770 Winning.

In case you forgot what Carol and Wes are talking about, or maybe stumbled upon the comic today, the setup for this was here: /archive/690-turnabout-test/

The other day Manekochan and I got to talking about random stuff and one of the things was food rules. Even if you aren’t picky I suspect you still have preferences about how food should be prepared and presented. Here are some of mine:

I’m not as picky as I was as a kid, but I still have certain food rules. No bugs, including sea bugs. No fish. That’s more of a guideline. I will eat fish if I’m starving I just detest it. I have tried octopus and stuff. Me no likey. No Italian stuff. I hate tomato sauce. I’m not sure what spice it is that Italians always use that I hate but it’s always in tomato sauce. I even hate it on pizza. I’ll eat it but I try to squeeze it out if there’s enough of a layer that I can tell it’s there. No wet bread. This includes dumplings and things that have gravy poured on. I’ll eat them only if I am in control of the sauce. Like the dip sandwiches I’ll eat because you do it right away instead of letting it deteriorate. If bread is wet enough long enough I will barf if I put it in my mouth. Those are the main rules. I like food to be dry in general. Like when turkey is dry to the point that people start to complain, that’s when I say it’s done. Even soups I’ll try to boil down until they get thicker. With only a few exceptions.

There are more than that, but those are the only ones I could think of at the time. Anyway, it got me wondering what sorts of food rules everybody else has. It doesn’t have to be how it’s made either. For example, I like to eat with tiny silverware. Smaller spoons, forks, & whatnot. Get me? i only like having salad in a bowl, not on a plate. I like to eat certain foods usually consumed with a spoon with a fork instead. I like my cup in the upper left quadrant of my eating area. I don’t want sweet foods to touch savory foods unless I say so. No applesauce next to the beans. In fact I’d rather the applesauce be placed in a bowl.

So tell me your rules. I want to see how different you all are.

39 Comments

Dumplings made from bread? Yeah, that sounds bad, because they aren’t dumplings. I’m the opposite of you; crunchy is, if you aren’t eating nuts, bad. Toast is burnt bread. And I like nuts, but no nuts in food; I hate eating a chewy brownie then choking on a peanut.

Carol ftw.

As for the question, I’ll probably eat anything once, unless it comes from the sea…then it better be Tuna, king crab, or shrimp.
Also, I follow the golden rule that if you DON’T tell me what it’s made off, then I’ll probably eat it because when it comes to certain foods, ignorance IS bliss.

Fair is fair. I, too, will post my rules:
My only rules are no beans or peas, (those are the hard ones that I only break in front of very nice company that made me food) no mayo, no onions, no pickles (these are broken as I feel like it). I don’t like a lot of syrup on anything. No mixing of things– like, DO NOT put pepper on my bacon or I will fucking kill you; do not put honey on my bacon or ham; that way also leads to death. Bacon is not to be fucked with. I don’t like smoked things. I can taste the smoke and I don’t like it.
No things within things– no nuts, chips, marshmallows, etc within brownies or cakes. Cookies are fine. This I will tolerate, but I try to eat around them. No filling unless I know about it. Nothing is worse than biting into something and finding out it’s full of suck. Things are good enough on their own. I don’t need other things added, mucking it up. Unless that thing is ranch, bacon or cheese.

(Honestly, add cheese to a brownie or a piece of cake and it’s awesome… I don’t know why. Keep your American cheese the hell away from my apple pie, though.)
To add to this, I also hate American cheese unless I’m eating a grilled cheese sandwich. I will eat just about anything, but I have little “things” when I eat out. If I’m paying for it, I want it to be the way I want it. There is something called the “Peppered cow” incident which I won’t go into but will instead tease you with the following two comics: http://manekochan.comicgenesis.com/d/20050415.html
http://manekochan.comicgenesis.com/d/20050417.html
There is also something called the “Sliced Cheese” incident. I assure you, they require capital letters. At any rate, I don’t like processed cheese and protest it being put on my burgers. I went about asking this in the wrong way and, instead of saying “Is it processed cheese?” I asked, “Is your cheese sliced?”. Really, I meant pre-sliced and had to clarify this asking if the cheese was wrapped in plastic or if it was cut from a block there in the restaurant. As it turns out, it was pre-sliced but not processed, so that was okay but I will never live that down and every time anyone brings up food and pickieness, that story is inevitably brought up.
The thing is, I totally get an awesome meal there. I ask them to put the seasoning salt or whatever it is they put on the steak on my burger, get the toppings I want on it, and then top that off with a slice of apple pie (which, there, is like a third of a pie), no caramel and vanilla ice cream on the side. The burger is the best one I get out of the house, the pie (which is another thing altogether because I’m very particular about my apple pie– I like it slightly tart without any of that syrupy crap in it, a little bit of sugar on top) I eat half of and save the rest for breakfast later.
Caramel, by the way, falls into the syrup category. Too sweet. Blech.

Forks and spoons, I like short handled forks. Tines don’t matter. Spoons, I like small, wide spoons. When buying spoons, it’s imperative to try them out (no, really…). Some of them cut the inside of your mouth. Forks can cut into your hands. It’s good to test them thoroughly. I’m not advocating sticking some department store bacteria magnets in your mouth, but run your hand along them and make sure they’re not too sharp. I’ve had this happen more than I like.
Knives, I just like ’em sharp. :) Soup, I got in the habit of eating in giant coffee mugs so I can eat as much as I want with the spoon and then drink the rest of it (Japan habit from all that Miso soup). Chopsticks, I like wooden but not too old (they get really slick when they’re old which, I can assure you, sucks, especially if you’re demonstrating at a tea ceremony how easy chopsticks are to use and you drop your whateverthehellitis cake thing and it rolls away on the floor…). The plastic ones are a little too slick sometimes, but I do have a pair that I use. My roommate gave them to me in Japan and they’re very cute. I get a little nostalgic when I use them.
My Polish friends in Japan taught me how to eat rice the awesome way– you make rice, get some strips of seaweed and a bowl of soy sauce, you dip the seaweed in the soy sauce to make it soft, lay it on top of the rice and squish it into a little mini sushi roll thingie with your chopsticks. I eat rice like this a lot. I don’t think it’s too common here in America.
For tea, one weird thing is that I got used to drinking it hot. I never really liked tea until I started drinking it hot. I love it hot and I don’t mind whatever crap is put in it. Between my English roommate and my Japanese friends I learned not to be afraid to just dump tea leaves into my tea. It all stays on the bottom anyway when you drink it. You’re left with this gunk afterwords that, apparently, is good mulch or something and you throw it in your plants… o_o; So, anyway, drinking tea leaves and eating miso soup in which you find crawdad heads (“You got the head! Oh lucky!” “…What?… O-O;”) kind of prepared me for finding/tolerating weird crap in my food.
Except for pudding. God damn pudding… >_<; (That's the "full of suck" story, by the way. Arriving in Japan after a 14 hour flight, a one hour commute, a 10 minute walk on a 40 degree rainy day, all I wanted was a roll… and someone offered me one… unbidden, even! She was waiting in my new apartment to greet me and gave me rolls! My savior! I bit into it only to find it full of pudding… I didn't know what to do. I just sat there with it in my mouth until I finally swallowed it. Come of that, the same woman later offered me some rum candy which I had no idea was really full of rum. I bit it in half and it went all over … everything… I think she liked filled things… )
So there you go. Most of my food oddities. Or a fair amount of them.

@manekochan —

Okay — I’ll make a point never to cook for you, at least without consulting your list.

–Perfesser

Generally speaking, I will eat anything once. So, if it’s the first time, you’re safe. :)

Food rules:

1. Generally, no seafood. Somewhat negotiable.
2. Fat is ew. On chicken and on beef.
3. Nix on all lone eggs that aren’t scrambled. Eggs are weird.
4. There must be two or three portions-worth ready for me, if possible, especially after work.
5. Bread pudding is weird.
6. No burnt crap. Unless it’s artfully salvaged.
7. Mayo is ew, unless used as a x-salad filler, where x = some sort of canned meat for people.
8. Light on the jalapenos. I’m a lightweight.
9. Please, do not leave wet bread in the sink.
10. Rich (too much sugar) foods give me headaches.
11. FOOD RULES!

So, yeah. Food.

Unwise, Wes is.

I am a terribly picky eater. Awfully so. ATROCIOUSLY so. Basically, it boils down to Hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, chicken, and steaks. I don’t vary from that much except for snacks or occasionally a Philly Steak sandwhich (Just Meat, Mayo, and bread. No cheese, no lettuce, no mushrooms.)

That’s… about it. It’s pretty bad that it’s way easier to list what I will eat than what I won’t. Oh well, what can you do?

My rules? No raw celery or mushrooms. Not too wild about super-spicy things. Um… that’s about it really. I love eating and experiencing new foods, so I don’t like restricting myself. :)

I don’t eat ground meat… not since the tour in elementary school when I watched them grind it. Ew. And I do not like tomatos, or tomato based food (except ketchup), so if I eat italian I’ll have alfredo sauce. I will eat pizza, but I’m more likely to nom on cheesy bread sticks. Nooot a big fan of veggies, I eat ’em smothered or chopped into miniscule bits only. And on the just odd range… I eat the crunchy parts off of popcorn, then put the soft parts in a li’l bowl, and save it for last.
My husband… will not eat anything fowl (chicken, duck, turkey), will eat ham but doesn’t like it. Won’t eat NON-ground meat. Prefers his veggies raw and super crunchy. His diet is normally spaghetti-o’s, pizza, and dorritos.

Not a food rule, but a eating quirk; cannot stand bent tines on a fork. Have been known to straighten forks at restautants

Seafood is generally a no-no for me. Tuna is fine, salmon to a MUCH lesser extent, and I’ll have shrimp and lobster if they are prepared in certain ways. I cannot stand Seafood mixed with other things in the process. I normally love Lo Mein, but I find that shrimp thrown into the stir fry makes the whole flavor sorta tainted, and depending on additives, it smells rancid and diminishes my initial love of Lo Mein. Smell plays a big part for my food.

I despise cooked vegetables in ANY other way then in a stew or soup. Steamed or grilled or fried vegetables are disgusting. (Potatoes are a tuber, and thus exempt from my statement.)

Texture, texture, texture! Texture is the biggest turn-on/turn-off point for food with me. If something doesn’t feel right in my mouth, it is exiled from my diet and shunned for the rest of my life. The textures I hate the most are rubbery, soggy ones that feel like jellified lard, and has the consistency of Jello. I prefer crucnhy and crispy.

Speaking of crispy, My fruit need to be crisp and fresh. Juicy. When I bite into an apple, I want to hear that loud crunch sound that isn’t made by soft or bruised flesh, and all my fruit I prefer chilled. It brings the flavor out in my exp.

Food rules?

If it looks like they’d serve it on a reality show to get the contestants to gross out, I won’t eat it.

That is the only rule. I think you’ll find it covers quite a few bases.

I’m another for the “no seafood” category. My body thinks it’s rotten meat, and even the smell can completely kill my appetite.

I dislike raisins in any context, and find other people’s obsession with putting them in baked goods a little frustrating. Same goes for peaches and mangos.

I can taste when there’s corn syrup in juices and sodas, and find it unpleasant. It’s like drinking sweetened canola oil.

Mushroom gravy is one of the most disgusting excuses for food ever invented. Mushrooms themselves are cool-to-awesome, depending on what kind & how they’re cooked, but mushroom gravy is almost like someone somewhere said to themselves “You know what I’d like for dinner? Vomit. But I can’t get anyone to give me any, so lets see if I can cook up a reasonable substitute.”

I grew up in a major southern border city of the US where real Mexican food can be found on just about every block, so visiting other parts of the county where people’s notions of Mexican food are… a bit muddled and poor is a cringe worthy experience. The TV commercials for that stuff alone are a weird mixture of hilarity and sorrow.

Speaking of which, everyone has a different tolerance level for spiciness, but for Ghidorah’s sake, if you provide different grades of spiciness on your menu, or if you make different levels of hot sauce, don’t nerf the entire spectrum from the top down because some idiot specified something spicier than they could handle and then complained. If nine star spicy is too hot, then next time he can order five star instead, and if the sauce marked “hot” is too hot, then next time he can use the stuff marked “mild” instead. That’s the entire point of having different levels in the first place. I’m sick of restaurants redoing their scales so I can’t get anything the way I like it because some arse thought it was someone else’s fault they couldn’t hold their capsaicin.

My rules are basic: I’ll eat anything so long it’s been between the hands of a real cook or of a friend I know to be serious about cooking or of mine. That means no fast food for me except kebaps (it’s clear to see why: the meat is the same in the whole country, and there are not many additive, and if the bread is housemade, then it’s made by a cook). If the guy who does it hasn’t learnt it from a cook school, or from his grandmother from pakistan/india/russia/italia/spain/greece/turkey/etc… if it’s not traditional, I’m not sure to want to eat, cause I can make better and cheaper with the same ingredients. I can eat any type of meat or fish or bug, raw or cooked, eat any vegetable or mushroom, raw or cooked. But I can’t eat anything too “industrial”. I mean non-housemade jelly, non-housemade candy, non-traditional processed cheese (processing cheese is very old, see what is “cancoillotte” for example), in a word, anything that hasn’t the real taste of the thing.

I despise certain vegetables no matter their preparation,tuna is a no-go(which is odd because i distinctly remember liking it as a kid). i HATE pickles, vile nasty things. I prefer any meat i eat to be juicy, medium rare steak MMMMMM

Wow. Many of you all are quite picky eaters. Unless something is undercooked or burnt to an extent I have no problem with anything! I’ve had escargot, frog legs, octopus and sushi of most kinds, oysters and clams (raw and in chowder), lobster, rattlesnake, durian etc. The best things about not being picky is that you can have a good time anywhere and experience all kinds of new flavors. Plus if traveling overseas you won’t offend any native you might be having dinner with.

The one thing I cannot eat is eggplant due to an allergy… even though I love its taste (the reaction wasn’t as bad in previous years, but now if I try it I might die).

Wow… those are some quite interesting rules. You actually managed to say no to everything I’ve eaten in the past two weeks, sans popcorn and candy for movies, I think.

My only general rule is that I dislike chewy foods, specifically tough steak (overcooked porkchops, for example) or fat/tendons left in chicken. Doesn’t always apply, because I love, say, Dots, but that’s about the only “rule” I have. Given the option, I prefer high-processed foods + seasonings (bologna + basalmic vinegrette sandwhiches) when cooking for myself (simple and easy), but real foods if I’m cooking for others. I’ll admit it: I’m a little too Monica for my own good, but people who have been at my table have never found that a terrible thing~

I’m allergic to milk proteins also, but rather than let it bother me emotionally (it did, but only for a couple days after I realized I couldn’t eat ramen, which was a staple of my diet at that point), I pushed myself to learn more about cooking and foods. I’m quite proud to say I make a mean curry (and can tone it down for lightweights without sacrificing flavor much), I’m an excellent sushi chef, and I have acquired an art-like quality to most of my foods because of my allergy. Compensation for inability to eat one thing is the ability to make more things, and make them well.

Oh, and while I love calamari I’m quite picky about it’s preparation, and have no problem sending over or undercooked calamari back 3-4 times if that’s what it takes (if it’s more than that, I’ll order something else and refuse to tip due to poor service: if it’s on your damn menu, learn how to fucking cook it.)

I’ll Eat almost anything thing with tomato sauce on it, but ussally pass on obvious mushrooms, I love shrimp and Tuna’s okay but for the most part fish bores me, as does turkey. I like anything with a little spice but if the spicy description is “4 alarm” It’s a No-No. Also Calamari is just too chewy it looks like it should be spaghetti which could be my problem.

Food Rules…

Well, seafood seems to be becoming the mode today, so I’ll only add that I tolerate certain whitefish types, tuna (canned & ‘fresh’) and certain recipes for shrimp (I’ve lost my fondness for shrimp cocktail), but lobster is revolting and the stinky fish (oily, smelly Snapper Blues!) are out. I’m violently allergic to hard-shellfish (clams, scallops). My third-grade teacher tried to make me eat some clam chowder, couldn’t get out of the way in time and ended up wearing some of it, slightly used. Eww…

I love almost all veggies (including broccoli, Brussels sprouts and artichokes), with some weird exceptions. I never liked eggplant or horseradish much, and lately it turns out I’m allergic to those, too. They turn the inside of my mouth to hamburger. Not that I don’t like hamburger, I just don’t want to be a part of it.

I have a low tolerance for processed soy products. I’d suck at being a VegiNazi — excuse me, a Vegan — because tofu (and eggplant) is bad for me. Soy gives me belly bad luck and brutal and outrageous. Several Christmases past, my sister served soy cracker canapes. Not only was I uncomfortable, lets say I made people around me uncomfortable. I had to ride home with the window rolled down. At Christmas. In Connecticut.

Many in my family can’t digest raw onions. Nasty acid and stomach upset. I know that didn’t come from Dad’s side; he loved liverwurst and onion sandwiches. The crunchier and stinkier, the better.

Now that I’m a Type II (adult onset) diabetic, I have to avoid sweets and carbohydrates. Easy on the starches — < 65 grams/day. Dammit.

–Perfesser

Wow people have a lot of rules.
My rules.

No Pumpkin
No Brussel Sprouts
Tomatoes are the best thing in the world ever. I would vote tomatoes for president. If someone were to ask me “Whats your favorite?” without specifying a category, my answer would be tomatoes.

Food choices say a lot about a person. It’s been really interesting reading people’s comments on the subject. As a preschool teacher I see my students as the pickiest of the picky eaters, and it’s funny thinking about what they’ll take into adulthood. I’ve definitely read some things my four year olds hate in some people’s rules. Here are my food rules:

1. I hate a mushrooms, almost religiously. I think they’re creepy and evil.
2. I don’t like bananas. I think it’s mostly about texture though as I do like banana flavoured things like cake, and banana bread.
3. Any vegetable that is creamed was created by the chefs of hell to torment the living on earth.
4. I don’t like cooked spinach or carrots but love them raw.
5. I hate mayo, on anything or in anything for any reason. I love tuna, and I hate how people ruin it by drowning it in mayo. I also am not a big fan of mustard.
6. I hate it when people pick out the elements they like from a mixed food like trail-mix and then attempt to foist the unwanted elements on others so they won’t feel ab about wasting food.
7. Finally I don’t really like sweet and savory food together. Like sweet sausage, or spaghetti sauce with sugar added. Why do people do that?

I won’t eat kittens. Eating kittens is Wrong, and no one should do it ever.

That’s pretty much it.

Wow. At my house, that kind of finickiness will get you nothing.
My food rule is that if it’s moving, it’s not ready to eat yet.

I have very few food rules. As far as fruits and veggies go, there are almost no commonly eaten ones that I dislike (though onions do need to be cooked, I don’t care for raw ones, and I actually prefer spinach to be raw). As far as meat goes, again, providing it is commonly eaten by some culture, and cannot be considered a companion animal (not horses, cats, dogs or moneys, thanks) I will probably try it. Sea-bugs (Assuming you mean shrimp, crab and lobster) don’t bother me, though I haven’t had lobster I liked, I suspect it was over cooked. I prefer certain fish over others, and prepared certain ways (smoked salmon is awesome, baked salmon, not so much – and nothing beats a fresh caught trout cooked in foil over an open fire at a remote camp site with a dozen other semi-outdoors-y people)

I don’t have a problem with food textures, unless they are unexpected, like the bit of hard gristle in chicken, in which case I will not be able to finish that portion of the meal. I tend to prefer carbs to protein, but could never go vegetarian.

I’ll eat anything once, but if I know that it is it I will be somewhat angry with you if it is a companion animal(dog, horse only for me) other than that it’s pretty much try it once and if it’s horrible avoid it like the plague

Oh no, Wes! You forgot the proverb about fights with women (even verbal sparring like you did with Carol), “You can be right, or you can be happy. Pick one.”

As to the food rules, I know I’m less picky than when I was a kid, when I practically lived off of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle soup.

Nowadays it’s 1) No raw tomatoes in a great amount. 2) Meat must be cooked thoroughly, I’m not getting food poisoning because the food supposedly tastes better undercooked. 3) Unless the hot sauce adds flavor as well, avoid like the plague. 4) The less the meat looks like the animal it came from, the better. If I see eyes staring back at me I get creeped out. 5) Egg casseroles are less appetizing the longer they sit in the fridge. If it’s not gone by the third day, I’m pitching it. 6) Chicken skin is good for cooking, since it keeps the chicken moist, but I’m not going to eat it. 7) Fat on meat is good in small amounts, but too much on a cut and it’s going in the trash or to stray animals. 8) Liver and other organs are offal, and usually taste awful. I don’t mind them being chopped up into tiny pieces to help the turkey gravy and stuffing taste better, but there’s no way I’m going to sit with my mom and enjoy her favorite dish of liver and onions.

Those are all I can think of right now.

Hehe… Poor ‘git is stuck cleaning the washrooms… FOREVER! -insert no button here-

Anyways, been reading for a while now, and hadn’t commented yet… This caught my attention though…

For food: I feel that most foods are fine as prepared… Don’t really care how, though I do prefer pickles on the side rather than in the sandwich… I prefer my steaks nearer rare, or medium rare… Blue is a no way for me though. As for other stuff… I’m a bit obsessive about having my drink above the right corner of a placemat if there is one.

Generally I’m easy going about such stuff though.

I’m not very picky about food, though I won’t eat mayonnaise, sour cream or Brussels sprouts. I always ask for my burgers as rare as the person cooking them is willing to make them. And I frickin’ love onions.

If you told me “as rare as you’ll make them,” you’re getting it back after I sear the outside just out of spite.

Gourds are not food, unless they’re pickled. This includes pumpkin, squashes, and zucchini. Milk is not a beverage for adults. It’s an ingredient. Beyond that, pretty much everything is edible, including a lot of things government recommend against.

I’m on my erstwhile wife’s diet, more or less, because I couldn’t be bothered to cook separate meals for us, and she has difficulty digesting meat including seafood, eggs, and dairy. Some call this diet ‘vegan’, but I do consume honey and I don’t believe it’s right to tell other people what they can and cannot eat – especially when you don’t know how their body handles what foods. I tend to avoid squash/zucchini/pumpkin/okra because of the texture (cooked into things such that the texture isn’t there, and they’re fine). I tend to avoid seaweed because of the MSG (it may be naturally occurring, but I still have a problem with it. And yes, I’ve seen the research that showed that MSG sensitivity isn’t a thing, and I noted that the level of MSG they tested with was about 1/3 of the level of MSG that’s in a standard ¬®serving¬® of seaweed. So either that research was secretly attempting to prove MSG sensitivity isn’t a thing, or someone dropped a ball.) I turn down miso soup, and generally prefer my food to be under about 4,000 Scoville units. I also tend to reject food that tastes bad apart from the spiciness. Oh, and I’m apparently allergic to Quorn and most coffee.

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