On March 20th the comic will have officially been in existence for 15 years. Even though the dates don’t match up on the site because of various disasters. I’m not going to plan anything special because whenever I do something happens to stop me. So it’s just going to be a thing that happens. I think from now on, instead of deleting the Amazon link for the holidays I’m just going to leave it up forever. If you want to send me a gift at any point for this thing I do I’m just going to accept that you want to praise me in the form of objects. At this point I feel like I’ve earned at least that much.
It’s been a long, strange, road. I’ve gone through major depression that lasted for over a year, anxiety disorders, the death of an uncle that resulted in our family taking in & raising his minor daughter briefly, hospital stays of at least a week twice, which I’ve never recovered from fully… Now I’m somewhat agoraphobic, but the anxiety isn’t much of a problem. The Teen has found her place in the world. I feel like I helped her learn ways to navigate her journey in a positive way even when things are bad. In all that time, in spite of all those things, I always had content here when I said it would be. That’s not a bad failure rate. Eventually something will break my streak. That’s a given. It’s only a matter of time. Al systems fail eventually. Even then, if I still have the ability to work after whatever happens, I’ll get back up & keep going. When I started this comic I made a pact with myself that either it would eventually get to a point where it would support me financially, or I would die. I didn’t leave myself an escape route. I’m willing to compromise on a lot of things, but that was something I set in stone for myself & I’ll keep living that way until I choose to end this story. After that, assuming it WAS my choice, we’ll see where things go. For the moment, for the foreseeable future, I have enough story to tell to keep things going for quite some time. Hopefully enough people will want to see where things go long enough for me to tell all the story I want to tell.
Several times this year I’ve gotten messages saying something like “I can’t believe you’re still doing this, I stopped reading for some reason but wanted to read it all again & you’re still going!” Then they read the archive and say something like “This story is amazing! It’s only gotten better. I loved reading it all at once.” People were at loose ends, felling alone, & they remembered that my work made them feel safe & normal & came back to me. I like that. The idea that I can be a haven for people who are weary of the world outside. I think it might have been Scott Kurtz who said what you post doesn’t matter nearly as much as showing up for people. I took that to heart & if I couldn’t always be funny I could at least always be THERE. Being there for people is so much more important than you realize. Being a home for someone, an oasis, a safe harbor, is a very good thing to be. I’ve tried to do that in spite of my limitations as a person, a writer, & an artist.
Tomorrow isn’t promised to us, but if I get another I’ll be here… For as many tomorrows as I get.