1172 Appliance.

by

The Teen had a choir concert on Monday, so her sister came to see it. After it was over the Teen convinced her sister to stay the night. I was enlisted to watch a movie with them, which ended up being The Hunger Games. It wasn’t particularly bad. Certainly watchable at any rate. You just can’t trust the internet for perspective on movies anymore. I’m not saying there weren’t things wrong with it, but the level of shit I heard it getting was far worse than the actual product. I felt like I was supposed to care more about the tributes, but there was never enough time spent on any of them other than the main two for it to really stick. It was another movie where I felt like people who read the book were going to get more out of what was going on.

The Hobbit is like the antithesis of that kind of filmmaking. The cast is so blank they were dumping in shit left and right. To the point that they’re getting 3 movies out of it? two maybe? Whatever. The dwarves in the book are about as memorable as a list of names, apart from Thorin and maybe a couple of others. In any case it’s a significant departure from the source. Arguably.

I was originally perfectly happy to let Dawn and her husband bugger off back to Texas in the original draft of this story. Now, of course, they are going to be around and Dawn doing this makes sense. There’s basically zero chance of Mike hiring her, or him, but by law you can’t refuse an application to someone. At least that’s how it was last time I checked.

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Shit.

Everyone say it with me:
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT!

Indeed.
The cow waste has hit the rotating oscillating device at high velocity. No matter how much you try, you’re still gonna get some on you.

Pisser.

I try not to curse. I will instead say,

it would be less detrimental to the employees of the store, not to mention the store’s longevity as a place of business, if we went with another option. Like giant robot attack.

It is not a curse, it is an obscenity; specifically a vulgarity.

Origin: `scitte’ [Diarrhea].

Actually it’s an Acronym,
you see the funny thing about preindustrial agriculture is that often times the places that needed fertilizer and the places that had fertilizer were not close by, and so said fertilizer need to be transported sometimes by boat.
manure does not like to be mixed with salt water like you would find say in the hold of a wooden ship and it becomes quite a volatile when that happens.
for safety reasons containers of fertilizer needed to be kept higher up and so they were labeled Ship High In Transit or S.H.I.T. for short, this soon became slang for the contents of said containers…

SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Welp, looks like Thomas really needs to start looking at the Help Wanted ads.

Wow.

No.

Just…no.

Nononononononononononononononononononononononono NO.

Look, I know you need work and have a baby on the way but no, no you don’t get to try to get Thomas “back into your life” this way. Especially after 1. you probably realize at this point that he is nowhere NEAR being comfortable around you and 2. THAT SOMEONE HAS ALREADY CONFRONTED YOU ABOUT THIS WHO WORKS IN SAID STORE.

I thought there was a chance to forgive her or see things her way at least despite everything she’s said and/or allegedly done but no. I can’t freaking begin to compound on how un-cool and intrusive this feels.

Man, even Mike can tell that this is a bad idea.

I know! Man, if MIKE knows that this is a bad idea, then you know it should be damn obvious.

You can practically see him flashing back to when Thomas found out she was coming. And you just know he’s thinking about how much trouble he’s gonna be in for this.

I’m starting to think that maybe the ex-girlfriend doesn’t quite have everything as together as she would like to show. I mean, moving back to the same town as your ex? Ooooookay, sure. Getting a job application at the same store as your ex works at? Now you’re just asking for trouble. And if this is the first place that she’s looked at………can you say ‘unresolved issues’?

We still don’t know if the application is for her.

Right?

RIGHT?

*mental breakdown ensues*

we’ve seen how she steamrollers her mental image of people over them.
its not that her image is wrong just that she’s brutal about it.
Likely she’s used to running peoples lives for them now…
which leads to her significant other, like.. to have a job application handed to him…
pre-filled out… poor Beta-man

“I was originally perfectly happy to let Dawn and her husband bugger off back to Texas in the original draft of this story. Now, of course, they are going to be around and Dawn doing this makes sense. There’s basically zero chance of Mike hiring her, or him, but by law you can’t refuse an application to someone. At least that’s how it was last time I checked. ”

Reposting this because people apparently don’t read the author notes.

Here’s the thing, “basically zero chance” does NOT mean “zero chance”. It ain’t over ’til it’s over. Writers live for good red herrings.

Also, this romantic triangle-tension-thing is too milkable for conflict to let go after one (relatively) brief encounter like this.

i have made that face befoe when handing out apps before. its such a shame to waste paper like that on some people but you are correct you cant say no if they ask for one.

I applied at a game store once. I filled out the app and did all that stuff.

On the way back home, I realized I forgot to include my phone number. In spite of how stupid I felt, I called them to let them know my mistake. One of the guys I saw at the counter picked up the phone.

“Hey, I forgot to put my phone number down. Can you put it on there for me?
“Sure”
Phone numbering occurs.
“That was kind of a stupid thing for me to do. Think it will negatively effect my chances of getting hired?”
“Nah. That won’t effect your chances.”

For a moment, I considered asking what it was that did effect my chances. At any rate, that was the moment I knew I’d have to keep submitting applications.

Here’s your application, now you hurry up and fill that out so I can file under g, for garbage. Don’t like that? Oh I’m very sorry I’ll just slide it under n then. Why n you ask ? Short for never never never, but you be sure to fill out another one next week. My bosses do this all the time, only without the honest parts.

Hold on a second; I see some light at the end of this tunnel. First, she’s pregnant and therefore could only work part-time IF Megatainment saw fit to employ her. Second, there’s no way that she could win back Thomas when he has a girlfriend with huge knockers and a hefty sexual appetite. Third, and finally, we have Nina and Carol ready to make her employment a living nightmare!

Let that sink in for a minute…

Don’t think she wants to win him back, and I’m pretty sure, by now, she knows she can’t be Thomas’ friend. She needs a job, her mom’s sick and a baby’s on the way. She’ll probably apply a lot of places, but this seems like the best choice to her. As her husband said, it’s pretty much the only bookstore in town.

We all know Dawnstance went to school with — and went out with — Thomas. Now, she want’s to work with him. Okay, so they have a little history. Let’s hear it for Second Chances.

(* Cue crickets chirping and rolling tumbleweeds. *)

Um, okay, well, as @Crave said,

“There’s basically zero chance of Mike hiring her…”

All rightie, then. Let’s hear it for Zero Chances!

(* Cue cheering and party horns… *)

Mike’s expression in that last panel is priceless. Oh, what a mess that would make if he DID hire her. Fortunately you said there’s basically zero chance of it. Which I’m sure is a relief for Thomas.

cheers,
Phil

“Too late. Our last position was filled by some blond guy with sunglasses. I forget his name. I think it was Wesker.”

There. I fixed the script so everyone can stop freaking out.

What really bugs me is that just before this she was looking down on Thomas and everyone else who worked at the store as not doing anything with their lives by working there but now she wants to work there?

I can’t add anything that no one else hasn’t already said.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t hire her. Please don’t hire her, Mike!

Yeah, just because someone gives you an application doesn’t mean you have any chance of being hired. I know from experience that I got an application once, filled it out on the spot, and then when I came back a week later to inquire about it, I was told “We’re not currently hiring”.

And if the manager makes that face, you can be sure that your application isn’t going to be taken seriously. :P

I would like to see Thomas’s reactions when Mike tells him about that dumbass move Dawn made, though.

Okay, I’ve gotta say something. This comic is amazing as it is. But what makes this comic week after week are the comments. I tip my glass in all of you’s directions. Which probably means I’m doing a lot of spinning and spilling, but nontheless, I’m doing it.

Normally, I’d be surprised and shocked at such a revelation, but I’m on too much of a high from discovering Rosalina is a playable character in the new Smash Brothers game. And I loves her so much.

Comic drama. Whatever. The drama I’m having to deal with is the doggone snowman bingo in ACNL! Seriously. There are only two more spots I can get a number in and still NOT get a bingo! Why do I not have a bingo yet!

It was four days ago that the snowman rubbed it in by saying that I had three lines that were one number away from bingo. If that weren’t enough, he also said that was more rare than actually getting a bingo.

The last part of that whole experience was, if diagonals count for bingo, I actually had four!

It is partially my fault. I did take a break from the game for two days. Basically missed out on 10 possible chances. (Takes 1 day to build a snowman, and four days for one to melt in winter weather.)

Imagine someone says this…

“Thomas better just get with the program! It was his fault she forced her way back into his life again anyway, and besides if he could get over him self maybe he could still be the man she wanted him to be and prove her right, so he won’t feel as bad about her flaunting how much better than him she is.”

…
#asitshouldbe

Hmm, even though you say there’s no chance of her getting hired, that’s a VERY sticky spot for the store to be in, it seems. Regardless of the reason why she’s not getting hired, she’s just potentially put the store in a serious bind where they wouldn’t be able to hire anyone that doesn’t fit Dawn’s current “protected” status without risk of legal action. Maybe I come from a more litigious area than the comic is set in, but not hiring a pregnant woman (and/or not hiring a woman with a family when all other employees are childless) is often used to bring lawsuits against franchised companies–to the point that if one applies and is unqualified or not a good fit for the company culture, a lot of franchises and chain stores (think places with less than 20 employees at the location, like gas stations or small fast food restaurants) will stop hiring until they find someone who fits the same profile to have a better defense against the discrimination lawsuit.

I hope that’s not her angle, I hope she’s not planning that when inevitably they hire another childless employee she screams illegal discrimination and gets a hefty check. She seems simultaneously manipulative enough to do that and oblivious enough to not realize that she’d probably get away with it.

Actually, they don’t have to accept an application from her IF they aren’t actively hiring. Of course, they can’t accept them from anyone else either. A store is allowed to have a policy that they only accept when hiring, but it’s all or nothing.

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