1394 Too Damn Sexy.

A few people noticed what I changed about the comic on the last page and everyone else came up with some real illuminati type theories about what I’d done. Just so you know, I changed the text bubbles to a traditional style instead of the black line ones I’ve used since the start. Since the majority of people paid it no mind at all I think I’ll just keep doing it. Making them the old way is harder and takes more time.

I sent a ton of stuff out today. Almost every patron who wanted a drawing got theirs sent. Only two remain. The winner of Carol’s picture was one of those, so he got two things. Hopefully I didn’t screw up what went to who, but I labeled everything so it should be fine.

A couple of people sent me fanart since I didn’t get any for the amiibo contest. When I have some time I’ll post them on Tumblr or whatever. I reblogged one because the artist already posted it but had the presence of mind to put between failures in the tags.

I was also just fucking with you guys when I said there was already a moment where Ed found out about Jess and Jo. There are moments where he could have started doing the math, but no actual scene where that exact thing happens. I was just being a dick. I didn’t show it so I could have this scene happen without it seeming like it had happened before, and it could happen in front of Nina. I think it’s safe to assume that Ed knows his sister’s modus operandi well enough to have figured things out and talked to her about it.

As for Nina she’s playing it cool in front of the new person, but I think it’s also safe to say that her wheels are turning, and she’s very pleased about this information which just fell into her lap.

I’m putting up a lot of random things on eBay as I come across things I want to get rid of. If you’re in to that follow my account, or whatever the ebay equivalent is for that. Eventually I’ll get to my old comic and game stuff. Right at the moment I’m at the very edge of my pile of junk. LINK I haven’t had time to mess with anything that isn’t within arms reach, but there’s some Star Wars stuff I’m gonna sell and some Transformers I don’t need anymore as well. I might sell my Halo edition Xbox, because I’m pretty sure I’ll never go back to it at this point, but I haven’t decided. I really wish I could transfer the saves off it somehow. My old KOTOR and Fable games are on it. I was never a huge Halo fan though. I just like green things.

I’m giving some real thought to getting rid of my NES and SNES Mega Man Collection, but that’s going to require some weighing of pros and cons. No port has managed to capture the proper feel of playing these games on the actual system they were created for. It’s not like I ever play them though. I only really enjoyed playing Mega Man 2 repeatedly. The others were mostly fun for the one or two playthroughs, but I never felt like going back to them. Well, 4 sometimes. I played Megaman X over and over too, but the rest of them lacked the perfect feel of the first.

Most of my old games are really only of value to a collector of games. The average person can get most of them as ports on other systems now. I’m basically selling really nice, old, boxes… with the game inside. Now that you can pretty much get any game on any platform now the reason I kept these games in such nice shape doesn’t really apply anymore. Fear of never being able to play something again isn’t an issue so much now. There’s, like, 6 versions of Final Fantasy available that are all superior to the original. I even got it for my iPad once when it was on sale for a dollar, or something. I learned pretty quickly that games not designed with touch controls in mind rarely translate well to those sorts of devices… Not that it matter in the case of Final Fantasy, because I have it for PS1, PSP, and possibly GBA. I honestly can’t remember if they ported it or not. If they did I suspect I bought it because I am an idiot who enjoys doing the same things over and over.

Dawn of souls! That’s the GBA port of FF1 and 2. I remember it being really good in fact. Just came to me. One was better than 2 in many ways…

I’m not sure if I have any N64 games worth selling. Even with intact boxes the pickings were slim. I think getting rid of Ogre Battle 64 pretty much sealed the deal on that system. Much like with the PS1 and on. Having the jewel cases led to a lot of copies surviving in nice shape. With the download services for new systems old disc games are just pretty coasters.

Anyway, I guess we’ll just see what happens. A lot of that stuff is just taking up space and the emotional attachments I once had have worn thin. Modern games are where it’s at. Also Legos, which are timeless.

Are any of you guys going to get Splatoon? I don’t know if friend groups will be a thing, but I’m actually going to try and make time to play it instead of letting it collect dust like Mario Kart 8 and Smash Wii. The random groups with no group chat kind of work for me in the online mode.


Ogre Battle 64 was the reason I got an N64 in the first place, alongside Super Mario 64, Paper Mario, the various Pokemon titles… yeah. XD Thankfully, Ogre Battle 64 is on the Wii’s eShop (Maybe Wii U’s as well, don’t have one to check) so if you feel a hankering for it you could get it back without needing physical space.

I actually never played it for more than a few minutes because I could tell I would become obsessed with trying to play a “perfect game”. Maybe I could go back and just play it for fun. XD

Given there’s multiple endings and pathways, I dunno if there’s a way to perfect the game. There’s some units and characters you can only get by playing as a Liberator, and some you can only get as a Conqueror.

Splatoon… to me, it just looks like Hentai designed to win over that small percentage of the population that either hasn’t seen it before, or was too young when it came out to realize it was porn…

Although, that being said, it DOES look like a fun game…no need to go run outside and have a squirt-gun fight with friends…hell, I’m going out and squirting some random strangers tomorrow, and just yelling ‘Splatoooooon’ as i run away…

If this has been asked before I apolgize for missing it, but have you considered doing a Slipshine story ? Granted I’m not sure how the whole process works, but since they seem to do well for many webcomic artists there must be something there.

I just think you deserve the chance to get all the newest and updated stuff to make it a little easier on you.

This is so much better than having Jo walk out of Jessie’s room because nowith Ed looks like a massive tool for outing his coworker.

A Song of Ice and Fire joke.

“Brooksie is coming” which opens up so many double entendres.

Hope she doesn’t come with “Fire and Blood” if her relationship is threatened. Water and Flesh though… (Mmmm…flesh…)

Either way, I hope to Hear ‘Someone’ Roar after this.

Why the hell are you so afraid of having your characters use the word bisexual?

I wasn’t aware that I was. Why are you angry that they didn’t?

He’s probably one of those guys that thinks that everyone needs to have a specific label attributed to them…

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?

My anger is the result of compounded slights. It would be one thing if it were just Crave, but I see this in all media. You never hear a character self identify as bisexual. Do you know what that does to an actual bisexual person? It’s painful. We get to hear “fence sitter, haven’t picked a team (as if we’re going to), kinsey this or that, sexually fluid, I don’t need labels” when a gay or straight character will just say, if it comes up “yeah I’m gay.” or “totally straight, that’s me.” When you see that over and over and over again, you want to know, what’s wrong with me that people won’t even say the word? Why do we need euphemisms to talk about what I am?

And honestly fuck everyone who’s responded to this mocking me for being upset. Bisexual suicide rates are higher than they are for both straight and gay people, if I’m saying this shit hurts, believe me, it hurts.

Fair enough. Let me offer up these responses though: From Nina’s perspective Jolene is a lesbian because she’s never witnessed her make advances on a male. It doesn’t make sense for her to jump to bisexuality, which is why she said gay. If Jessica’s response is just “Oh, she’s bi, and I turned her” it makes Jess seem more crass than she is and like she understands less about sexuality than her prudish brother. She’s made the assumption that Nina, who is understood to be well read, will know what she is implying by making her guestimate of Brooksie’s rating. Jess always plays word games to avoid being caught in a lie.

I recognize that you want to feel represented in media, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to cater to you specifically. This is one page into a conversation about sexuality where one party in question isn’t present. Give it time. If every character sprang from the page a perfect being there wouldn’t be a story. I would also add that perhaps the reason that Jess never identifies as bisexual are the exact same reasons you’ve listed as slights. She is flagrant in her identity, but always careful about what she says, or doesn’t say. It is possible, however unlikely, that I was already aware of all of these issues and was going somewhere with this…

I’m bisexual myself, leaning toward female attraction more than male. My advice? Get over it.

Your sentiment, to me, is about as worthwhile as arguing about defining the word ‘marriage’ when legal unions between homosexuals largely carry the same benefits. It’s arguing semantics because you have nothing to gain but still want to be catered to. And really, bringing up suicide rates because a bunch of people won’t say a word that really isn’t very descriptive? That’s just sad.

Gay and straight are usable terms because there’s only one outcome: you are attracted to a particular gender. Bisexual is NOT a good term because it’s a blanket statement. You COULD use it, but why would you when you can be more precise? Bisexuality covers a huge range that neither gay nor straight need to cover.

If this is enough to get your jimmies rustled, I urge you to talk to someone. Taking offense at something this ridiculous seems like a sign of instability or depression to me.

Oh do tell how you managed to use your magic to divine what Crave is afraid of, Anon.

Some people are not well versed in the variety of words that most accurately describe people’s attraction to one another. This is as petty as demanding an explanation for why nobody in this comic has used the words “gynosexual” nor “pansexual” despite it being used by a portion of the English-speaking population and both words being totally accurate words to be said.
Some people think in terms of gay/straight far before they start considering the nuances of actual human sexuality. These fictional characters are a reflection of said people. Some people are extremely savvy about most words which do the job much better, these fictional characters are not a reflection of said savvy individuals.

First you have to butcher a goat

Second you have to divine the entrails

I skipped the second part because it’s way gross D: and jumped to conclusions.

to be honest, its less about crave and more about the characters. This dialogue is natural to them and fits them, they are their own personality. I don’t think they are afraid or avoiding it either, they are just saying whatever comes to their mind as it suits them.

Hehe, I Iaughed at “gay magics.”

It made me think that after what he’s seen of his sister, Ed is totally convinced and mentally prepared to one day find her cackling over a green-glowing cauldron, pointy hat and all.

I instantly heard a song with the lyrics Gay Magics sung to the tune of Electric Light Orchestra’s “Strange Magic” and was forced to immediately seek out the song.



Also, Post the lyrics!

I’m afraid unless you are a song writer/singer with a pad and pencil handy such moment come and fade quickly just like those dreams you can never piece together well enough to explain to anyone no matter the huge impact/feels it had on you.

I think it would mostly just be the original song with gay swapped for strange and some other tweaks.

But jou vant I should butcher a song? I’mma gonna butcher a song right here today. You want a sweet pickle to go with those sour notes?

“Gay Magic”
(by Sal’s Songs N’ Meat where our motto is: A butcher is a butcher. source material Electric Light Orchestra “Strange Magic” wanna know how to sort of sing it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzZuvfaip3Y )

You’re stealthing shyly into my heart
from the shadows came my light.
Now who is shy?

You have a gay magic,
oh, what a gay magic
oh, it’s a gay magic
Got a gay magic,
got a gay magic

You’re splashing puddles in my mind,
a rain drop falling sublime,
oh no, oh no.

You have a gay magic,
oh, what a gay magic
oh, it’s a gay magic
Got a gay magic,
got a gay magic

Oh, I’m never gonna be the same again,
now you’ve shown how truth can be more true
your world, now mine.

Gay magic,
oh, what a gay magic
oh, it’s a gay magic
Got a gay magic,
got a gay magic

It’s magic, it’s magic, it’s magic.

Gay magic,
oh, what a gay magic
oh, it’s a gay magic
Got a gay magic,

Gay magic GAY MAGIC
oh, what a gay magic GAY MAGIC
oh, it’s a gay magic.
Got a gay magic.

Gay magic GAY MAGIC
oh, what a gay magic GAY MAGIC
oh, it’s a gay magic.
Got a gay magic.
Got a gay magic.
You know you got a gay magic,
yeah, you got a gay magic,
OO-o-o-oo, gay magic. (fade)

*sound of crinkling butcher paper*



I will cherish this always sir. Thank you.
The pet monkey thanks you as well, too, as well.

Also, do you take requests…

I was thinking more Queen …… Because I love Freddy’s voice…. and I think fits better if you think about it some.

It’s a kind of magic,
It’s a kind of magic,
A kind of magic,
One dream, one soul, one prize,
One goal, one golden glance of what should be,
It’s a kind of magic,
One shaft of light that shows the way,
No mortal man can win this day,
It’s a mind of magic,
The bell that rings inside your mind,
It’s a challenging the doors of time,
It’s a kind of magic,
The waiting seems eternity,
The day will dawn of sanity,
It’s a kind of magic,
There can be only one,
This rage that lasts a thousand years
Will soon be gone,
This flame that burns inside of me,
I’m hearing secret harmonies
It’s a kind of magic,
The bell that rings inside your mind,
Is challenging the doors of time,
It’s a kind of magic,
It’s a kind of magic,
This rage that lasts a thousand years,
Will soon be will soon be,
Will soon be gone,
This is a kind of magic,
There can only be one,
This life that lasts a thousand years,
Will soon be gone,
Magic – it’s a kind of magic,
It’s a kind of magic,
Magic, magic, magic, magic,
It’s magic,
It’s a kind of magic.

I want to visit Breasteros. Someday, I shall.

Longtime reader and avid videogame collector here. I:d totally be interested in purchasing your games. if you put them up on ebay though I’m likely to get outbid because I’m perpetually broke, though. Still, I’d almost certainly toss in a bid or two.

I come from a rather conservative place but I understand it may not be cool to out someone casually and without thought the way the siblings are now doing? I don’t think that was public knowledge yet anyway?

The only one who had any hint of Jolene’s sexuality was Carol.

Anger and fear have a way of doing that. Look at their motivations…

Ed’s trying to protect his relationship with Nina from becoming one of Jess’s sexual trysts, so it hasn’t occurred to him Jess might actually be into Brooksie… or that he may be damaging one relationship for another by revealing sensitive info.

Besides, if Jess IS into Brooksie (And how couldn’t she be after Alex’s picture (Alex who presumably must know at this point)), she may assume she hasn’t tried to hide her relationship. presumably, it’s just never come up…you know how she is.

either way, love to see how this all plays out.

I agree with Nina…That actually WOULD explain the lust for oversized sweaters (and their associated smell…) and passing interest with (and submission to) Carol’s chesticles…

…If she were better than a Kinsey 3, anyway…

Get over it Ed; Brooksie pounded on your door on a day she knew you weren’t home.

“A few people noticed what I changed about the comic on the last page and everyone else came up with some real Illuminati type theories about what I’d done.”

Well, I thought you’d sided with Cthulhu and switched to The GIMP or something.

“I’m putting up a lot of random things on eBay as I come across things I want to get rid of.

Dude, you can’t put The Teen up on eBay. It’s a violation of their TOS to… Waitaminnit — have you looked at the bids she’s bringing in, lately?

My archive-foo is weak-sauce but did Brooksie not say on at least one occasion that she loved everyone?
As for me, to quote Peanut, a very famous dummy, nnneeaoowww [hand brushes top of head]

Yes, she did. However, physical attraction and emotional attraction are different scales. So it’s possible that she is panromantic but bisexual. Or pansexual and panromantic.Hard to say.

Ed outing her was kind of rude, though.

Or panromantic and grey-asexual (or panromantic and asexual with one or two exceptions of any gender – which does happen and, from personal experience, sucks rather hard for many reasons), or… the list could go on, really. :P But it really *is* hard to say without the character saying so, either directly (“I love everyone, but I’m bisexual”), indirectly (“I love everyone, but I really only want to do physical things with [insert preferred gender(s) here]”), or through their actions.

Gay magics? I believe he is reaching

more like making himself the bad guy, if your using term “gay magic” you’ve instantly lost the argument. I mean sure i think in this instance jess is being inconsiderate but come on dude you can argue it without make yourself an ass.

I like Ed a lot. But in this instance I find him to be acting like a jerk. I’m sure he has a reason but… I may be wrong but I’m getting the feeling that a lot of the problem arises from it being a non-hetero attraction.

I dunno. Just rubs me the wrong way.

I don’t think he has a problem with non-hetero attraction per se. What he’s upset about is Jess’s previous insinuations earlier in the comic that she’d compete against him for Nina.

Could’t edit my original post, so I’ll elaborate here, with comic references:
#650-#665 and #1031: Some insight into Ed and Jess’s sibling rivalry.
#1021 and #1045: Here we get some insight into Brooksie’s attactions and how she feels about most of the main characters.
The story arc from 1119 to 1126, Jess explains her sexual attitudes (and her idea of Ed’s);
1120-1121: Jess’s implied interest in Nina…
1122: …and why Ed is getting a bit agitated at Jess in front of Nina. He’s basically trying to give Jess the message of “MINE! BACK THE F**K OFF!!” without Nina getting wise to it.

Glad you got more fanart man. Hopefully there’s more to come.

I am going to start using the Kinsey scale like crazy. 1,2,4,5 seem like they’re all 10 syllable titles but she explained it in 10 characters.

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