The Times Between 22.

Comic Vote
Presents List

Man, I’m really starting to fall apart over here. I already don’t sleep well when I’m in charge of grandpa and on top of that I hurt myself yesterday to the point that I was in searing pain for the entire night and most of today. I’ll never understand how it is my body won’t just sleep when I’m extremely tired. It must be some kind of insane survival instinct that I can’t turn off. If my lizard brain thinks I’m in danger it won’t let me rest. Whatever I guess. It is what it is. I’m in charge of Grampus at least till Tuesday. Unfortunately we ran out of the easy food so I’ll have to actually cook the last 5 days.
If I had any sense I’d cook until I got tired then coast until the next person took over, but apparently I’m a dipshit who doesn’t think of these things.
I hate cooking. I always have and it’s obvious. The longer I go on cooking the less happy everyone I feed gets. The upshot is that when someone else cooks after I have a go that person gets all kinds of praise because even the slightest bit of effort is better than my best cooking.

I need to lay down for just a minute. Please become a patron with any of the above links if you like. I’ll see you Monday if we don’t run into each other on social media.


When I cook, I cook only for myself and not for others unless circumstances come to the point where I have no choice but to cook for others. It makes me more happier that way.

I’ve also learned that food critics can be real assholes sometimes, especially food connossieurs. Those people deserve nothing more than a fist to the face. Why should my entire dish fail just because the garnish on the presentation of the dish is off by 1 mm?

I spent years as a movie critic. It’s all remarkably subjective. The best you can really do is just present your reasons why you believe a dish failed and go from there.

If people agree with your failure points, they know to stay away. If they don’t, they’ll try it anyway.

All you’re doing as a critic is trying to give people some advance warning about stuff so they don’t waste their money trying something they definitely wouldn’t like but didn’t know they wouldn’t like ahead of time.

By constructive criticism standards, I agree. It’s the snobs that pass off their entitlement as constructive criticism that I wholly abhor.

Go get some rest, man. Good of you to take care of us, too.

And remember, if all else fails:

1. A sandwich is a perfectly valid meal.
2. Opening a can of tuna over lettuce and other random vegetables makes a half-assed chef’s salad, and it’s also a perfectly valid meal.

Man, I really feel that commentary today, Jackie. I’m out of state taking care of my grandpa right now while my grandma is in a home because of early days of dementia, and he was just diagnosed with skin cancer on top of his leukemia, on top of his diabetes which he refuses to manage. I’m also basically taking over his store so he can focus on Grandma, and it’s less an uphill battle and more like trying to climb out of a pit after having been sliding for almost 10 years.

Last night, I was laying there exhausted in my bed with worries and frustrations spiraling me into a fit, and after laying there awake until 1 I had to get up and quietly stormed around my room, then left and just watched the rain from the front window until I thought I was calm enough to go to sleep.

This is hard as hell, man. Here’s to both of us getting through it.

You could try cooking a big batch, put it in containers and microwave when needed. Pasta, rice, etc. (I nowadays have a rice cooker which makes it almost impossible to fail, btw.) Add condiments, sauce, meat. You could also look at getting a slow cooker/crockpot. Seems to reduce the difficulty when applicable.

My own cursed food is eggs, for unknown reasons. I love eating them but whether it’s boiling or frying or whatever, my eggs never come out quite right. Omelets work best, though it’s hardly restaurant quality.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.