Getting a Birthday card from Hitler would be like.
Here it Goes:
Guten Tag, I remembered it was your birthday, and even though I am very busy I was able to bake you a cake.
Love Adolf |:=)

P.S
Youll never guess the secret ingredient!
Juice!
(oh im so going to hell xD)

Juice would make it all squishy…. OH! Ooooh….. dark, man, really dark… xD LOOOOL!

Squishy? – You use juice instead of water / milk, especially milk if lactose intolerance is an issue.

Beside all that we all should know, thanks to the super saturation of WWII on the History Channel, he would not have sent a cake, postal system as it is, he would have sent a very nice landscape painting.

Female version of the depression squid which somehow grants the opposite instead… Although I’d be wondering where Holly went in the missing season the whole time…

TEXT WALL!!!!!
(Moved from the bottom to the top to answer the definitive question) The LEGO universes would be pretty cool. I think that’s actually the way to go. LEGO Pirates or something. Yeah. Okay. THAT IS MY ANSWER! And it only took me 30 minutes of talking to myself to get there. But I do think it’s perfect. It’s fun, it’s a little bit insane, there’s money all over the damn place, everything is funny, you can kill people and take their stuff with little to no consequences, you can die and come back, you’ve always got friends with you. The only drawback would be that you couldn’t talk but LEGO world is kind of like a giant amusement park. If I had to choose 1 place to live and stay there. I think that would be an okay place to be.

And now back to the half an hour of rambling to get to the above answer.

Well, I definitely wouldn’t go to the “Farscape” universe… That’s just asking for trouble. Also, Invader Zim universe is definitely out. It kind of seems like the things I like are bitter and horrible. Like I can’t go to the Excel Saga universe. How many times would I die? Futurama? Also something akin to hell, I’d imagine.
The Golden Compass universe might be an interesting place to visit but I wouldn’t want to stay there.
The Tick universe (any).
I would be interested to visit the universe from a Dianna Wynn Jones novel, though not the Dark Lord of Derkholm or whatever. That would be a pretty awful universe to go to before its liberation. At any rate, though her stories do have bad things happen, they’re steeped in magic and damn sight safer than, say, Harry Potter. Magic isn’t exactly commonplace there, but I think I’d have a fair chance of being a witch and having a good time there.
Any interesting universes you would end up as cannon fodder. That’s the problem. Interesting equals dangerous. As much as I love Discworld, Terry Pratchett has no trouble peppering his universe with unfortunate accidents and terrible things. You think we’d be safe there? Oh hell no. I could maybe do the universe from Stardust. Any 80s cartoon universe would probably be safe enough. People rarely die in He-Man.
Yotsuba. I could live in Yotsuba world or Azumanga Daioh world but, again, those are halfway normal.
OKAY! I’ve got it. The Cat Kingdom from The Cat Returns.
I think it would depend on who you were while you were there. Would you be a main character or a background character? Would you be special? I’m reasonably sure that going into a universe of magic, I’d probably end up as a witch but going into a universe of were-critters, vampires etc (NO FUCKING ZOMBIES! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?) there’s no guarantee that I would actually be one of the special critters. Depending on the universe, that might be a bad idea anyway.
I could deal with Atlantis from the Little Mermaid. That would, in fact, be pretty awesome as long as I was a mercreature. Though if my stint as a mermaid in Kingdom Hearts is any indication, I would swim in circles alot.
The Looney Tunes universe… That would be okay, too.

So, at any rate, no special stipulations, I would go LEGO or Looney Tunes.
Special stipulations would apply for pretty much all the other universes. Background characters not only die more often, they have mundane lives and, half the time, difficult ones.
Any universes that would require you to be of that same species (like The Little Mermaid’s Atlantis) I would have to know for certain that I’d be a merperson before going over there. I don’t want to end up in that universe as just a villager on land. Being just an average merperson in Atlantis, though, has to be way better than being a landlubber. The Monster High universe would also be kind of fun, either for humans or for monsters, but you would want to be in the Monster High school.
I would maybe want to go to my Halloween Academy universe. It’s happy and fun like Azumanga Daioh. Sure, bad things happen, but they don’t stay like that.

Damn it. Why would you ask me this question? Don’t you know I think about these kinds of things all the time?

Aw why’d she have to go and Godwin herself? Not that Reggie’s likely to call her on it, but still.

‘Sides, Reggie’s waaay more Arnold Rimmer than Hitler.

There’s a major difference between Rimmer and Reggie which is difficult to describe but is definitely there.
Oh, that’s it. Rimmer can tell a joke.

Some day, I want to read a comic or watch a show that’s just the Rimmers and Reggies of the world. It’d be glorious.

For about ten seconds.

When did that bottle become a liter?

As far as your question goes, I’m not sure. Maybe Townsville or the Avatar world. Somewhere where super powers aren’t outside the realm of possibility, but not to the level of dealing with reality warpers and being retconned out of existence.

Without a doubt, I’d go to the Mass Effect Universe. Sure, the galaxy might be wiped out by a sentient race of genocidal-expert machines, but on the other hand, what other excuse would you have NOT going to that universe?

…

Or I’d go into the Animaniacs world. I mean, Yakko, Wacko, and Dot. And Hellooooooooooooooo Nurse!

Over all I’m not sure what world would be best, but I thing it would be fun living in “the wotch” comic world.

Wow, depends on who I would be in whatever universe I choose. If I’m gona be a regular joe, then there are a TON of universes I’ll avoid. Marvel and DC, like you said. Not great for a average joe. Same with a lot of anime ‘n such like DBZ. Seems like it would be cool, but if you’re stuck with no powers, you’re the lamb and you’re gona be slaughtered pretty quickly. I think I’d have to be somewhere wacky where I don’t have to fear for my life at all times. I mean sure, real life is pretty easy to die in, but we don’t have any supernatural horrors or crazy powered people to deal with (to my knowledge…I mean, you did just mention Hitler, so there’s no telling when that could happen again).

You know what? If we have the power to go live in another universe, then we probably have the power to be someone important enough to not die right off. Still, I agree that Marvel or DC is a safe bet to KEEP AWAY from. Also, I do think someplace wacky would not only be safe for a regular joe, but fun if I’m someone important too, so perhaps I’m not striking that off the list.

I got it! The world of Adventure Time. There we go. We got action, AND wackiness! I can’t say how safe I’d be, but at least things seem to be at such a level of crazy that it would be no more dangerous than real life, if you’re used to it. So yeah, I’ll take that universe ’cause it seems like it would be hard to be bored over there.

Coincidence or Not?

All you would have to do is add a little mustache to Reggie and you get a young Adolf Schicklgruber.

Coincidence or Not?

World choice? Anything Cyberpunk (I’m halfway there… lots more on that with the Sixth Sense Project/Eyetap/Emotiv Epoc/EyeWriter(or EOG) stuff), or anything magic. Unlimited personal power to alter my universe and the universes of others by knowledge, effort, and force-of-will. CP2020 or Vampire: The Masquerade are my favorite RP universes… CP2020 would definitely be the easier transition (I can do cyberspace… social finesse and paying attention to sunrise/sunset is rather foreign to me).

So yeah, dystopian future for me, because through the personal power I can build a utopia out of it, perhaps for more than just me!

Also, as was mentioned above, any universe where I can order “Tea, Earl Grey, Hot” would be something I’d have a hard time complaining about~

Springtime For Hitler — snort! I wonder how many of your readers caught the reference. One of my favorite Mel Brooks movies after Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles.

Yeah, I’m willing to bet Reggie bought/stole a lemon-lime (or ginger) for der Asel and planned to keep the two colas/Peppers for himself, until the opportunity arose for him to abuse Jo. Bastard!

In terms of fictional Universes, I’m thinking of the universe of Edmund Spenser’s The Faerie Queene. No, jerks, it isn’t a Gay Paradise (not that there’s anything wrong with that… Yes, I’m familiar with some Seinfeld lore); it’s a fantasy world of Chivalry, Arthurian Knights Errant, Swords and Sorcery, and it’s most Medieval. The title refers to Gloriana, who happens to be, well, Queen of the Fairies.

This could be one of the books with the most influence on modern fantasy. If you haven’t read it, you can hardly call yourself a fantasy fan — although it’s a most difficult read. Spenser wrote it as an epic poem, in an archaic style of English. While he was a contemporary of Shakespeare, Spenser was active somewhat earlier than the Bard and passed away at the end of the 16th Century. Also, Spenser had finished only about half of the poem when he died at the age of 46 or so. Hey, Shakespeare only made it to 52…

Well, believe it or not, I’ve thought (and asked) about that fictional universe question a lot! The place I’m least likely to go is LORD OF THE RINGS universe! It throws everything back to the dark ages with an added 80% chance of death by goblins or some other horrible fate!

I narrowed my choice of universes down to the ones where the whole world seems to be obsessed with a specific pastime; you know, things like Yugioh, Duel Masters, Bakugan (not that I watch it), Beyblade (not that I watch it), Medabots (wish I saw it), etc. Also, pokemon universe would be pretty nice.

For stuff like pokemon and yugioh and medabots and stuff, it seems like you don’t get much downside to following that universe’s fundamental laws. In terms of Yugioh, being good at a card game can be a lifetime career that makes you a world-wide celebrity and also it seems like all non-duel causes of death just stop working (a guy stopped a massive drill with his bare hands… and still plays a card game). The same sort of durability applies in Pokemon, people can take way more abuse and get godlike forces on their side for idle entertainment and a lifetime of adventure! I fail to see any sort of drawback to those settings.

if i could go to any universe it would probably be the malifaux one, because even if i go there and i dont have magical powers i could still pick up a gun and be awesome. and then even if i die, i could still be an awesome zombie.

my second choice of universe to go to wold probably be the borderlands one. for the same reason as before, any yahoo can pick up a gun and be awesome. and then if your not as awesome when you pick up the gun, you just kill some other yahoos and level up.

DUH! The Dungeons and Dragon’s universe. (Specifically Greyhawk, as that seems to be the setting with least amount of world-wide catastrophic BS.)

I’d totally be an x level wizard (with 1 level in bard).

Greyhawk old school Gygax style I would assume, not that bastardization foisted on the player base by corporate during the days of the Living Campaign. Blackmoor here *waves*

I always have a fondness for Greenwood’s original Forgotten Realms – again not the mash-up that corporate foisted on the world – I would love to be one of my two characters when I was active – High Elf Gladiator / Shade working for the Ravens Bluff navy in Espionage – My Epic Cleric of Mystra [ who needs artifacts when you have magic and a brain to use em creatively ]

I’m assuming I was playing the corporate bastardized version if only because I was playing RPGA. Also, it was living Greyhawk. But, you know…. never got to play… Had to join a group as none of my friends would play with me. :( When you’re joining in with a bunch of strangers you kind of just take what you’re given. The bonus to that being that, if you’ve never played a better version, you don’t know the difference.

Hmm, I would have to agree with DCHorror on the retconned part, because where does someone who has control over black holes test and train their powers?

Ohh, I think Id want to visit the Firefly universe, hopefully be on the Serenity……Dangerous I know, but even now, I know how to handle myself. Then, maybe the Council Wars universe from John Ringo. Another dangerous, but epic place, then I cant forget Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, TOTR,…….to many to list, and all somewhat dangerous. How bout the Mercedes Thompson universe by Patrica Briggs. Ok, I know it. The Thundercats world on Third Earth, as long as I was a Thundercat or a Warrior of some sort. Yep, thats it.

If I could go to one universe it would be the one of El Goonish Shive ( http://www.egscomics.com ). One of the first things I would do would be to steal Tedd’s Transformation Gun and use it to change my gender. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be female, for many of the same reasons Tedd does it.
Then I would find the Dewitchery Diamond, use it to separate my male self and female self, then go on a date with my newly created female clone.

I’d like to go live in the Resident Evil universe, as either a survivor or a top-rank B.O.W. Just not a zombie or a mutated B.O.W., those guys don’t do well.

I go the universe of “The Lost Regiment” series of novels. Downside, marauding aliens want to eat me and all other humans, upside: I’ve got a lot to add to civil war era technology and come equipped with a vague idea of how to use the various additions.

I would never go to Red Dwarf except for some very short visits. I love Holly, and I love the rest of the gang, but I would never be able to stand living with Rimmer and Lister. x’D … Or that toaster. I don’t even like bread. How do you explain that to a toaster? I do not want toast, I do not want any bread at all. Do you have pistachios?
I wouldn’t even visit Storm Hawks, and I love Stork!
No, I think I’d visit Star Trek. The Next Generation. Data, to be more precise. Yes, I’m a sucker for Data. o_o I would probably sneak around the ship and try not to upset anyone to avoid being kicked out, and try to spoil them by doing all the little things such as bringing them coffee and stuff until they are so used to it they’re almost depending on me. And I’d compliment Riker on his beard. A lot.

I’d go home to my own universe… where the only difference from this one is that the second month of the year only has one “r” in it.

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