1925 One Of Us.

I had this whole thing I was going to write but I got distracted by some nonsense on the Discord server & don’t have time to do it properly now.

19 Comments

ah yes, people always bond better when going through shit

Not going through, just stumbling upon.

Pushing through hardship together is always a good way to get past any blockages in a relationship.

I had done some jokes about poop the other day.
So,you know…I think it’s already out of my system.

Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble. ^_^

…..Mike’s one of US!….One of US!

It’s nonsense! Hooray nonsense!

I mean, if you’re stuck in a crap retail job anyways, you might as well relax and pull up a stool every now and then.

Or pick up a stool…..sample.

Then there was the constipated artist, who stumped, finally worked it out with a pencil.

Eeeuuck!

I have seen dogs pull that crap in Petstores, but i didnt believe the stories I heard, until now. Not saying Jackie’s word is law, I trust him because he never plays “Yank the n00b’s chain.” That’s a fun thing when you can trust someone on the intarwebz to always tell the real truth they know.
Jackie, im not coming to you for medical advice, but i trust you for everything else, to the best of your ability… But also because you are skeptical, in a good way, and so are less likely to be mislead.
Full respect for you!

The only exceptional poop I have ever seen was 8 years ago, in a college restroom. It was half submerged, peeking up at me from under a metric ton of toilet paper, like a ravenous alligator. It was the width of a mega pepperoni or regular Genoa salami log from the deli.

I…SHIT…YOU…NOT. SOMEONE POOPED A FUCKING SALAMI SIZED LOG AND EITHER DIDN’T–OR COULDN’T–FLUSH IT!!

I’ve worked retail for years, thankfully never found poop on the shelf. Clogged toilets, however, happen at least once a week.

I can attest that shelf pooping is indeed a real thing. Christmas at Dollar Tree and I’ll admit, it wasn’t exactly the gift I was expecting.

You mean, you were expecting a different type of YULE L…, um…I’ll just show myself out!

The alligator-turd that plugged the toilet and rendered it unflushable was a regul- *ahem* ROUTINE problem at my store. It went away after one of the employees was fired. I now know more than I wanted to about his ass.

I caught on the ‘I hate this town’. I just want to get away from all of these fuckers here.

If we’re sharing stories of messed up shit…

My 2nd month (so probably my… I’m gonna say 4th week) of working retail, I’m in charge of cleaning the bathrooms. I’m not sure what happened, but three walls in the big stall of the women’s restroom had fecal matter and blood on them. Almost ceiling to floor. My theory remains that a woman got so backed up she exploded. It took two hours to clean.

We are ALWAYS sharing our horror stories.
I’ve got no explanation for that kind of mess outside of physical detonation either, so… don’t eat fireworks, kids.

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