Here’s hoping Jess doesn’t become that player with gold fever who ends up screwing over the group on something major (like blowing the one time Wish to get 15K gold instead of getting everyone permanent necrotic resistance).

Does anyone else call that player “The Haley” at their gaming table?

We called him Susan, as in Sue Isside. The flaming idiot, ran up to the dragon and … Stabed it …
in the foot ,…
a dagger, … and we all died. The whole group. The DM’s girlfriend, me, his brother, his best friend, all of us, and everyone. And pissed off the DM.
Sue didn’t play with us much after that.

Ours is ‘Bergel’. The guy plays a gnome named that in one of the other games. Being that it’s so close to ‘burgle’, it seems appropriate.

Calling it now, she looks for rich people on the road wearing lots of bling on their hands and then cuts their hands off instead of Lann’s…. And she will somehow roll a 1 and cut off his other hand anyway.

That’s a thought- can you be an ambidextrous sword-fighter, in D + D?

Well in 3.0 they had a feat for that called Ambidexterity, which was a prequisite for two-weapon fighting (often called TWF) but they removed it (or amalgamated it into TWF) for 3.5 because it was, quite frankly, bloody cumbersome.

Personally, I would rule it that you can be ambidextrous but you’re still going to have the associated penalties for two-weapon fighting (which are detailed quite nicely in the 3.5 player’s handbook).

Pathfinder follows the same TWF rules as 3.5 (it’s based on 3.5 and is often referred to as 3.75) in case you’re wondering. I’m not familiar enough with 5e to comment so I won’t.

Or she can just kiss their hands, sucking up the gemstones (just like Little John in the Disney animated version of Robin Hood).

Also, per the strip title: when I worked at a high school, one of the kids literally had the middle name of “Danger.” (I know this authoritatively, since I had to input each student’s personal data into several different data systems.) Always hoped I would meet his parents, but it never happened.

This reminds me of the time my group and I not only pissed off the major quest-giver the DM had set up for the 1st half of the campaign, pissed him off to the point that he would not reasonably speak to us ever again, but we ALSO killed the characters he had planned to be the villains for that time as well… and we did it in the first play session. Needless to say, the campaign ended there.

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