814 Until There Was You.

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There are few things as dangerous as a woman who understands exactly how hot she is, or is capable of being.

Well…  I played the Dragon Age 2 demo.  I was pretty severely disappointed.   It’s all button mashy Legend Of Zelda God Of Warish.  That bums me out.  I really don’t want to have to hit buttons over and over again.  I want to plan the attack and let my minions do it, with limited input from me,  like the original…  Sadly, I would like to see how the story goes.  I’m invested enough in the world that I’d like to watch them ruin it.  It’s at times like these that I’m really sad that cheaters aren’t good enough to make cheat devices for new games anymore.  If I could blow through the heinous gameplay like some kind of living god I think I could tolerate it more.

They also made the text EVEN SMALLER.  WHO THE FUCK CAN READ LETTERING THAT TINY!?  It was minuscule on my old TV, when my sister gave me her old larger one I could finally read the text in Dragon Age, and now they shrank it down to smaller than it was before.  I can’t type hard enough to express my rage over this.   Are they trying to make it impossible to read to cover up how shitty the writing is now?  It almost has to be something like that.  They are trying to conceal the flavor text for some reason?  What secrets are they trying to keep from me?  Do they know who killed Kennedy? Where Hoffa is buried?  It has to be important to go to such lengths to obscure it.

At any rate I’m not sure what to think about this seemingly calculated slap in the metaphoric face.  I guess they are sick of their old audience and are looking to trade it in for twitch gamers.  Such a shame.  Maybe they’re focusing on making Mass Effect 3 not suck and something had to be sacrificed.  I would be willing to accept that as long as MA3 is as good as 2.

I also played the Bayonetta demo.  I wonder if the guy who wrote the script actually typed it with his erect cock.

This is old news, but apparently it’s cool to make a video game of your wet dream in Japan.  It’s like a tire fire built on a mound of fetish fuel.   The game itself is virtually impossible for me to play.  It’s just a blurr off images I can’t make out with a lot of lights and sounds and, apparently, the golden rings from Sonic The Hedgehog.  That just adds a whole other lever of weird fetish connections to the thing.

40 Comments

She is right you know, put of a sexy pair of glasses and a tight shirt and anyone would fall for her. Though I could care less how she looked, I love her personality.

Couldn’t.
That is unless you mean you totally do care.

It is one of those idiot tripwire phrases. Like a big warning flag. I can instantly tell someone’s mental faculties are a little on the low side if they start saying “could care less”.

That bugs me too… I mean, it should be obvious that the phrase is “I couldn’t care less”. Yet for many people it’s not.

Unless it is geting played with, like:
“I could care less, but decided not to.”
or
“I couldn’t care less, oh wait, I could [turns off computer]”

I agree (about the text thing thar). My rage over tiny xbox text knows no bounds! I am 21, but I am legally TOO BLIND TO DRIVE, my vison is ONLY getting worse, and you make the text ONE PIXAL BIG?! Zoey is dying SOMEWHERE, Fransis is in a closet SOMEWHERE, and Louis is incap… and I can’t read the directions to find them, as it’s REALISM MODE!

Oblivion would be more fun if I could READ THE TEXT. Period!

And Halo is… well Halo..

All that said, they need more than 1×1 pixel big text. Glad I’m not the only one buggered by this! Everyone else I know seems to totally oblivous or fine with it!

Glad to see that I’m not the only one who suffers from terrible text sizing. My screen isn’t big and I can’t afford to get a huge HD tv so I can play my games. No game is worth a thousand dollars.

You can enable auto-attacking in the Options menu of Dragon Age II. Makes it a lot more like DA:O.

Personally, I liked the “simplified” combat system, and especially the cross-class combo attacks, because they reward tactical usage of abilities. Playing Hawke as a mage, I actually specced towards setting these up for my teammembers, and found them very effective, even with the difficulty raised.

I know you don’t want to play DA2 on the computer, but if you do, you could use console commands to make yourself a god and speed through it. Just a thought. And yeah, screw that text noise. I guess the choice was between making it for HDTVs or normal TVs, and those of us without massive plasma screens are finally considered the minority.

Meh, I was bitching and whining about text size until I dropped 300 on an HDTV that supported both 4:3 and 16:9… totally worth it. I can understand both sides, though.

Also, I’ve played games where MOST of several screens are taken up by minimum-sized text that can all fit in a 720p screen. There’s a certain part of that that I believe is worth it.

Then again, playing a game in 640×480 now is almost unbearable, so I’m not surprised more and more devs are dropping it. My only issue is that now my older games have a habit of looking meh. I need to just get off my hump and drop 4k on a solid 3DHDTV and 300 for a 4:3 SD projector… problems all gone!

At least it’s not like the first Dead Rising. When I first saw the tiny text, I was all like “WTF, is there something wrong with my TV?”

I am joining you in hoping that ME3 will be good. You have already seen, I assume, that the results are in and the new Femshep is a redhead? And just as I type that, it suddenly strikes me that the new FemShep is Nina’s body and hair with Carol’s hair color.

I hadn’t really thought about console games having text problems if they were made for an HDTV and you didn’t have one. I’ve never owned a console. I do remember a PC title that had terribly tiny text on my screen, but I couldn’t tell you which one as that was many years ago.

I stand corrected from my post last comic, Mmmm yes Nina in a sexy librarian outfit would be very VERY nice…………oh yeah- *Censored for being really NSFW*

@Eruadan–

Oh, I’ve already seen a picture of Nina in the tight blouse as Madam Librarian. Thank you, Ed, for that flight of fantasy!

@Crave–

Okay, that’s it. I’ve had it with your whining! What is it going to take for you to mortgage your entire income for the rest of this year and all of next year, and buy a new 72″ HD television?

My old 27″ SD set went up in smoke (more or less literally) about four years ago, so I went into hock and bought a new 42″ HD at the local warehouse store. Fortunately, I had just paid off my techno-junk dedicated credit card, so the $1400 pain for a new Sharp Aquos could be amortized over six months — still, ouch. Luckily, when the price went down a few weeks later, I’d kept the sales slip and got $212 (two large plus tax) back. Today, of course, that $1400 would buy a big, smackin’ unit that would cover my living room wall.

Speaking of hock, that might actually be a good way to get a less-than-new larger TV. I don’t know about the Midwest, but here on the East Coast, the pawn shops are brimming with used HDTVs that people can’t afford to keep. Usually, you can get one for pretty cheap, because they won’t give out much on a pawn.

I’m just sayin’.

–Perfesser

I hope this is sarcasm. Cause really, a $1400 price tag is ridiculous. Why would you suggest someone buy something that should be inconsequential that they can’t afford to outright buy right now?

Are they putting obtuse in breakfast cereal now?

I hope this is sarcasm.
What was your first clue? I thought even mentioning a 47″ HDTV for gaming set that one up.

A $1400 price tag is ridiculous.
“…about four years ago…” According to Moore’s Law, the level of technology has doubled twice since then. The prices have gone down correspondingly. I can’t see anyone needing more than a 32″ HDTV to play video games in their bedroom/studio, and you can get one for less than $300 at WalMart (this week). And yes, their most expen$ive set is a 42″… for less than $550. One can pick up a different 42″ for around $400, which is pretty close to Grove’s evaluation. No, that’s not pocket change, but consider what one pays for a gaming console? Xbox and PlayStation are both around $300, a Wii is about $180. I paid a lot more for my first color monitor than I did for the computer to which I hooked it up.

Why would you suggest someone buy something that should be inconsequential that they can’t afford to outright buy right now?
(* sigh *)
Why would I immediately suggest a very good way to obtain one’s heart’s desire at a very good price? My television wasn’t inconsequential when I bought it, and it isn’t now. Neither, for that matter, was my car or my house. Now get a grip, and learn to read and comprehend the whole comment before you fly off the handle.

Cause tone doesn’t carry through the internet and I actually know people who would say that. I read it as sarcasm, and was just making sure.

Yeah, my pricing is wrong, because I haven’t looked at tvs in four years or so. But when you only post the one value, and it’s one you say you’ve paid, I’m going to think it’s the right one.

A tv is different from a house and, depending on location, a car. You don’t need a tv, much less a big tv. It is, therefore, inconsequential. You need somewhere to live. You need transportation to work. That tv does nothing you need and the 42″ does it the same way a 20″ does.

And as stated, tone doesn’t carry well. I didn’t fly off the handle, I stated a fact based on what you said and asked a reasonable question, especially considering that a big factor in our economic downturn in the recent years was because people were living beyond their means on a credit bubble. Don’t look down on someone who understands living poor and don’t do it til you know what the words they are using mean.

I really love that Nina uses her power for good, not evil. I’m not a game-playing girl (evidenced by my direct method of hunting down my husband when he never tried to ask me out because he assumed he didn’t have a shot) and I don’t surround myself with such, but I understand they are out there. Having confidence that you can attract men + dressing in a way that shows your confidence and playing flirty games + stringing them along are two completely different things.

I’m loving your realism here. I never believed in “the one” and I’m thinking Nina doesn’t either – she seems more likely to understand that there are levels of compatibility and we all make adjustments and sacrifices as part of being in love (in other words, there’s no one out there in the world that makes love effortless, we all have to work at it).

okay I’m back. Sorry I went into a bit of shock thinking about MY “Nina” in that outfit….

As for your complaints about small text, even with 20/10 vision, I have to completely agree with you. Video games, especially long adventure games, strain eyes enough, I don’t need to be squinting 3ft from tv which is 41″ and in HD. Tis’ ridiculous.

Well, Nina’s already the glamazon of the group, being six-foot-something and sexy. From what we’ve already seen, she knows how to display her best… traits.

The fact that she’s only a pair of glasses and a tight shirt away from getting anyone she wants is an understatement at this point, at least I think so.

Hmmm. It has been awhile since we saw our resident twins. Now that the Potter movies have come to a close it will be interesting to watch Nina and Edward do their little dance around each other again.

i think you need to change some settings or cable there crave, i have a comparatively tiny 27 inch tv and i could read all the stuff in DA2 easilly

I managed to play DA2 fine on an old 14 inch TV….
You don’t even know small text until you try Skyrim though.
Skyrim was the one that made me upgrade to HDTV. And not a single regret was had. It makes a HUGE difference.

Incidentally… the problem with DA2 is the setting. Everything takes place in one tiny little geographical area, which feels very restricted and gets very boring very quickly. The combat system, so far as I’m concerned, is a massive IMPROVEMENT over the original. It looks much cooler now. Orders of magnitude so.

And Bayonetta is glorious. Wonderful. Brilliant.
Granted, it is fetishism and “rule of cool” turned up to 11 … but that is a good thing. You just gotta check your “serious business” at the door before playing or you’ll never get it. Why else would they make a game about a burlesque witch with gun-heels? I mean c’mon! =3

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