737 Doe Eyes.

I’m pretty sick, so if this post gets a little weird bear with me.

Some of this stuff has been gone over in the comments for yesterday’s page, but rather than respond directly I’ll just go over my views here.

As you know I rarely get new games. I like to wait them out till they get a significant price drop. On this rare occasion however I managed to get a new copy of Fable 3 for half price. So I’m actually playing a game that’s in the current cycle. I have enjoyed it very much, that said Fable 3 does several VERY WRONG things.

The thing about DLC is that it should ALWAYS feel like a bonus and NEVER like part of the game that was held for ransom. Fable 3 absolutely violates this rule. The most blatant offense is the dye pack. It has black dye in it, which is the color everyone wants. It should not be something you have to buy separately. It is glaringly petty, and greedy. You make extra weapons a premium item, not something that limits customization in a game that is primarily about customization. That said, black is a shit color since you end up not being able to see yourself in caves. But that’s as may be. The rest of the DLC is pretty reasonable. You can instantly upgrade your dog to the max, which is tantamount to cheating. Needless to say that was my first purchase. The adventure packs are nice expansions that feel like extra content. When you finish Fable 3 you feel like you experienced a complete story and were not cheated out of anything. In fact there are several free weapons you get right off the bat now. They aren’t the greatest, in fact they mostly seem to favor evil, but whatever, they’re free.
Unfortunately the selection of clothing in Fabe 3 is relatively limited, much like in 2. There’s just not enough variation. There’s also a weird thing about hats. If you put on most hats you become bald. That is bullshit. At least stick some hair TO THE HAT, so when you stick it on you still HAVE HAIR. The style of hair available are also pretty sparse, and shit looking if we’re honest. Basically you’re given the ability to look like the regular sclubs. Which is totally what I want to do when I’m a badass hero. Please give me the option to dress up like an ugly whore or a fat merchant. There are a few cool outfits. Much more for the male side than the female though. Basically you end up finding one you can tolerate an wearing it throughout the game.
Another rule that Fable 3 violates is making some of the achievements require gold status Xbox Live. There is game content that I will NEVER be able to access because of this. That bothers me. I should not feel punished for not being able to afford their very pricey service. Now if there’s some kind of cooperative online mode separate from the game itself that’s different. The main game, however, should feel complete. Of course the contents of most of the demon doors is to terrible the only reason to open them is the achievement. I’m still not so obsessed with them that I’m going to stress not being able to 100% any game. There are demon doors in Fable 3 that contain items you can buy IN THE SHOPS ALL OVER THE WORLD FROM THE START OF THE GAME… What the fuck is that about? Why have the damn things at all if the only thing inside is A SUIT I’M ALREADY WEARING!?

I don’t want these criticisms to make it seem like they detracted significantly from my experience or ruined the game in any way. They are annoyances in a game I absolutely enjoyed and was sad about when I finished it. The voice talent is spectacular. Stephen Fry returns as Reaver & Zoe Wanamaker as Theresa. John Cleese is the voice of your, well, subscreen essentially. It’s good that he’s cool because you spend a lot of time going in and out of the damn place. I can’t remember his name but the voice of Walter Beck is awesome. Ben Kingsly is in it… Um, the Shaun of the Dead guy, who is also spectacular. The main cast is just stellar is what I’m saying.

The weapon leveling thing was relatively cool. Some of the requirements are needlessly annoying though. I really enjoyed the gunplay. Mele weapons suffer this time around unfortunately. Magic is pretty wildly powerful, but I still had to gunsling my way out of several situations when spamming magic wouldn’t cut it. Plus magic is kind of boring. The guns were the most fun. My favorite gun is one of the few you can always get, which is nice for replays. Most of the weapons you have available are randomly chosen. Another unfortunate DLC/Xbox Live issue. In order to get all the weapons you have to go to someone else’s game. Bullshit.

I kind of missed the target choice ability from Fable 2, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. I liked that they ditched the stupid orb collection for experience gathering. That was always a stupid idea. Being able to buy land essentially negates any need to search for gold past the second section of the game. Which is sad because there’s nothing much to buy with it once you get it. You do need a lot to save the kingdom and get the best ending though. I was glad I didn’t have to do any shitty grinding to make the budget deficit up. That would have been terrible.

I didn’t understand the obsession with touching people in this game. The dude who came up with Fable really gets some stupid ideas stuck in his head sometimes. Like the new way expressions are used, holding hands, the transformation flourishes… Not quite as cool as growing horns if you act like a dick all the time. At the same time that mechanic always went too far too. I don’t necessarily want to look like Gandalf if I’m super nice to people. Being able to exert some sort of control over that would be better. Maybe make that part of the leveling rather than dye assortments. (Seriously? Learning to dye clothes is a skill I have to level now?) The in game jobs are completely ruined by how easy it is to become a landowner. The only reason to learn a trade is to level up certain weapons. Plus they are essentially crappy minigames. If I wanted to play Guitar Hero I’d FUCKING PLAY GUITAR HERO. I don’t like Guitar Hero so I sure as fuck don’t want to play a shit version of it to level up a sword…

I’m not doing a very good job of explaining how much I loved Fabe 3… You’re just going to have to take my word for it that in spite of all these annoyances I have had a massive amount of fun playing the game.

22 Comments

First: I missed Carol, good to have her back

Now for Fable 3:

Fable 3 was kinda fun, but horribly flawed. Like, I finished it but didn’t save enough money/people because time jumped at such uneven intervals that I failed when I thought I had more time. Anyways, after that, the world was totally empty and I was suddenly poor, no longer king and was divorced by my wife who magically disappeared as did everyone, including shop owners and all that.

That was the point, I fell for that my first time through too. Basically, if you don’t save enough money, you lose one citizen per dollar. Since there was only roughly 5000 people to interact with from the start (not to mention the people you “accidently” kill while playing) unless your short by a dollar, there is going to be a big difference. If you ever decide to play again, remember that the days only advance if you enter the throne room, and the last “day” availible is day 127. You don’t need to enter the throne room at all if you don’t want to. So that gives you infinite amount of time to collect money, buy property and complete side missions.

It’s me. ‘Sup.

I love the facial expressions on this one. They make me smile, especially Thomas’s in the last panel. Kay, bye now.

Attagirl Carol. What’s the betting there’s a nice message for Tom on her console?

As for fable 3… I always played the princess. My weapon combo was an awesome hammer i got from a demon door (I forget which one, but the weapon in it is actually randomised), which had fire and lightning enhancements on it after levelling up, and a pistol. The outfit I wore was the female warrior suit (the one that actually looks like armour) sans helmet. Once I became Queen, I added the royal crown to the armour. Dark red hair in a short cut, and she was actually looking pretty cool. A respectable warrior Queen, none of that frilly dress crap.

Hehee, sorry I forgot to warn you about fable 3. I was gunna mention it when you talked about fable, but i forget why i didn’t. Yea i was horribly disappointed by the demon doors. I think that Lion Heart Studios is in some sort of time warp, where the first game is the one that has years of tweaking and being made perfect, then the next game, its like the studio forgot all of those things. :\

As for your comic, nice to see Carol again, and this isn’t the first time she’s used her “gifts” to get something out of Thomas. ;)

ah fable 3 one of the best games in my opinion of the last year the story was amazing honestly but the decisions didn’t really affect me i had played both male and female my female version ended up being miss fortune from league of legends if you ever heard/played it and my male character was a knight but year kind of a downer of a game when it came to decisions also: WHY no DLC for it?

anyway comic wise does carol just have an arsenal of at her disposal and if so i fear the ways she shall use it in the future

I liked Fable III but I think I was in the same boat as everyone else… Entered the throne room and didn’t realize the huge gaps in time that I had. My success was bitter-sweet when I was no longer queen of Albion and EVERYONE, but the people left for quests, were dead. :(

Also, kudos to this webcomic… I just started reading it, according to my circadian rhythm, today (although where I live it’s 2:54 AM). Rather than doing chemistry and calculus assignments, I went through the entire archives… I look forward to more in the future! :D

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading through it all.

I ran out of stuff to buy so fast that by the time I got around to actually becoming the ruler I already had more money than required to save the country. I didn’t realize everyone would just be dead if you failed. Pretty bleak.

I must point out that you can play split screen on Fable 3, and if you just create a second account and plug in a second controller you can do some of the stuff that requires a second person, this includes getting access to all of the weapons (though that will take much luck and several play throughs). On the secondary gamertag create a character, thats all you really need to do but you could run through the library to get access to the weaponshop there. Then on your normal gamertag create characters to actually play through the game on and in such situations like a demon door that you need a friend to open sign in on a second controller and do whats needed. After youve cleared the game and got all the weapons and such your looking to collect transfer it to your second gamertag and then again to a single character to hold all of the stuff. Though it is going to take a fair number of run throughs to get them all

That’s good information. I didn’t know you could do that. I don’t have a second controller, but I probably will eventually. I’m pretty sure I’m going to play through the game again now that I don’t really have any stupid achievements to do.

@iggzy–

I missed Carol, good to have her front. Ooh, did I type that out loud?

If Carol was using the gifts God gave her, she’s be running around — um, okay, she does that anyway, when she and Thomas are alone. “Why Grandma, what big, um, eyes you have…” Anyway, as @lokithedamned observed, Carol does indeed have “An arsenal of at her disposal,” playing from, shall we say, a stacked deck. Thomas is doomed. We should all (at least us skirt chasers) have it so bad.

@Crave–

I guess this is a fan-service request. We all, who are being good little Do-Bees and voting regularly (daily for me, for BF and Digger) are rewarded with frequently changing ‘attaboy’ pictures which do not appear on the BF site. Since I frequently vote from work, and the images are possibly NSFW, could you make them available on your D.A. account when a suitable period of time has passed? Also, much as I like Deal With It, perhaps a slightly different pose (Carol in a nice pair of jeans, looking at the viewer over her shoulder) in color would make a nice treat. I’d have to start voting from home and work…

Thanks.

–Perfesser

I actually don’t have control over that voting thing. I don’t know who does. They seem to be getting the images from my DA account so they should all be there unless I deleted them for whatever reason. None of that stuff is ever NSFW. Of course they can pretty much stick whatever they want up there and I can’t do anything about it.

I’m not sure I am properly visualizing your desired image. If you can find me a reference image or explain it in greater detail it would be helpful if I decide to acquiesce to your request.

Crave–

I went back and perused your DA gallery. I work in the Insurance industry (what I do for them is no secret: I write and maintain the programs that print the policies — the company’s only real product). Long story short, it’s a very conservative business; even having ‘An Interesting Night Out’ up on my monitor could earn me a talking-to. Even if Carol does look a bit like my boss’ wife (except she’s not a redhead).

Anyway, most of your images of Carol — or any of your folks — are three-quarters front views turned slightly to their right (stage left). No problem with that — I think it goes with whichever hand one normally draws with. What I was thinking of was Carol standing with her back mostly to us, looking over her shoulder, something along the idea of Deal With It, only less cartoony and more, um, steamy. After all, the whole idea is making the most of her @$$ets — and she certainly gives the ‘high beams’ a workout in an average day (e.g., “Are these things on?”). Time to let her derri√®re get a spotlight share.

–Perfesser

I guess NSFW varies from work to work. In any case, the stuff should be on DA. In fact, most of it was there long before it started showing up on the voting thing.

Fable 3? I’m still waiting for the REAL Fable 2. You know, the one where Peter Molenu (however you spell his name) is thrown out of a tower in the opening cutscene and the go back to what made Fable so good. Like a beefy spell list and a control scheme of more than three buttons. Also a diffculty option would be nice too.

Hmm….you know, I wonder….Both Nina and Ed declined Brooksie for ‘plans’…..Could they be going on a DATE?!?!?!!!! I guess we will find out soon enough. :P

On the Fable subject, it is a boring game to me. Now, i’m by no means a twitch gamer, in fact, Tales of Vesperia is my favorite xbox game right now. But I tried playing the original fable, it just dragged on for sooooooo long. Just not my kind of game. Thoroughly recommend you play Tales of Vesperia or Star Ocean the Last Hope if you happen to like JRPGs.

i wasnt able to finish Fable 1 or 2. for Fable 1, it was the guild quests about the Hobbes, just didnt enjoy them the way i did dealing with bandits. in Fable 2, i was evil. just could not get past the dang cult guys that wanted me to kill my wife, mostly because i could not get a wife.

But Fable 3, i was ready. a good, nice, mostly poor king had finally saved Albion

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