2783 Very Tense.

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I hurt myself last week on my left side. Since I’m right hand dominant I tend to injure myself from strain injuries on my right, which makes things more difficult when I manage to hurt the left side because I’m not used to it. Generally it wasn’t that big a deal, but it made it so I couldn’t lay down without being very uncomfortable. I already have a difficult time sleeping so adding in another issue always adds an layer of difficulty I have zero need of. I can’t sleep sitting up unless I’m in a moving vehicle and I still have my apnea problem regardless of how I’m positioned. So sleeping in a chair wasn’t a solution. The long and the short of it all is that I wasn’t sleeping properly and it causes me to experience a significant increase in lethologica. I can think what I want to say, but I can’t say it. It’s one of the easiest signs for me to recognize that I’m sleeping exceptionally poorly. It basically stops as long as I’m getting oxygen while I sleep and sleeping well. It’s been a handful of days and I’m more or less back to normal now, but not completely. So while I’m writing I’ll come to a word I want to use, that I know exists and what it is, but I can’t type it or say it. I sit there for long moments waiting for it to load up and it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes I can pull up a synonym and that will either work, or cause my brain to remember the actual word. It’s irritating not having the specific word I want because when I want specificity I chose specific words with the right layers of meaning. It’s not as important when I’m writing vaguely.
I can also tell I’m not getting proper brain rest because I’m having dejavu more often than normal. When I was younger it was very common for me to have that sensation but after I got my cpap machine it almost completely stopped. Which means for essentially my entire life I was having this slow, long term, brain damage piling up. It’s actually kind of amazing how well my brain still works considering. I’m fairly sharp for someone my age, and still capable of learning new things quickly. Maybe my brain healed over time and got by just on the strength of being young.

The other day mom was talking about how people use vinegar dressings before meals to regulate blood sugar spikes. How it sort of evolved in cultures over time without being expressly stated. Like how you have a salad with oil and vinegar before eating pasta. I generally don’t have an issue with it unless I eat that kind of white bread they use to made sub sandwiches at Walmart or Safeway. The thing is, I like drinking vinegar, I always have as does my mother. So the last time mom left me a sandwich to eat while she was away I poured a cup of vinegar to dip it in while I ate parts of it. It turns out the legends were true. I didn’t get sleepy or lethargic. Mom said that apple cider vinegar, or red something, wine maybe, were considered more normal for just eating, but I like the pure water looking stuff you usually use for cooking. It’s the only way I’ll tolerate wet bread. Otherwise it makes me want to vomit. Apparently sourdough is also better for not causing blood sugar spikes, and is also dry so it absorbs vinegar better, but we don’t tend to keep it around. They also don’t make subs with it at either of the locations I usually get them.
The long and short of all of this is that now I have an excuse to drink vinegar, which I like.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. Have a safe journey until we meet again.