806 Enemy Mine.

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I foolishly didn’t back up my post and the storm ate it.  XD  I’ll have extra words for you as soon as I rewrite them.  T^T

I got a replacement port for the internet on my pc.  Mom put it in for me.  I’ve seen her do it enough times that I could have, but  she has special gear to do that sort of thing.  after an hour of fiddling around the hard line was functioning again.  The wireless is alright for emergencies, but it’s just not as reliable as the hard line.

The other day I got to thinking about something.  Which got me to tweeting.  The response was minimal so I’ll repost the thought here so you all can weigh in.

I ask girls what it’s like to be a girl often but they never ask me what it’s like to be a dude. Do they not care, or think they know?

I’m not real sure people understand what I’m asking here.  Being male or female is something that’s so natural to a person it’s hard to explain what it’s like to exist as what you are.  It’s also very personal and sometimes our insides don’t match our outsides.  Anyway, I’ll let that get the topic started and then try to make a more complete thought when I’ve worked it out.

39 Comments

Oh, damn you for giving Jo the cute big puppy eye look in that second panel. She continues to be my favorite character thanks to you giving her some of the most fun stuff to say and ways to act

reggies kinda smooth when he wants to be i mean he just pulled exactly what thomas pulled when he bought carol the ice cream even if he went about revealing that he bought her a drink in a ‘tolerate my asshattery or the drink gets it’ kind of way

lol, reggie sure knows his way around the management.

I actually think he’d be OK if he wasn’t such an incompetent delusional douche.

Oh Jo. You silly little imp.

The one time you have the spine to verbally spar with Reggie, you end up putting your foot in your mouth with a simple soda bribe.

Since you made it a point to ask, I’ll respond: I’m honestly not sure what you are really on about. I’ve never asked a girl what it’s like to be a girl, I’ve never heard anyone ask that, and no one has ever asked me what it’s like to be male. For the reasons you put, it seems like an odd question, in the sense of there not really being an answer. One could respond what it’s like to deal with gender-specific issues or problems or anatomy, but as far as a general idea of what it’s like, I can’t see an answer possibly existing for anyone not in a wacky, body-switching comedy, or who wants to (or has) changed their gender surgically.

I would imagine because girls think they have us already figured out. Unless, it is a really critical problem in their life and then they specify the question. Example: “Prophet, You are a dude, would you be… (their problem with men) ”

At least that is how I perceive them asking the same question, but in girl fashion.

To me, being male just involves being straight forward, tanding up for oneself, a little shivlery never hurts (I.e. Opening doors and pulling out chairs) and pretty much necessitates paying for everything / earning money. However, that is more an aesthetic than anything else and most men I know don’t subscribe to at least one, but more commonly many of these.

It is something I have often wondered. But short of a magical transformation gun being invented, it’s not something anyone will ever know.

How often do you ask that question because you’re trying to write for a female character? And how many of your female friends are writing for males, or otherwise trying to temporarily simulate being male? It may just be because you’re the one who needs the information.

Ya see Reggie this is why people want to re-arrange your skeletal structure with a Truncheon, you follow up your minor good deeds with 1st class douchery. on to nicer things.

Brooksie looks so cute when she see’s her goody just dangling there

I know what it’s like to be an unattractive dude. Couldn’t tell you what it’s like to be a dude in general. I could take a guess, but there’d be too much cynicism involved for anyone to take seriously.

Also, what’s in the green bottle?

To your question about boys, girls, or trans men and woman. To be male or female is a personal feeling, and there are many of their behaviors that hing on social structure. You also need to consider the different hormone that affect the way a person deals with emotions and perceives their body. The main structure for gender I believe is the brain, and gender is formed here. For transgender people the brain is developed female, and the body is male or vise versa. I personally have been forced into a gender at birth, and found myself growing up unmatched. being in the wrong gender is kind of like being a artist, and made to do paperwork all day. you know that the want to draw cartoons all over it, but if you do you will get in trouble. doing paper work all day will drive you mad, and one day you just draw on the paper, and realize that being an artist is what you were meant to be. This analogy may not work for every one. It just seems unnatural to waist a good piece of paper on something other then art.
Being a girl is based on hormones and everyday personal experiences. most of all it’s the person perceive yourself to be. there are variation from fem to butch in bothe men and woman, everyone expresses them differently. for example; a man who is really sensitive may act super macho to keep people from seeing that part of him. The heterosexual society is very strict about gender, and forces people into being something that may not be true to self. this applies everybody

I disagree. To be male or female is NOT a personal feeling. Your OPINION of what gender you are may differ from your actual gender, but does not change that gender. Surgery, on the other hand CAN alter this. And it is not a heterosexual definition, it is a scientific one. Biologists don’t go around asking penguins whether they feel male or female. They check the genitalia. If it has boy parts, it’s a boy (and vice versa). The brain actually has little to do with gender. The brain has a lot to do with perception, however.

Please don’t take this as a condemnation of the idea behind your post. To the contrary, I actually agree with the concept (re: that some people were born to be the gender they aren’t born as/ Life sucks for people who are beyond the norm/ How can any person truly be capable of understanding any other person), but it irks the living hell out of me when anyone tries to claim that gender is based off anything other than biologic physicality (for reasons I don’t care to go into at the moment).

So please, identify yourself as whatever gender you please, or none at all (hell, I claim to have seceded from humanity on a far too regular basis). But please, do not mistake psychobabble for classification of gender.

Has anyone introduced you to the difference between “gender” and “sex,” Henchman 21?

You mean Gender, being and the phrase ‘gender identity’, perhaps?

Gender http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender started out as referring almost exclusively to it’s use in language: she, he, it, etc. It was latter picked up by social scientists in the 50s and feminists in the 70s to be applied to societal roles and social concepts. In the late 80s and early 90s scientists from the hard science fields started to use it as a synonym for an animals sex. Many people today prefer to keep the distinction, as it can be useful in describing the complexities of identity and body.

P.S. A number of aspects of the identity of a person are largely affected by their brain chemistry, which can be directly related to their genetics. It is a plausible hypothesis that transgendered persons are genetically structured to have the brain chemistry typically found in the opposite sex. Some evidence of this has been found in post-mortem analysis of the brains of animal subjects and transgender identified humans. (no citations cause i’m lazy)
To give a broader perspective to your (henchman 21) first objection: Everything that goes on in your brain is a chemical reaction dictated by your genetics, and altered by your environment, so every single one of a persons “personal feelings” are a part of their physical body chemistry. (amazement tangent: your every thought is the miracle of the combination of cells and chemicals that cooperate to perpetuate your and their existence.)

I can’t imagine ever asking “what is it like to be x gender,” because it seems to assume that there is limited experience available to each gender and that any one person would be qualified to speak to that. Maybe I’m being annoyingly picky about the words.

I could ask “What do you think it means to be a man, how does being perceived as a man affect you externally and in what ways does it cause internal cognitive dissonance?” I’d translate that a bit back to normal from nerd if I were talking to someone specific, but those questions are what I’d be getting at.

I do try to find out this sort of thing from people (admittedly, mostly as a way of judging how much of a threat they’re likely to be), but I tend to do it more subtly over a long time and as the opportunity comes up. I had outright discussions like this in school, but I never just sit around and talk to people about this kind of thing anymore.

I suppose calling Reggie a dick would be like admitting he was part of a man. He had no intention of giving Jo that (probably stolen) soda until it suited his purpose.

So, @Crave, what is it like to be a Human? A few years ago, I wrote a Science Fiction story (I should probably try to sell it someday) where I tackled a similar question. The setup: a female, non-human alien (I don’t need to give much more detail here; suffice it to say her appearance wouldn’t send most Humans running) visiting the United States is approached on the street and questioned by a local.

The man looked a little embarrased. “I do have one question for you,” he said.

“If I can answer, I will try,” Jenny replied, “What may I tell you?”

What’s it like to be — well — like one of you?

Jenny’s brow wrinkled for a moment, before she spoke, “I fear I have no frame of reference. Please tell me, what is it like to be a Human?”

I hope this doesn’t sound crass or rude, but if you’ve written a science-fiction story, about an alien visiting Earth, assuming this alien has a different culture, a different way of life, born and raised very differently from everything we’ve ever encountered…why is she named “Jenny”?

Not the Doctor’s cloned daughter is she?

J.H.–

No, you’re not not being crass or rude at all. It’s not your fault if you’re not familiar with her milieu, as I gave only the briefest of setups. You see, she’s only technically an alien; actually, she was born on Earth in a parallel universe with a similar but non-identical culture. Anyway, she isn’t Human, and that’s the point.

And no, it’s definitely not a Who fanfiction….

I haven’t really heard anyone ever ask anyone about how it’s like to be of a certain gender.
I don’t really consider myself to be of any gender or sexual orientation. I think the closest thing is a pansexual female. However, my guess is that most females consider males to be “simple”. Many females expect their boyfriends to pick up on all of the little things. What he’s supposed to say when she asks him if she looks fat, when he’s supposed to comfort her, when he’s supposed to be quiet, what he’s supposed to say, when he should agree with her… If the man gets it wrong the woman considers him simple.
Men often seems to consider women complicated.
Yes, there are many differences between the genders, but there are also many differences between each individual. Women may tend to use a certain language, write in a certain way, and men do it differently. But each and every one of them do it in their very own way.
Maybe women likes to figure it out over time?
While men ask “what is it like to be a girl?”, the women may rather ask what the men are thinking and then analyzing it for themselves. I don’t know, though, I’m merely guessing.
I have a few friends who are gay and male, and they’re often asked what it’s like to be gay. It’s most often straight males asking. I don’t think they’ve been asked how it is to be male, though.

I’m a man, and I don’t know a great deal about the nuances to each relationship or the difficult experience that transexuals endure, but I do have a certain piece of advice my brother gave me a few years back. I had just gotten dumped for being a bit of a tool (I was still in high school). We sat down and talked, my oldest brother and I, and he told me something that I think rings true in most cases for the two sexes. When it comes to communication, what a person says means a lot to women, whereas the subtext of their actions may not be as clear. Men, on the other hand, don’t always put the biggest weight on what they say or what sorts of jokes they make, but their actions are where they do their important communicating (by doing things for people they care about, etc). After that break-up and this key bit of advice, I made bridging the communication gap my challenge for future escapades in love, and it worked out pretty well. Thinking about this particular disconnect when with my significant other always helps.
So, I suppose this bit of conceptual information could count as a little bit of what it’s like to be a girl and what it’s like to be a boy.

I can try and boil the gist of what some have been trying to communicate what the general differential between the sexes is COMMUNICATION.

Guys – Don’t believe in what is said but in what is done.
Girls – Believe in what is said and tend to ignore what is done.

This dichotomy explains why sweet talking douchbags seem to always be the center of female attention despite such behavior being obvious to the guys.
[ pretty much a basis for a majority of romance manga stories ]

Questioner: “What’s it like to be male?”

Average Joe: “Huh??”

Questioner: “What’s it like to be female?”

Average Jane: “What!?”

That pretty much sums it up.

Enemy mine was and is one of my favorite Sci Fi movies…hell even Star Trek Enterprise made an episode based on it..same general look as a Drak too actually…
yay for getting movie refrences…..

Staying out of the whole gender thing debate. I just figured if she was going to quote the LOTR line, though, the final ‘s’ should have been hissed: “My preciousssssssss…”

(Pretty much front of my mind, since I recently reread Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers, and am currently right after the riddle scene in The Hobbit. I’ve had a pretty large dose of Gollum text in the last couple of weeks)

From what I can tell, I’m not a good “girl barometer”. In any respect. Though I am happy to not have down-below parts dangling free when I’m naked. It seems so unsafe. Also, it seems to me that swimming in any kind of non-swimming pool area would be like Russian Roulette. I know it’s not, but it seems like it.

Biggest thing I can remember at the moment is that when a guy is done being mad he’s just done. When a girl is done being mad… she’s not really done being mad… and, resolved or not, she will remain mad (and wants to be so) for a long time.
quote: Women, on the other hand, were found to be angry longer, more resentful and less likely to express their anger, compared with men. DiGuiseppe found that women used indirect aggression by “writing off” a higher number of people–intending to never speak to them again because of their anger.

The question “What is it like to be a girl?” is a bit of a vague question. I apparently seem to be the first person who read that and thought it to mean something like “Tell me how people treat you as a girl?” (a rather fair question for those in the artistry/writing industry (or as a hobby)) where the range of answers could include the expectiations and the moulds of the “ideal woman” (how they should look and behave as dictated by family, friends, community, media and society) and how they try to fit into it or ‘break it’, I suppose would be the apt term for it, or the way people look at, talk to, treat and/or any other forms of interactions with said girl.

Of course as other people have previously commented it could also mean “What are some of the perks and fallbacks to having a female body?” or other questions having to deal with the various almost universal differences between men and women.

As for the reason why somebody wouldn’t ask the same question back is either lack of interest or have their own theories, afterall only those with the thirst for knowledge or personal concerns or those who need it for their own uses would ask such a question to begin with.

Being very male physically (3-days without shaving is a beard, broad shoulder, bit of a ramen/mountain dew gut, etc.) and rather androgynous mentally/socially (Bisexual/pansexual/genderblind, house-boy (I do the cooking and the cleaning, my gf is the breadwinner of the house)), I understand the question, though I can’t really give an answer. I know what differentiates me from others, I know what society considers apt for a male or a female, I understand my drives and how I’ve dealt with them… but without a frame of reference for someone else, it’s nigh impossible to explain. I’ve spoken with my closest friends in depth to explain my sexuality, but only those I know well enough to think like them are able to understand.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about sex and sexuality with… just about everyone I know. It’s important to me because I spent the first 14 years of my life struggling to understand what I was and if I was any different from everyone else (I am… most people don’t feel the things I do or think the way I do, for various reasons).

So, I suppose in that being male is something I did for 14 years but not something that came naturally, I could voice my views on how it is different from what I am… Heh, I guess there’s a lot of anecdotal info I could give, in the very least.

Everyone is different. Everyone sees things differently. Because of this, the question “what is it like to be a girl” will be answered differently by every girl you ask. Various things in life shape opinions, as well as what situation people are in. A girl who just used some sort of feminine trick to get something she wanted would say being a girl is great, while a girl who had just been denied something because she was female would say it sucked. Definitions and opinions are varied, and depend on the past and current experiences of people. This applies to everything, not just what it’s like to be a girl.

There are some constants of course. All girls get a little bit more angry once a month, but even then, it varies in the intensity of rage/pain that they feel (my gf is very open about these things. Sometimes a bit more so than any man should have to handle).

So I guess my point is, “What is it like to be a girl/boy” is relative.

“There are some constants of course. All girls get a little bit more angry once a month, but even then, it varies in the intensity of rage/pain that they feel (my gf is very open about these things. Sometimes a bit more so than any man should have to handle).”
It’s funny to read that. One of the girls at work commented a year or two ago about how a few of us girls at the store go through “radical changes” when we’re on our periods– like we bloat, our boobs get bigger, I get … IBS, basically, she gets a nosebleed and vomits, I get annoyed by everyone and everything and everyone is out to get me, I get shaky beyond reason… crazy stuff. The thing is that all of the ones with crazy menstrual problems at work have been tall. Weird.

After reading all the different comments there is one thing that I have to say that other may understand or not. There is a difference between gender and sex/ sexuality. sex is what someone is classified at birth, and sexuality is who the person is attracted to. Gender has nothing to do with either of those thing. gender is developed in the brain, a person who looks at their body and says “this all seems right to me” is in since with their innate understanding of what their sex/ gender is. To most this will never occur to them, but when that does not match, no matter how you socialize someone into the sex that they were assigned at birth, that person will always have the innate understanding that something is wrong until life experience reveals the truth. observation of self compared to others is how children find who they are. ex: who am I more like mommy or daddy, and does the outside match.

Why would a woman ask you what its like to be a man?
Most women are subjected to the unwanted (or otherwise) presence of far too many men to every be curious about that… surely?

Besides… there is no right answer.
I don’t know what it is like to be man, though this chassis is indubitably male.
I don’t know what it is like to be human, though this chassis is definitely of homo sapiens sapiens roots.
I can’t even say for sure what it is like to be me, not only because I’ve never NOT been me to compare, but because I’m not done being me yet, so I can’t know the full deal.

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