1792 The Sad Place.

The pets who love me the most always act like I’m somehow punishing myself by bathing. They stand anxiously outside and look longingly at me if I open the door to talk to them.

I guess I haven’t really updated any of you in a real way for a while now. Physically and emotionally I’m in a very bad place. The holiday season is so culturally unhealthy already that combining it with almost losing my grandmother and Solomon’s death really doubled down on the stress. Throwing in the Patreon debacle, the power cord incident, and all the other stuff that has been building up over time I’ve slipped down significantly in my ability to cope with my anxiety and depression. I’ve gone along relatively well for a few years as far as mental health is concerned, but with the further reduction of contact with actual humans my focus has been shifting back inward, which is just not good. There’s also the issue of my weight, the terrible increase in my allergies, and upheaval of my sleeping arrangements. I’m in a bad place, but whenever someone talks to me I feel like I’m being silly and they unconsciously, or deliberately, contribute to that. I’m at my worst when I’m on my own, so I’m the only one who really sees it apart from people who read my venting on social media. I’m grateful for that at least. I can’t imagine what things would be like if I couldn’t get any kind of human connection when I’ feeling isolated to the point that I almost can’t cope.

I’ve been trying to raise the humidity in my area in hopes that it will relive some of the allergy problems, but it’s so insanely dry out here it’s like spitting on a frying pan. The other day mom broiled some meat before she left and it was the first time I got sleepy in a way I recognized as normal in months. The moisture from it came into my room via the vents apparently. I’m going to get a humidifier like the one my sister has for my nephew as soon as I can. I’ve never seen one that was so quiet. I think it might help in a small space. I almost ordered one that was marked down, but I hesitated and it went back up the next day, so I’m going to wait it out again.
I think the dryness is partially responsible for the spots in my left eye that are almost constant now. I think my cpap blows into that eye while I sleep and then it never gets the proper level of moisture because of allergies and the lack of humidity. The spots move so they are probably dead cells floating inside my eye, which can be caused by that. I’ve tried eye drops but I just can’t use them often enough to offset the dryness I guess.

I’ve been more polar in my moods than I have been in a long time and it’s almost assuredly down to the insane levels of stress this year has produced across every aspect of life. Fro president pumpkin right down the line. There aren’t any lulls in it anymore. Every day is a fresh disaster that no one can fix. Or at the very least I can’t do anything to affect real change. Everything feels like it’s careening out of control from the moment I wake up to the moment I manage to fall asleep for no more than 4 hours at a time, and there’s not enough content in the world to distract me anymore.


I often spray bottle train my cats, and once, after a particularly wet session with one cat who could not understand why I didn’t want him on my counters where I prepare food, I went in to take a shower. Upon opening the shower door to exit it I saw both cats sitting in the middle of the room, eyes wide, and looking as astonished as cats can look. I guess that they were wondering what I did that I had to go spray myself.

But at least the cats never got on the counters again… when I was home.

I know most cats respond to the spray bottle, but my last cat….

He just sat there on the table staring death at me while I emptied the bottle on him one spray at a time. That’s when I “invented” the toss-em-against-the-wall method. After a couple weeks he got the idea.

I’m not a cat person, but I’ve used a water pistol on errant dogs. Usually works. But I had one puppy who took it as great fun and loved having the water shot down his throat. He was like that his whole life. Reach for the water pistol and he’d be there, mouth wide open, tail wagging, in anticipation.

Let me start out by saying.. I love your comic.. As 50+ male that once worked at WallyWorld for several months.. I can really identify with you’re characters..

Hope that the eye drops you are using are the NON medicated kind.. Straight saline or Sustain Gel.. Not the ones that say “Removes Redness” as those are not good for your eyes..

Get the humidifier as soon as possible.

Take care of yourself.. Always looking forward to your next post..

Put the humidifier on your Amazon wish list. You need it NOW.

I did, but I can’t find the listing now. I thought I saved it, but I guess I didn’t.

The one that now shows up in your list is the version that isn’t available for 1 to 2 months…

It’s also the half-gallon version. The one-gallon version is also available:

OK, should arrive Friday. Hope it works for you.

That’s very kind of you. I get paid in a few days. I can compensate you then if you like.

It’s a gift, man, accept it!

You, sir, are a stellar human being. I wish I could shout such a small comfort for Jackie. All I can do is offer virtual hugs from far away.
(For the demographic record, I am a 50+ woman. I am mostly distinguished from a 50′ woman by my distinct lack of attacking. Sorry.)
Also, my cat is offended if I take a shower without him being present, curled up purring on the bathmat.

I hope things get better for you in this new year, you deserve it man you really do, i know what its like going through depression its one of those “hidden” illnesses that people dont see or want to see sometimes, that said we are all here for you and wont let you become estranged from the rest of humanity :)

I know you’re going through some tough time, remember to take the time to take care of yourself. Too often the people who need self-care the most don’t do it. We care about you and want you to feel better.

Hey man, it sucks that you have so much to deal with right now. I’m glad someone was able to get that humidifier for you. Dunno if you’ve already looked for solutions to fix the cpap, but this thread talks about the issue you’re having, with a variety of suggestions from mask liners to swim goggles. http://www.cpaptalk.com/viewtopic/t106560/air-blowing-in-eyes.html
I’m part of a couple Facebook groups for people with disabilities similar to mine; I don’t know if you have support of this type but it can really help even just to vent to people who understand. In the meantime remember you’re still valuable and worthy as a person regardless of your health issues.

i do read your social media stuff, at least twitter… and i can feel your struggles… they are real, you feel what you feel, and i am sorry people don’t get that. as you can see from others above, you may live alone, but you aren’t alone… we are here. baby steps towards the light, be gentle with you!

HOLY SHIT I FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH THE COMIC! Discovered it thanks to guttersniper and I gotta say it got in my top 3 fav webcomics since the first pages, just took me 3 days to catch up and I have to say almost every page was a delight, I love the dialogue for it, the geek references and the characters, as someone who worked in a convinience store for a brief period of time I can relate with most of the things you show, I also love how you write your life below each picture, I didnt read them all but I found pretty interesting those I did, gotta ask though, who is the Teen you always tall about? And what is garden?

The Teen is Jackie’s cousin, who was living with his family. ‘Garden’ refers to Garden City, KS, where he previously lived. (Correct me if I’m wrong, please.)

That is correct. Additionally, the reason the The Teen came to live with us is that her father died the day after xmas that year and her mother had a seizure that left her brain without oxygen for long enough to give her permanent short term memory loss.

Man…that’s rough, I’m sorry. I’ll have to go back to check his story then, hope everything is better for him and for you too, I was going for a depression season a while back but I got some medicine for it, I wouldn’t say is a magical fix but it’s helping me realize sometimes things won’t go as we want, and that’s okay, the important thing is keep moving forward, cheer up buddy :)

Long time reader first time commenting. I keep seeing your comic advertised and one day when I had caught up on my other series I clicked the image of carol in baseball get up. Right off I was hooked on how many of the characters seemed so familiar and resembles people I knew. You put very real thoughts and feelings in your comic and it’s part of what keeps me coming back, I just have to know what’s happening to these people. I was going through a rough time with work as well and reading this helped me better deal with it. I hope you are able to feel better I’m not to good with words on things like that but I send my support and voice to say you are important, you matter, and to remind you that it’s ok to feel like sh**, we still know you’re cool as fuck. Keep up the good fight!
And thanks for the comic, it really is awesome and I look forward to more escapades from the gang.

I am all too familiar with that careening feeling of which you speak. Add to that the impression of being at the center of a whirling vortex that is sucking you both around and down. I felt that for about the first four months after I was laid off.

2016 and 2017 were bad years for most all of my contacts, with the exceptions of my two best friends. They are a married couple I’ve known for perhaps 15 years. He’s a State employee, a Judicial Marshal; she works for a lawyers’ office. Talk about job security.

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