484 Subtle Levels.

I’m gonna give my latest interview a little more screen time, since it was posted late.  Me & The Stereo. 

My friends all know that I’m a fan of Transformers, so they all act a little surprised when I say I just don’t care about the new movie.  I enjoyed the first one, it was fun, but it wasn’t Transformers as I enjoy them.  It was something else.  Something made to appeal to the LCD.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  That’s where Hollywood makes its money.  That doesn’t mean I’m obligated to like it.  What keeps it from being right to me?  The robots are so far removed from living beings that I can’t relate to them.  If they die I feel the same way about it as I would if you ran over a toaster.  In fact, I might cry more if you ran over a toaster because at least it can make me delicious toast.

There’s other stuff too.  Like the fact that the camera is so rarely set in a fixed point in space.  Action scenes are just a blurr of colors and sounds.  That’s not a problem restricted to Transformers.  No, that cancer is one afflicting the whole industry.  Right now Hollywood likes its cameras as shakyas Michael J. Fox.  Perhaps steadycams are just too expensive in these tough economic times.

I’ve long ago accepted the fact that I will never, as a fan of anything, get the perfect film adaptation.  The best anyone can hope for is that they don’t rape the idea and leave it in counseling for the rest of its life.  The first Hellboy was pretty good.  The Harry Potter films have done okay so far.  Lord Of The Rings was about as great as a fan could hope for, and even it had some pretty glaring things changed to suit the average moviegoer.  Iron Man was about the best screen adaptation I can think of, but as someone who was not a big fan as a kid I can only guess at how a true fan would feel. 

I hear rumors that there may be a film version of The House With A Clock In It’s Walls on the way.  I was thrilled at first.  I loved John Bellairs books as a kid.  The more I thought on it though the more doubt crept into my mind.  That book was written at a time when children were allowed to experience fear.  What would a modern film company do to such a book?  More horrifying things than anything the writer conjured up I’m sure.  I may well have to endure the agonizing experience of watching a beloved book go down in film flames again…  It’s almost too horrible to contemplate.