Every so often I get messages from random instant messenger programs inviting me to chat with Idontknowwhothefuckyouare@fictionalemailaddress.com. They make wonder if some anonymous person wants to talk to me, yet lacks the basic social skills to preface the request with correspondence. I recognize that these requests are likely spam, but there’s something in me that imagines some poor fan, desperately reaching out in hopes of making some kind of connection. I feel bad for this imaginary person. Firstly because their heartfelt desires are being brushed aside because they are wrapped in a dubious package, and secondly because if they ever did talk to me it would ruin the magic of not knowing what a loser I am.
My friends have to choke on that sour reality every time they see me.