2962 Silent Screaming.

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First of all, than you for the many well wishes an congratulations for the anniversary and my birthday. I apologize for not responding to each one individually but I spent the actual day going to the DMV to renew my license because I forgot that it expired on my birthday. My father also needed someone to renew his tags, which required a trip to another government building. I can’t even remember why we had to go to the third town… By the time I got back home there were already enough comments that I was a bit overwhelmed. Instead of worrying about it all I decided I was finally old enough to just not anymore. I try not to reply too much to the comments anyway because I have a tendency to take comments incorrectly, or phrase things in a way that causes unintentional fights. I may go back through when I’m not feeling so harried and reply anyway, just because I might want to. I reserve the right to do whatever I damn well please.
I finally have some insight into the strange smell that torments me from time to time. Yesterday they burned the weeds from the irrigation ditches and the smoke eventually blew right across the house, while I was outside. Directly after that the smell manifested, so apparently it has something to do with burning grass. Maybe it’s how the smell filters into the house, maybe it’s how my body reacts to the smoke. Either way I now have some idea of where the smell comes from so I can research it more when it happens. If you’ve read the blog for long enough you will know how much I get obsessed with these phantom smells and how much they irritate me. Now that I have some information I can now work toward mitigation.
The smoke has irritated mt eyes and lungs enough to disrupt my sleep pretty badly and I know it’s been disrupted because of the increase in lethologica I’ve been experiencing.

That reminds me, did I ever talk about the home sleep study I did? I think I mentioned it. I’m pretty sure I talked about it on Discord but I don’t think many people read my anxiety thread anymore. In any case I did the study wrong because they weren’t clear about if I should use my sleep machine or not. I can’t function without using it and I wasn’t about to spend a month going insane from choking out in my sleep over and over. Anyway, the machine did pick up the panic attack I had and it started right after my oxygen dropped to 82% so my mask must’ve come unsealed which triggered the attack from not breathing. After that I slept for long enough to get some readings. I had 5 events which is apparently really good. I would have though no events was the goal but apparently 30 or 40 is where they start calling things really bad. In any event since the test was a wash I basically can keep using my old machine or shell out for a study in the actual hospital again. Unfortunately the cost may be as much as 8 times higher than when I checked last time which was 1000$ If that’s the case well, that’s just not a thing that can happen. After my last medical misadventure I’ll have to wait a year just to have enough money even it it’s still 1000$. If nothing else as long as my machine doesn’t die I’ll be fine. So please pray to the god of machines for my long suffering Bipap.
I’ve lost weight from my addition of walking to my daily routine, so that’s good. Generally speaking, for a man of my age and weight, I’m doing pretty good. Since I’ve never done drugs, alcohol, or smoked the wear on my body hasn’t compounded the way it did for some of my peers. If I stick to the plan I might just get a few more decades out of my bio-suit.

My birthday and anniversary were overshadowed by the death of Chuck Norris. Which is so amazingly typical of my luck I couldn’t even be mad. If you’re going to have your moment forgotten or ignored it would be hard to top the death of a legend like Chuck Norris to do it. I grew up in the era of Chuck Norris’s Karate Kommandos, so that’s what I tend to think of first when it comes to him. I never had any of the toys, but I’ve always thought the line looked fun and was a very good line to point to when trying to explain what the entire era was like. The show wasn’t a huge success and neither was the toy line. If memory serves the first wave had 4 Chucks, which IMO is too many Chucks. Two Chucks and 2 more characters is how I would have done it, but no one was asking at the time. In the end it didn’t matter either way since no part of the idea really did all that well. I don’t recall ever seeing an entire episode. In any event, like many people, I enjoyed the Chuck Norris memes most of all. Now that he has passed into legend I hope the tall tales of this manly man pass down into history and he truly becomes a legendary figure like Gilgamesh and Enkidu. The man so tough that death was too afraid to tell him he had died ten years ago. When death finally came for him he won the fight, but agreed to take over the job. Few people can hope for such a legacy.

Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got for now. I’m ready to ease back into the regular grind for another two decades should the good lord see fit to protect and keep me. I hope you all stick around for the adventure. I’ll be back here on Wednesday with the next installment. Until then, remember, we’re all in this together.