Well, I went to the doctor &, basically, she thought that all of my symptoms are caused by anxiety. Honestly, I think that some of it is legitimate & physical, & it feeds into the anxiety, but I’m not the expert. My blood doesn’t have too much iron in it at the moment, nor has it for over a month at least, so the cpap is properly oxygenating it while I sleep. I went ahead and went back to the local chiropractor. It had been two years since I had last been, which was surprising to me. He was able to manipulate my neck, which seemed to help with some of my dizziness, and lower spine, which seems to have alleviated some of the problems I was having with my bowels. The doctor gave me some antibiotics just to be safe because of my foot and the infected feeling in my ears and jaw. We’ll see how it feels after a couple of days. She wasn’t sure about giving me anxiety medication since I react so badly to them, and it disrupts my life so much when they don’t work right. She suggested counseling, but I don’t know how I’m going to make that work. I’m not against the idea, but it’s a big hassle. Anyway, I’m just going to try and cope for now until I can do something.
Additionally I think they doctor has a skewed idea of my relationship with my mother. I always have someone come with me to the doctor because after my foot problems I sometimes pass out and don’t like going far without someone I trust. I don’t like potentially leaving my safety to the care of strangers. I think it’s a good idea to go to any medical situation with someone who knows you just in case something happens. Considering that the doctor’s office can’t even seem to convey simple information within its own walls I don’t think it’s weird or foolish to take an accountabilibuddy along. I mean, I lived on my own for years. Before I got sick I did all the normal things people do, but since my body won’t regulate my own temperature properly anymore I can’t just wander around all over the place. It’s better than it was, but if I’m too cold and too hot for too long it’s an issue. It’s getting better, but slowly. So fucking slowly. I can at least tell when I’m too cold now. For a couple of years I felt hot regardless of the actual temperature, so I always thought I was fine until I suddenly was too cold.
Anyway, I’m still screwed up, but I’ll get by.
Since I was in town I went to Gamestop. I got Dragon’s Crown used for the PS3, since I’ve always wanted to try it. It’s very pretty and a lot of fun, if a little messy. Reminds me of the old four player arcade games. I waited years until it was really cheap because I know I’m probably not going to get to play it a lot, but I’ll get my $10 out of it at least. It’s a beautiful game with a really strong sense of style, plus it feels like a real D&D kind of game. The voice acting of the narrator really helps sell the premise. I’m glad you can fill your party with AI players, since I doubt I’ll ever be able to get a group of people to play with me.