1698 Cagey.

I feel like the partnership between Evrina and Ramon was not fully mapped out before they started it. If Evrina truly was sent to him by god then he may yet come to regret the prayers that caused it.

I finally finished listening to the last Game Of Thrones book that has come out so far. Excepting the one that’s about the history of the world anyway. The series so far ends a little before the end of the previous season of the show, so I’m not sure how close the two things are going to run from here on. I have to say, the books are so much better than the show. The show does a good job in many ways capturing the general feel of the books, but it falls down in several ways. The greater emphasis on the sex for a start. There is sex in the books but it’s part of things in a ways that doesn’t dominate the scenes the way it does in the show. There are also many more characters with far more nuanced goals. A few characters are deleted, or rolled together into new versions of existing ones for the show, which is a shame. Some of the best characters have very small parts in the show and some of the less important ones have far expanded ones. In particular Barristan Selmy is a huge influence in the books but he’s mostly glossed over in the show. It’s really unfortunate because his arc deals with a lot of aspects of aging that aren’t usually looked at in fiction of this type. That’s also true of Cersei Lannister, although she’s younger and a lot of her character arc is intact. Her character often is used to illustrate how a woman’s perceived value lessens with age in the minds of some. In any event, if you’re a fan of the show I very much urge you to listen to the audiobooks if you don’t have time to read the books. They are a much more richly detailed telling of more or less the same story so far.

listening to audiobooks has helped me feel less disconnected from humanity. It was reaching a point where I was starting to really lose my grasp on the mundanities of everyday life that I use to create. Even though the GOT books are fantasy they are very grounded in the day to day bullshit humans always experience regardless of setting. I had come to a point where I was essentially taking in no new information and forgetting what it is to interact with other people at all. A creator needs to experience the work of other creators and setting aside time to do so is important if you intend to create continuously. I still piggyback doing one thing on top of another but it’s in service of my greater goals at least. It is very difficult to convince myself to take time from my business goals for “fun”. The constant fear of losing everything makes me want to throw myself into comic related activities all the time, which is ultimately detrimental to me mentally and physically. I can work faster now than when I was at my weakest state so little by little time opens up for me to take a second to look around from time to time. I’m still running with no buffer, but it’s not something that keeps me from sleeping the way it might have even 5 years ago. I am confident enough in myself that I know I can make something in time even in the most dire of situations. It’s hardly a solution, but it is valuable in some way. I worry less about everyone abandoning my work than I used to, although still quite a lot, if I’m honest. Just enough less that I’m not shaking myself awake in the middle of the night over it. Little victories slowly adding up over time. That’s how I have to do things. Small wins in the face of huge failures.