3049 Incorrigible Goil.

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Monday’s page didn’t auto post. For the first time since this version of the site I saw “Missed Schedule” under the publish settings. I have no idea what caused it. The site is so old and based on such an insane framework that almost no one has the capability to do anything with it. Even the smallest updates usually require hours of fiddling to get it back to a functional state, and I am so far beyond knowing how to do it myself I’m essentially at the mercy of whoever has time to help me. At one point I had enough extra money that I could pay a person if things were dire, but now economic conditions are not so good. I always wonder if the next update will be the one that takes down this version of the site forever. Most people have no understanding of what that means to me. Since most people see websites as simply a tool for business rather than a part of the work a person does. This site has over a decade of insights, life events, and history all wrapped up inside of it. If I could no longer access it I would be devastated. The thousands and thousands of comments by themselves have great value to me. Each one is a record of a person somewhere that I reached and spoke to through my work. Even the negative ones represent something real. It is perhaps foolish to desire some kind of permanence from something that most people would see as transitory at best, and yet here I am. If I could print out a version of the website as some kind of book I absolutely would. My work may not be a great epic of its time, but in 1000 years it’s exactly the kind of banal human interaction that scholars would love. So much of the early internet is gone. Those of you who were born 20 years ago have no concept of what the early internet was like. Looking back now it seems crazy to think that the internet could ever be so friendly. My entire concept of self changed when I found out that there really were other people with the same interests as me. Maybe I wasn’t normal, but I also wasn’t alone. Back then there was a lot more delineation between types of people. You rarely saw Jocks reading comics, or girls reading them. In retrospect the Nerd evangelism was kind of a monkey’s paw situation… Anyway there’s a lot more overlap between types of people now and somehow instead of it making things better people fight more than ever before.
Anyway this site has existed through several version of the internet even it its short life. At one point this was the top of the line for webcomics presentation. Or at least near the top depending on who you asked. It existed in a severely broken state for a long time too at one point when it wasn’t quite so new. That was quite an experience… That’s all as may be. I’m just saying I worry about everything all the time and the website is included in that. I could have probably just said that and been fine but my pathological need to endlessly explain myself takes over sometimes.

I’ve got to go to the health fair for cheap bloodwork in the morning. Always a fun time. I’m not sure about leaving mom alone for that long, but I’m also not sure I can get her into the truck in the state the chemo has left her in. It’s 30 minutes to town so if she were to fall while I was out it could be well over an hour before anyone would find her if she was unconscious. I did construct her new pseudo wheelchair tonight though, so if she does go with she can rest on the way to the restroom or whatever if she needs it. All the pathways to everything are fully cleared now, so the tripping hazards are gone at least. She’ll probably be fine by herself, but that’s certainly not going to stop me from worrying.

You know we’ve always had trucks or similar vehicles because we’ve been a generally rural family. It’s not like we were out milking cows, but we were always going to rural adjacent places and events. You had trucks to drive on dirt roads and what have you. When I was little mom had a car. I think it was called a Cougar, but it’s been long enough that I don’t remember exactly what it was. It was emerald green and kind of boxy with sort of fin like structures on the front. I can’t remember what it was replaced with but I do remember being sad when we sold it. I suppose it should be no surprise to longtime readers that I form emotional bonds with inanimate objects. (I Thanked our old mailbox for its service…) For the life of me I cannot recall what the next vehicle in line was. I know that mom drove a Ford Bronco 2 for many years that she liked very much.
Not important to the point I was going to bring up which is that it’s a long way from the ground to the seat in a truck these days. I’m over six feet tall and I can barely step up into the cab of these behemoths. There isn’t even a handle to help you climb in on the driver’s side of our current truck. And the running board step thingys are treacherous. If they are wet at all, or get any substance on them that isn’t glue, they become frictionless. How the fuck do you even design something so poorly? Trucks are for jobs where you will likely walk in mud. Anyway all of that is to say I see why older people buy vans and stuff you don’t have to climb into like it’s Kilimanjaro. I can foresee a a time when the trucks will not be something either of my parents will be able to haul themselves into. At the moment mom is basically already there. It’s like, well what the fuck do we do now? Mom is too heavy right now for me to lift her into the truck on my own. Over the course of this adventure, shall we say, that may change, but right now it’s a concern.

Well whatever. I can’t fix these issues at the moment and I’ll just have to field them in the moment as best I can. I’m trying to get ahead of situations though so I can at least minimize the extra stress not being prepared causes. If nothing else I’ll have a new page ready on Friday for you to hopefully enjoy. Until then, slappity bappity doo.