1827 Still Angry.

Jess isn’t stupid. She likely chose this particular moment to bring up this issue because the time constraint would keep Jo from storming out. At least that was the hope. Of course now the issue becomes and angry Jo meeting a new person. Which is a whole other thing…

Yesterday I slept really well, woke up feeling good, and had a productive day. Today I woke up feeling dizzy and shitty. It has persisted the entire day. I don’t know what the x factor is. It must be something to do with how I sleep. Maybe the cpap is doing something to my ears, or exacerbating my allergies somehow. It’s clean at the very least. Maybe I need a new mask again. When I woke up part of the back of my tongue was dried out and hurt. Like air had been blowing over it at an odd angel for a long time. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I don’t know, but it sucks to go from a day of feeling totally normal to feeling dizzy and confused for no obvious reason.

22 Comments

Like. Jess gets 1/2 point for admitting her fault here but this is indicative of some really deep-set issues with her. And she seems aware of that but just kind of brushes it off? That’s scary.

If what Jackie says about Jess waiting to spring this on Jo is right at all, she loses several points for manipulating her partner. If Jo ever figures that out, there’s gonna be some next-level hurt. (Speaking from experience).

Jo might already be aware. She seems like a wiser person than she lets on, and I think she can help Jess grow from this and become a better person. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway

Hm. Maybe Jo can help Jess find ways to work better with others.

After all- Jo was able to get Reggie to change his habits by saying a message like: [ Stop trying to be the perfect + polite guy that…you think people want you to be. Be yourself].
Maybe Jo can do something like that.

Never had that issue with my cpap, but if you are waking with cottonmouth, it’s not right. Do you have a humidifier? Use it.

If your cpap has a humidifier and you’re using it and you got cottonmouth? That and the ears kinda has me thinking your mouth was open. I tuck a pillow under my chin to avoid that. But I am thinking about going back to a mouth-covering mask.

i’m impressed with Jo, sticking to her guns.

As to physical wellness swings, have you ever tracked your food intake? Make a food journal, so you can look back on each day? Go for a week drinking only water.

You know, I’ve run into this before, and I can’t say I haven’t done the same thing in the past –

Sometimes people take something as simple as others doing something for them for granted. It doesn’t appear to be manipulation, but then you realize you can benefit from constantly asking them to do things for you because you assume they want to help you as much as possible. Later, you run into the realization that you’ve been manipulating them and it gets hard to stop (because you have to admit to them and yourself you’ve been manipulating them).

For example: I’m a long time DJ. For a few years, there was a girl who would like volunteer to do things for me. After a while, I started asking her to do things like advertise for me, and she did it. For the longest time, I meant to do something nice for her, but with so much going on, I forgot to do it. Eventually, I took it for granted, and basically just assumed she would be there and do stuff. It wasn’t until another DJ pointed out that I was basically manipulating her fandom for me to do things without some sort of thanks. It never occurred to me that our relationship was purely based on her fan love for me, and I didn’t really reciprocate on my end. I was a terrible person for doing that.

Granted, I took her to the Ultra Music festival in Miami last year to see Marshmello (another of her favorite DJs) as payment for all the great things she’s done for me. I don’t think Jess can pay him that kind of money or anything. The worst part is she realizes it out of the gate – maybe she can actually PAY him to do this, or at least sign a contract. Mine was unintentional – her’s … not so much.

Okay, I’m going to state that I have, at this point, very little sympathy for the unknown guy. Yes, Jess is more aware than many women in this situation are, but the fact is, if she’s promised nothing, he should expect nothing.

Either, at some point, he’s actively sought to go out with her, and been rebuffed (likely gently, so as to not hurt his feelings) and is thus just imagining he has a chance with her, OR he’s never actually brought it up, and is just hanging around doing stuff for her in the hopes that she’ll realize what a ‘nice guy’ he is and end up taking the initiative–in which case he’s being just as manipulative as she is, and she’s just better at it.

There are things Jess can do to make her position more ethical–telling him (insisting, actually) that she wants to put into writing her financial obligation to him, should all this take off, for instance, would make a clear line of commitment. But just because she’s being less than honorable here doesn’t make him a saint by default.

Really, you can’t have it both ways and this sounds all too much like victim blaming by putting forth a very negative stereotype on the victim. Sounds all too familiar sadly.

Believe it or not but the “nice person” does exist, usually comes packaged with “shy person” and “victimized person” as for example Jolene.

I think this is the very gray area that people deal with because they can’t read another person’s mind. The reality is that Jess has … guessed? … that he’s doing these nice things on the premise that he’s hoping to score points with her. That’s already a bad thing – if you know someone is doing something for you in the hopes of getting your attention/admiration and you let it persist without clarifying? That’s on you. You should clear that up pronto.

I have a feeling Jo is going to clear it up if Jess doesn’t.

HOWEVER –

I have a feeling next door neighbor guy may be more turned-on/interested if he finds out he lives next to very cute lesbians.

Although I somewhat agree about the “nice guy” attitude being a sort of manipulative behaviour (albeit rather ineffective), there are two things to consider here. First off, guys are indoctrinated throughout their lives by all kind of fiction and well-meant but dumb advise that sucking up to a girl is the right way to her heart. Can’t really blame them for believing it.

Also, in this specific instance, Jessica *did* give him false hope on purpose in the past, just to amuse herself. ( /comics1/672-special-kind-of-evil )

I’m pretty sure one way to think about management is manipulation… or possibly much of communication is manipulation. Not necessarily ill-intentioned manipulation, but still. That’s not typically how I think about it and it’s not how I go through life, but it makes a certain amount of sense.

Panel 2, bubble 2, “disappointed” only needs one S.

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