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Arg… I see a hundred flaws in his reason. Grr… Jo probably isn’t gonna be able to though. Man, I was thinking John was a pretty cool dude, but he’s got his ass hat on today.

@Carvin, what asshat, John is simply being honest about what he likes and about his opinion of what Brooksie is looking for in eye candy. I’m a pretty damn big guy and I would much rather a lady was honest and upfront about why she didn’t want to go out with me than to lie about it or lead me on. There is no shame in having a preference, it’s just the way things are. Just don’t shame people or degrade them.

John is being the more sensible of the two here and no mistake.
Isn’t like he has an obligation to be dishonest for the sake of anyone’s self-esteem.

See, the problem is, while many can accuse John of being shallow, the thing is, people don’t get to decide what they find attractive. You can’t decide to find a certain person attractive anymore than you can decide to find a certain sex attractive. What we find sexy is influenced by many, many different factors, but almost none of them are in our control. John has noticed that he doesn’t seem to find larger women attractive, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself frequently like girls who others would describe as being ‘chubby’ (though I’d probably use the word ‘curvy’ instead), but even I have limits to that, and can’t seem to find very overweight individuals attractive. And that’s not something under my control. It’s not shallow, it’s realistic. Now, if John was making judgement about Alex for being somewhat overweight, and expressing prejudice, *that* would be shallow. But not being attracted to someone because of their body type is not the same thing as discrimination.

John’s definitely demonstrating a “Good is Not Nice” point here. It would be very “nice” of him to flirt with Alex and show an interest in her, but in the end he can’t make himself be physically attracted to her, and he would hurt her worse in the long run if he gave her false hope.

It’s nice to flirt with someone you have no interest in to get something out of them?

Nice as in playing along, “being nice.” If you’ve had anyone that was really into you, while you weren’t into them, coming on to you then you’d know what it means to “be nice.”

I would instead assert that John is being Good And Tactless here.

This is a position with which I am unfortunately all too familiar. I think I’m a bit less brusque about it, but less aware of when I’m doing it.

Flirting with Alex would not be a friendly (nice 1) behavior, nor would it be exacting (nice 2). As such, he’s not demonstrating Good is Not Nice, IMHO.

He’s being a jerk yeah but at the same time he is also being honest and forthcoming but he could be more tactful.

First time I read this, John’s second line made me respect him a lot more. (Still does.) And, much as I Do Not Like Upsetting The Jolene, ( D-:<# lol) his last lines had to be said.

*wanders off muttering furiously about double standards*

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