631 Never Came Up.
There’s a part of me that can’t believe I actually did this joke. It’s much smaller than the part that cracks up at it. ^_____^
What do cartoonists talk about you may wonder. Wonder no more:
Agoutipatootey: HEY YOU!
Agoutipatootey: I have INSANE NEWS!
betweenfailures: Insane is it?
Agoutipatootey: It is OUTsane, that’s how insane it is!
Agoutipatootey: Our downstairs neighbor tried to kill her boyfriend.
betweenfailures: But didn’t get it done by the looks of your sentence.
Agoutipatootey: Nope, but she got pretty close.
betweenfailures: How did this strange series of events go down?
Agoutipatootey: WELL… The other day, a cop came to the door and asked me if I’d heard anything and I’m all “No, what’s going on?” because I notice that there are cops everywhere and they have police tape around the unit downstairs and they say that she stabbed him in the neck and stomach.
betweenfailures: Those places are important for living!
Agoutipatootey: He called 911 and talked to the operator until he passed out. When the cops arrived, they caught a blood-soaked woman fleeing the scene
betweenfailures: She didn’t flee very well then. You’re sposta flee right away. That’s the optimal feeing time. You don’t wait around to get your flee on is what I’m saying.
Agoutipatootey: She is doing it wrong!
betweenfailures: She’s going to get raped with a broom handle the right way now, so it all evens out, I guess.
Agoutipatootey: Ha ha! Prison rape…
betweenfailures: Do you know the whys and wherefores?
Agoutipatootey: Nothing too clear, but the other neighbors say that she has a history of being crazy and that she’d just switched to some new anti-freak out pills… that apparently don’t work. After the cops cleared out, her landlord let us view the crime scene
betweenfailures: XD did she charge you to look?
Agoutipatootey: Naw, first time is free. Let me tell you, there was a lotta blood
betweenfailures: It’s amazing how much you can lose an not die.
Agoutipatootey: Yeah, tell me about it. There were big goopy pools of it in the bedrooms, then a trail of blooddrops leading out to the foyer
betweenfailures: Gross. How bad a shape is the dude in?
Agoutipatootey: He’s in stable condition now.
betweenfailures: That’s good then.
Thomas: Gonna try and knock their socks off from the get go?
Somesortofrobot: Something like that.
I want to show something good,
and that page would make a really good thing to showcase
Thomas: It’s not something you’ve posted though, right?
Thomas: Well I look forward to seeing it later then.
Somesortofrobot: And you will.
Thomas: Oh will I now!? We’ll see about that!
Thomas: Also, everything is porn. Ever and always.
Somesortofrobot: Tree rings?
Thomas: Ever and always.
Somesortofrobot: I guess I’ll just have to accept it
though still make fun of people for it.
Thomas: Just be warned, someday you may find something weird you like and then it will all boomerang back on you. Like a returning stick of doom!
the day that happens
you can say I told you so.
Thomas: And I will. Oh, will I ever!
I might even get one in before it happens just to make sure.
Somesortofrobot: Oh, I’ve come to expect as such
Thomas: Good good.
I can see it now. You’ll be all “I can’t help it, Ziploc bags make the experience better!” And I’ll be all “Remember may 23, 2010? I told you so! Told you so very hard!”
And that’s the story of how you get the nickname Ziploc.
Somesortofrobot: or doggybag.
Thomas: Whatever you prefer. I think Ziploc sounds cooler, and it’s a brand name.
I should copyright that.
Thomas: People can say “what up, Ziplock?” And you can say “Keepin’ it fresh, yo.”
Somesortofrobot: Now with zipper action!
Thomas: Yellow and blue make green!
I guess if you go with doggy bag you can say “Takin’ it home to the missus.”
Somesortofrobot: Oh, lol.
betweenfailures: I’ve never asked formally, but I always assumed if ever I wanted to have Ginger in a comic it would be alright. Am I correct in thinking this?
crazycarl: Yep, I’d totally be honored.
betweenfailures: Gewd. Gewd. Ginger’s anal sex adventure is a go!
crazycarl: I’m sure it would garner more visitors than my own comics!
betweenfailures: Fun for the whole family.
Except the kids.
And the grandparents.
Fun for select members of the family would be more accurate.
crazycarl: Although, oddly enough, Great-Grandma is really enjoying it.
betweenfailures: Memaw was a hellcat in her day.
betweenfailures: How’s work?
crazycarl: Not too bad. It’s getting hot though, so it’s sometimes unpleasant in the field.
betweenfailures: I spose it would be. Finding anything interesting?
crazycarl: Nothing excitingly new, but we’ve just started, and hopefully soon we’ll start rafting down the river to sites. We’ll be camping overnight a few times.
betweenfailures: Sounds dangerous.
crazycarl: I am an archaeologist. We’ve been working along the rapids right now. Doing some dangerous boulder climbing.
betweenfailures: I like how saying what you are is an explanation.
betweenfailures: I’m an archaeologist… Bears do not threaten me.
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!
XD A winner is me.
Damn, might have to send my sex joke audience your way today. I will return to outdirtying you soon!
Of that I’m sure.
Ha ha ooooh how delightful. Uuh.. something about putting an allspark into a something something… can’t think of any good ones right now.
How about he’s the key to her Alpha Trion?
lol archeologists get to have all the fun.
It looks like Thomas might be doing some boulder climbing too…
The mountains are coming to Muhammad.
You should NEVER shy away from a dick joke, I say!
In future I’ll defer to your expertise then.
so far so good
So good so far.
So so gar food.
A so so for god.
Oo frog’s a sod.
As artists, I think we have the most interesting conversations ever.
They’re up there, that’s for sure.
Dude…you executed that humor shot perfectly. I’d go so far as to say it’s an no-scope sniper rifle headshot.at 100 yards! XD
One shot, one kill.
I like how you did the blushing. Especially Thomas’ red ears. <3 those last two pages.
I’m glad more than Tasha noticed that.
It’s weird that you’re the one who made this joke. It’s not that it doesn’t fit in, I just always assumed my comic was the one with the gutter mind.
Sexuality is an important part of the human experience.
I fear you are putting false hope in the minds of those wanting to work in retail…
“work for virgin megastores and giant titted chicks with a dirty mind will enduce erections by sitting on you… and they also like transformers! HOT PISS!”
Even in the desert there is life.
I just read all your archive, and it is brilliant! I love all the nerd references.
It is now on my bookmarks list and I will be reading it every update day!
Thanks. I look forward to seeing you around.
So I just caught up with this comic after archive-binging. Beautifully executed slice of life. Keep it up!
Lol I was so excited, that I CAME early. Keep up the good work dude!
I see what you did there! XD
Just stumbled across this comic. Very funny stuff and VERY hot zaftig girls!
(…and thank you for avoiding a Transformers/boner analogy, since I’m sure there’s probably ten thousand websites full of that sort of thing).
Well it’s really only the one, but thanks for checking out my stuff all the same.
I just love how you’ve done the blushing in this one and also this is quite literally the best dick joke i’ve ever read
Well, if you’re going to make a dick joke it may as well be the best one. XD
Her cleavage in the third panel gives a good reason for the joke, if you ask me…
And I wish situations like this played out more often. Oh, the fun times that could be had.
There are many reasons this joke could work if we really stop and work it out…
Many reasons. XD
I like Pie
Pie is certainly good. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything right now, but I think you make a fair point. If we were to make it into an equation it would look like this: Pie is > or = to good.
I love that you made his ears turn pink. ^^
Heh heh… It’s something people never show. My ears turn bright pink when I’m embarrassed, so I assume eveyone’s do.
I totally did not notice that. Good eye!
the dual punchlines are awesome! Then again, nearly all the dialog in any given strip is aweosme.
You’re too kind.
The last one was an rewrite add on. This scene ended differently, but at the last second I thought of the joke and knew that Carol would think fast enough to say it.
Many years ago my GF and i were lying awake and suddenly the people in the apartment upstairs began shooting at each other…
Archive crawl continuing!
“I’m an archaeologist” is now a punchline you are required to use at some point in the comic.
I’m not made of stone either. HOT
Didn’t realize there was more’n one of us going by Colin on here…
THERE CAN BE ONLEH OOONNEEE!!!
Unless you’re some forgotten past-me… actually, no; still then. :P