3041 What News Bring You?

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I actually briefly forgot that these two knew each other when I started writing this page. The increased stress of the current time has taken a toll on my memory that I didn’t expect. Once I remembered their history it wasn’t a problem, but this was such a core part of both of their arcs I was taken aback by the fact that it didn’t load into my head the way these things usually do. Anyway, I feel like these two have a good relationship. Jess is very keen on new things and Mike is a very genuine and fun guy. Their characters in their tabletop campaign also have a father daughter sort of vibe. Or maybe a flirty younger woman and slightly dirty old man vibe… In any case getting along in game has set a standard of getting along IRL. Also, Mike very much sees the stuff outside the store as a lifeline to maintaining his sanity. His life hasn’t been very balanced which is why he was so desperate to go out and find friends outside the store in the first place. As a manager he likely feels uncomfortable really being friends with his associates. It’s a tricky thing because you have to set up boundaries so neither party gets taken advantage of. He went all in on being friends with Ed basically out of desperation and Ed being a generally ethical person. With Jo he’s basically a big brother type so his inclination is to protect small, weird, adorable creatures.

This next bit might be a bit melancholic, so if you aren’t in the mood just skip down to the last paragraph if you want to read my outro.

Mom brought home the stabilization mask from her radiation treatments since they finished them. She wanted to show me what it looked like. I didn’t say it to her at the time but I had a really… I don’t even know how to describe it exactly, reaction. I didn’t want to touch it, I didn’t want to look at it, and I didn’t really know why in the moment. Now I think I instinctually recognized it as a totem of my mother’s mortality. A physical representation of it that I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t even realize it was something I needed to prepare for. Tanking psychic damage like that is draining in such a specific way. Especially on the heels of a bad weekend and continuing strife that’s specific to me. I can’t get any room to breathe right now and it’s making me vulnerable to things that might normally bounce off without tripping me up. At the same time the events of the last ten days or so have revealed things I would not have guessed if you had asked me before.

I’ve been trying to go through my stuff to find things to sell since my financial situation is growing more dire over time. My game collection is theoretically very valuable, but the actual act of selling it is harder than I thought. It’s not like I’m going to play most of those games. I haven’t played many of them in decades, but knowing that I had them IF I wanted to was always a comfort. Nearly all of them are available on other platforms I own. When I put them in my hand and think about the stories, and the time in my life when I was playing them… I haven’t listed a single one yet.
There’s also the fact that once I sell my stuff that’s it. There is no further archive of potential wealth for me. It’s a one time deal. If I get into a dire situation again there won’t be anything left in the chamber, not even one to put in myself. That certainly doesn’t fill me with joy.
My best stuff in almost every instance is the stuff I don’t relish the idea of selling. The piles of Image comics I have, that I never even read, are nearly valueless. They printed too many, everyone saved them, and they SUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Before the comic crash Image was shoveling shit onto the pile at a staggering pace. I ended up with most of it because the comic shop owner couldn’t give them away. He was basically handing us garbage to deal with ourselves in hopes that it might transmutate into something of value later. The X-Men comics do have some value because they are okay to fantastic in quality. I own the era of comics they pulled a lot of material from for the movies and X-Men 97, so people are interested in it. If I could get digital copies of all of it I wouldn’t have as much of an issue with selling them off, but a lot of it isn’t even on offer, plus buying it would defeat the purpose of selling the physical books. I’ve always wanted to go back and read those stories but more and more I think I will never have a time where I can. Maybe giving up is what I need to to and accept that there will be no golden age at the back end of my life.

I bought all of this stuff so at some point in the glorious future I could enjoy it. If I’m not going to get to enjoy it I’d at least like someone to enjoy it in my stead. If I can use it to stave off financial ruin for a while that would be a bonus. Even then it’s going to burn out fast in the current economy. Best case scenario I’m buying myself maybe a year unless things turn around. My inability to market my product is finally catching up to me.

Anyway, it is what it is. I’ll figure things out and succeed, or I won’t. In the short term I’ll be back on Monday with another page of low stakes adventures of made up people. I hope you have a pleasant weekend. Until next time, sniff a puffy sticker if you can find a fresh one.