There are tons of songs I could have chosen to use for the joke, but I went with the Canadian anthem because Canada will endure. While bands will come and go, while stars fade to obscurity, Canada will endure.
I got the weirdest spam email today. It was a really long message about Catwoman, but the link they gave as a place I should link back to was clearly to do with furniture. I’m going to post it, with annotations:
Hello there, (What up, G?)
As you run a site with an interest in comics, (Sort of…) you will no doubt have a love for the well-known vixens gracing the comic and superhero worlds. (That doesn’t necessarily follow.) Since her first DC appearance in 1940, probably the most infamous femme fatale is Catwoman – but who would portray her sassiness (So sassy!) to perfection? (A woman of some sort?) This illustrated article takes a look: (Well whooptie shit…)
sofasandsectionals/actresses-we-would-like-to-see-play-catwoman (Sofas and sectionals… the link isn’t even disguised. It blatantly insults my intelligence.)
While Anne Hathaway (Who?) has just been named as the new Catwoman, there are a few potential starlets who could stand in for her in an emergency. (Is this a big concern? Is she in mortal peril often?) The article features some who could make a fantastic feline (They can lick their privates?) and would look great in the iconic catsuit (as well as a few left with the sour milk). (Fuck whoever wrote that last line.)
Anyone who has an interest in comics could (Could being a very important operative in this sentence…) find this entertaining and fun to read. (But likely not…) As such, I’d like to welcome you to share it with your readers, who may have some of their own actress suggestions. (Eat a dick! These readers are mine, all mine! Mwahahahahahahaha!) A link back to the original source would be appreciated when sharing. (Well of course it would. You have a sucky article and I have an awesome comic.)
At the same time, if you have any content you feel our readers would benefit from and would like us to consider linking to, please send it to me. (Link to my content forever! It is superior!)
Claire (Ironically the surname given in the header was Thomas.)
What I find myself wondering is was this message hijacked by a real site in an attempt to get nerds to buy furniture? Why go to so much trouble to write this message only to blow it by not hiding where the link goes? What was the thought process? It intrigues me to no end.
It almost has to be hijacked. But what site is out there soliciting links to their articles? Who was this stolen from? Why did they do such a crappy job of making it appealing to nerds? It’s written like ad copy. Fans of things don’t write like this, do they? maybe they wanted to sound professional really badly. Like, we don’t just have a site with a bunch of lame articles and quizzes about comics, we’re really a for serious news source! C’mon you guys! Read our article! You guys? You suck you guys!
I get a lot of very strange emails. It can be very difficult to figure out if people are being serious or just trying to scam you. What’s really weird is that if they aren’t they get SUPER ANGRY if you doubt them. I don’t fucking know you, dude. You could be anyone. I mean what internet have YOU been on for the last 15 years? When I last checked it was crawling with people who want to cheat you out of your money. Incredulity is a survival instinct.