358 Dilbert.

by

The world ignores me for the most part. Outside of this very narrow little online community I, like most people, go unnoticed. Which is fine. The world at large is like a friend with a new lover. They don’t give a crap about you till they want something. Right now, the world wants my vote.
Every 4 years (surprisingly T_T) people who normally don’t give a shit about me, or my problems, get really interested in speaking to me. I’m sure some of you get this as well. Now, I get a little extra something to enjoy when this time rolls around, because my first name is usually given to girls. This being so, I get a few calls from groups that expect women to support them. This year the condition is magnified because of “the Palin question”. The calls go something like this:

“Hello, may I speak to Jackie?” Says a female voice.
“That’s me.” I reply in my ultra-sexy man voice. (It totally is ladies.)
Then there’s a pause while they decide if I’m fucking with them.
“Can (generic female intrest group) count on your vote on (date)?” They ask in a tone that seems to say ‘I thought you had a vagina’.
“I wouldn’t if I were you.” I reply. Not because I have something against women’s issues, but for reasons I’ll express in a moment.

It’s like being part of a club that I shouldn’t be in. I get a tiny look into what it’s like to be targeted as a girl. Other telemarketers did it too back before the no call list. I got offers for things girls stereotypically should be interested in. Some of the time they’d just hang up as soon as I revealed my dudeness. I hated it when I was younger, but now it’s kind of neat. Gender bias is still alive, well, and being exploited, in the modern world.

For the most part, I don’t vote, except for presidential elections. There are a variety of reasons like, apathy (Will my vote really matter?), laziness (It’s a long way to the polls.), fear (People will be there I don’t know.), but mostly ignorance (what’s an Obama?). It’s my considered opinion that no vote is better than an uninformed vote. I don’t want to accidentally vote for Hitler 2:Electric Boogaloo. This also means that I try not to bitch about political things, because I’ve done nothing to change anything. Maybe I can get them to send me an abstention form, if such a thing exists. That would be a legitimate way to vote without really voting. Even the founding fathers abstained from time to time. That way I can express my dissatisfaction with my choices, while maintaining my right to bitch…

15 Comments

I understand your pain/pleasure about the name thing as, I too have a girl’s first name, though I haven’t been in a situation like that yet.

I don’t really plan on voting either.

Yeah Carol’s back!

I totallt agree with the world not caring about you till it’s time to vote. I get the same feeling. Ultra-sexy-man-voice or not, tis’n’t right

LOL, “What’s an Obama?”…!

Also, I guessed right! I didn’t know before, but I figured it was “Jackie/Jacky”. Up top it says “Email JT,” and I don’t know any other “unisex” names that start with a “J”. I think a lot of times, people look to the particular spelling as to whether they’ll be talking to a guy or girl. “Jackie” usually seems to be associated with girls, while “Jacky” is usually associated with guys.

It’s funny how most names that are used for girls and boys (in the English language, anyways) are usually associated more so with girls. Jackie, Leslie, Courtney, Whitney, Dana, Didi…I could go on. I have one of those, too, but I’m a girl, so I guess I’m on the opposite side of your particular problem.

I agree, though: no vote is better than an uninformed one. I think I’m gonna “write in” my vote…if I can…

Do they let you even do that anymore, since everything’s electronimafied?

Notable fictional male Jackies:

Jackie Estacado (The Darkness)
Jackie Treehorn (The Big Lebowski)
Jackie Robinson (pioneering African-American Baseball player.)

Wait, one of them was real.

Also, comedians Mason and Gleason.

I would like to vote, but like you said, I don’t really know what each parties opinions or goals are. Meh, might as well grab a quarter, because whether or not the president lasts for 4 or 8 years, that, I believe, is definitely not enough time to cause change in this country. It just isn’t.

**flips quarter** hmm…vote obama. hurrah.

I shall refrain from giving my opinions of Palin… but… should any of those people call me?… Oh dear Lord… What fun would be had.
Can we count on your vote? Count on my vote… Jeeze. I may be a girl, but if they think that my extra X chromosome has rendered me completely incapable of making an informed and intelligent decision, then, sure, I’ll tow the girl line instead of the party line and cast my vote for some guy on the off chance that he’ll keel over and she can take the reigns. Why the hell not? Sounds like a winning plan to me. Unless of course the girl in question has no place whatsoever near any branch of my government and will, by her own idiocy, forever ruin any chances of us ever getting a female in office ever again.
Oops. Am I showing my true color?
I don’t know. It kinda pisses me off. They’d be doing the same thing if it was Hilary on the ballot and damn the issues all to hell. Issues? Who needs to know about the issues?!? Vote the girl ticket! Hurrah!!! That’s like the freaking happy meals at McDonald’s when they give you the choice of the cheap Barbie or the Hot Wheels. I don’t know about you, but I’m Hot Wheels all the way. What the hell am I going to do with a stupid hard plastic Barbie that’s not the same size as anything else and all you can do is move her arms and comb her hair? I want the race car, damn it, so quit trying to give me your f*cking pink piece of crap.
It’s like when we eat at a restaurant and my boyfriend will order a potato or a salad (he’s not a vegetarian, he just eats them sometimes… hell, I do, too) but they try to set it in front of me and I’m like, “Uh… I had the ribs and the brisket. And the other potato. The one WITH sour cream. Extra sour cream. And cheese, too, And extra bacon.” The salad must be mine because I’m a stick thin girl so that’s all I eat, right? Riiiiiight.

The scariest thing is not being able to vote in the US elections, and just having to hope an idiot doesn’t get into screw everyone else over…
I sometimes think that, where the state of affairs in the US so directly effects like half the world, the rest of us should be able to vote for your president, too, lol.

The world ingores me all the time. Its not untill I put on my fluffy green hat do people start to notice me.

At least you vote at all. It’s my considered opinion that those who don’t vote have no right to complain about the government. At least we’re out there TRYING to make a change.

“.), but mostly ignorance (what’s an Obama?). It’s my considered opinion that no vote is better than an uninformed vote. I don’t want to accidentally vote for Hitler 2:Electric Boogaloo. This also means that I try not to bitch about political things, because I’ve done nothing to change anything.”
You, my good man, are a genius. Seriously, funny, intelligent, and reasonable. Felt I should let you know. The Jackie story was hilarious, by the way

If you’re worried about how much your vote matters, you definitely shouldn’t bother to vote in Presidential elections. In those elections, any single vote is statistically meaningless. OTOH, your vote is far more likely to make some actual difference in state and (especially) local elections. There are likely to be far fewer total votes, especially if you live in a small town or rural area, so each one “counts” for a lot more. Plus, your vote can’t be overridden by a million idiots somewhere halfway across the country. And finally, the results of these elections can have a fairly direct impact on your life.
I’m not going to tell you to vote or not. That’s your decision.

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