1086 I Liked Your Book.

I got a cheap copy of Ghostbusters the game for the Xbox. I had the Wii version, but I wanted to see what it was like on the stronger systems. I have to say, in a lot of ways the Wii version fits the tone of the game better than the others. The look of the Xbox version is so gritty and real that it is almost too much of a contrast to the writing. It’s not as noticeable in some parts but the darker the game gets the more out of kilter it seems. That said, it looks really great in the scenes where the lighting isn’t trying to be all Call Of Duty. Also, the Wii controls are actually more fun than the Xbox ones. Especially when it comes to slamming stuff. In all important respects however they are the exact same game. It was fun playing both versions. If there was some way to combine the bits I liked I think you could make the perfect game out of them.

More story:

There’s was something weirdly intimate about wiping himself down with the little towel. Although at the same time he wasn’t sure it was more sanitary than stewing in his own juices… That said it certainly felt better and smelled better, so whatever. There was some question in his mind about how thorough he should be with someone else’s cleaning supplies. In the end he decided to keep things above the waist. That said, once he got started he wasn’t shy about getting as clean as possible.

Niona was nearly finished setting up for breakfast when she noticed Julius was still wiping himself down. It was pretty amusing. How this strangely awkward man was supposed to be a locksmith was beyond her. He was now trying to mime having his back scrubbed at Dew Beam who was ecclesiastically trying, but clearly not understanding. When he handed her the cloth she simply looked at it for a moment then made a game of keeping it from him. By the time he had clambered up one of her arms Niona was laughing so hard she was feeling faint. It was distracting enough that Julius was able to retrieve the washcloth and wander back over to the little basin with dignity, or whatever it was he had left. After he finished up he strode casually over to the fire and sat down with as much confidence as he could scrounge up. Niona was on the ground in a little ball, weeping from laughter. At length she was able to compose herself and sit up. Julius was as red a humanly possible, but committed to his charade of casual disinterest. Niona did not make eye contact for a few moments while she adjusted strips of bacon in her pan. Once it was settled in she finally turned to him.

“Are we feeling springtime fresh?” She asked, deteriorating into a fit of laughter before she was even finished.

“As clean as a summer rain…” He replied, slumping forward, giving up all pretense of confidence. Niona eventually composed herself enough to converse naturally again.

“You are very entertaining.” She offered. “I was afraid this trip was going to be dull.”

“I bring a wide range of skills besides my mastery of traps, locks, and what have you.” He replied. “I feel that keeping the party entertained is crucial to morale and eventual success.”

“Well, you’re doing a cracking job!” She grinned.

The rest breakfast was less eventful. Niona’s camping set was far and away better than anything Julius had ever seen. It was practically a civilized meal. How she had managed to lug it all out here was beyond him. For an academic she was in uncommonly good shape was all he could say. Maybe the books she liked were exceptionally heavy. If her range of knowledge was any indication they had to the biggest books in the world. There was virtually no topic she couldn’t speak about. He was beginning to wonder why they needed him at all. Niona seemed more than capable of understanding even complex mechanical locks, and disarming fiendish traps. Maybe he was just the spare.

After the best outdoors meal he’d ever had the little band trekked to a high point and tried to see if anyone was coming their way. The most anyone could see was birds being disturbed here and there, but it seemed to be coming closer. If it was people they were making good time.

It was approaching noon by the time their suspicions were confirmed. A dark haired elf with a hawkish nose strode haughtily into camp. He looked harried, but determined to take control of the situation. His bearing suggested he was of noble birth, but he was dressed in a manner that would have looked at home on Julius. His armor was well worn and leather mostly, dyed a sad blue green. At his side was a slim, thrusting, sword breaker, and there appeared to be a violin case slung across his back.

“Hello Regalius.” (reh-gay-lee-us) Chirped Niona. His scowl had fallen on Julius and hardened considerably, but upon hearing Niona’s voice it melted away as if he’d never even laid eyes on him.

“Niona!” He exclaimed. “You beat us here. Even with your disability you manage to shame me again!”

“Disability?” Julius mumbled at her.

“He means my lineage” She snorted. “Backhanded is the only kind of compliment he’s familiar with.”

“I meant no offense, dear lady!” Regalius interjected.

“It’s okay.” Niona smiled. “You’re so amazing you can be offensive without even trying.”

I added a tab at the top of the page called FICTION. It’s all the story bit in one place. The cutpaste breaks the formatting so some of it looks odd.


It’s official, Thomas’ Ex is clueless as can be. I can’t wait to see her reaction to how Thomas REALLY feels about her.

Wow, seeing Nina being this cold…

Not even Reggie gets such a cold shoulder!

Okay, after looking at the comment last page, I was wondering if that was me, but seeing the comment here, it is me. No wonder I’m so confused, I kept bouncing back and forth between raven and sorreah.

Wow, talk about magnanimous! Nina could have given her both barrels but instead shows cool restraint and even offers a compliment! The world needs more like Nina! (and Carol and Jo!)

I’m digging the icy cold Nina. Just nice and polite enough to be civil, but basically letting Constance/Dawn know that she really doesn’t think much of her personally.

her facial expression and attitude hints at a “crouching weeb, hidden bitch”… or is it just me that thinks that?

something tells me there’s a side to her we aren’t seeing yet.

Oh – I think we are well aware of this side of Nina. She is very protective of her friends (and Thomas is definitely her friend). You may remember how she bitch-slapped Reggie and gave him a bloody nose way back in comic 399 after ol’ Reggie had almost started a fight with Ed (obviously Ed had already scored at least “friend” status with Nina by then).

I was actually pondering about dawn, sorry. :/

Ok – that does make sense. And I do get a vibe that Dawn might be a little self-centered. She certainly ignored how uncomfortable she was making Thomas. Her comment about “Well, fondly by his standards” might be interpreted as a little snide – especially when paired with her expression in the second panel. And I agree that her expression in the fifth panel looks a bit like she is miffed at not being told she won’t be getting an explanation of why information about Thomas is not being shared – note the angry down turned eyebrows – so, no nSpence, you are not the only one who thinks that Dawn may have another slightly hidden side that will make it more clear why Thomas has residual issues related to her.

Honestly, the more I think about the whole relationship thing, the more I think it’s that people are railing against Dawn on the major basis that the comic is following Thomas. I think it might that Thomas might just be sort of underplaying his own part in their breakup whenever he talks about it. It could be that Thomas’ own already seen personality issues were what really pushed them apart, but Dawn was the one to break away to pursue her own interests, leaving Thomas with his bitterness and anger towards her after she “broke his heart.” Just by virtue of following Thomas, Dawn became the “villain” of this little arc, you know?

No, I don’t think that’s it. I really think it is based on what we are seeing of Dawn so far. She obviously does not care that she was making Thomas uncomfortable, and she has a sense of entitlement to know about Thomas….apparently she does not know that she broke Thomas’ heart. And I have not made her to be the villian in my mind, I always give characters a chance, but let us just say she is not endearing herself to me so far.

No, I agree with Geitz perfectly. From what the story has told so far it disturbingly reminds me of my last relationship. Guy loves Girl, Girl loves guy. Girl leaves Guy because she sees it as necessary. Girl still loves Guy, but not in the way Guy still loves Girl. She even still probably wanted to remain friends and saw no reason why they couldn’t. But Thomas (and me) are people who can’t remain friends with former partners, because it’s a personal hell. Loving someone like that, especially for a long time only to have them leave. There is no evidence that Dawn (coincidentally also the name of my girl who killed me) has anything but kind feelings for Thomas. But it’s not something Thomas can deal with. As he said earlier, watching someone you love move on warps you. Love becomes bitter hatred, one conflicting within themselves because even through the hatred there will still always be the part that loves them.

In short, Dawn isn’t trying to hurt Thomas. She isn’t being vindictive. She is just happy to see an old friend. She moved on already. It’s Thomas that hasn’t. Obviously she still doesn’t understand how much it hurts him, but that would go to lack of understanding rather than being mean.

That’s something I’ve been thinking about for a bit. I’m honestly not sure. On the one hand, she’s really not treating Thomas badly right now. On the other hand, Nina’s being uncharacteristically cold to her, which at least implies that something big went down between Dawn and Thomas way back when. My guess right now is that whatever happened when they broke up was downplayed in Dawn’s mind while Thomas has dwelt on it and built it up in his.


You know, I really need to cut-and-paste these story fragments into a single coherent eBook I can sit and peruse on my tablet. I like it so far — it has that sightly off-kilter humor some of the better Sword and Sorcery stuff has, with a D&D-like twist — gamer all the way, but darned well done.

You do need an editor, though. I’ve been reading a lot of the Smashwords fantasy stuff lately (some of it is really good), and I’ve noticed that grammar, punctuation and spelling — even inadvertent heterographs (oh, Google it) show up frequently, and this story is no exception. Is suppose I could WordShop the completed story if you like.

This isn’t even a rough draft. It’s a raw first draft. It shouldn’t be judged as a finished story is judged.

The big thing I like is the descriptions. My stories always start out a little spare. I have to add a lot as I iterate through them.

I am in awe of Nina right now. That was vicious, venomous and the poison won’t kick in till later. Perhaps much later.

The ex is a tad self-absorbed, ne?

I’m really liking the story. I can’t help but think this would make a really great script for Jo’s film!

Moto kanojo no kuse ni namaiki da ne ;)

Though I’m really curious as to what the exact trigger was that ended their relationship.

Uh-oh, you forgot to draw the stripes on Constances scarf. Oh, and why are some people calling her Dawn? I must be forgetting a plot point.

I wondered the same thing, but on the last page, she says “You know my *real* name…” I take that to mean that ‘Contstance’ is perhaps a pen name perhaps, or a middle name?


“Constance Willowbrooke” is her pen name.

I… may have melted bits of my brain asking the same question before I consulted google to find the page. Maybe.

Damage Control is still getting back to me on that.

Easy, Nina. Righteous though you feel, you probably still only have T’s side of the story, and that’s not enough information.

Frankly, Thomas seemed a little off-put by how friendly Dawn was to him. I imagine he was expecting coldness or snootiness (and that latter would fit, based on her expression in panel 2 of this page), but she was remarkably warm toward him. He seemed genuinely off-balance because of it. And her pregnancy. As Carol said, it’s rather humanizing in a character that, seen through Thomas’ eyes, is more of a demon.
Setting aside the debate raging above, about whether or not Thomas’ interpretation of Dawn is justified or if he’s just overreacting, there is something more important to note: All of the other characters, (with the possible exception of Nina) only know OF Dawn, though the lens of Thomas, and he has made perfectly clear that he is not fond of her. That’s not to say his opinion is fair, or that his memories of her are uncolored by his emotions. In fact, it would strongly indicate the opposite–even somewhat innocent or accidental slights would be interpreted as malicious in that state of mind.
Essentially, it’s possible (and I’m choosing not to take a side here) that we’re being taken in by Thomas’ observational bias. Only time (and Crave) will tell if Dawn is actually a bitch, or just someone who Thomas hates.

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