I think that logically Thomas would know that Carol isn’t going to spring having a random kid on him like that. In the moment however her sincerity made him question things. On some level Thomas doesn’t believe that anyone would love him enough to commit to the degree that Carol has. That’s just the irrational part of his mind that traps him in his normal mode of thinking. At the same time it’s not like things can’t change and she could get tired of him. In his head he’s always running scenarios, and future possibilities, based more on his insecurity that reality. His success rate comes from understanding human nature and unintentionally pushing things to go the way he expects in a self sabotaging way. I’m not sure how much of that part of him comes through in the actual pages because to me it seems very obvious, but I live in that kind of a mind all the time. To someone else I’m not sure if it actually reads like that. I’ve never used inner monologue very much because in order to correctly present what it’s like in Thomas’s head it would require so much relentless text. I’ve tried to present it in a subtle way via his words and actions. Of all the characters he’s done the most narration though and had the most inner thoughts presented. I’ve never fully opened that door though. Maybe sometime in the future I’ll let people peek in. I’m not exactly sure how to present it because rom my own experience it’s extremely off putting to others. One of the reasons I’ve never had to worry much about parasocial relationships with my own audience or stalking is because my personality is so relentless that the handful of people who have developed those tendencies start pumping the brakes really hard once they get a taste of pure me, which is of course what Thomas’s personality is founded on. He’s not really an idealized version of myself because he is extremely flawed, but he’s still so much more endurable than I actually am.
Those of you who’ve been here a long time will realize that Reggie is a lot closer to the little goblin that I actually am. Quite a lot of unearned confidence and arrogance while somehow also having very little courage. If you mish mashed Thomas, Ed, and Reggie together you’d basically end up with a complete me. A lot of the good parts of myself were given to the girls. In many ways this whole affair is just me talking to the many versions of myself that live in my brain. While somehow also existing a a cohesion of all of them.

Anyway, this will be the page for Xmas eve so happy Xmas to those of you who also celebrate it. Be careful out there if you are traveling. For those of you who don’t celebrate I wish you well in spite of our differing beliefs. I hope you will do me the same courtesy. On Friday I will return, if the fates allow, with more adventures of made up people. Until then, love and joy come to you.

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Carol and Thomas certainly know how to combine naughty and nice in the same package ;)

(Had to be said, dear readers)

Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays to you all. Take care and stay safe out there!

His fear is legitimate. Too much bad behavior. https://tenor.com/wP39.gif

FWIW- Jackie’s comment about, 100% being-one’s self, + finding people + friends who can go along with that- FWIW, I’ve had + I have, some experiences, like that.

In my experience- whether thru bad training, or from a family that would like to lie about problems…when problems appear- on my bad days: I can be one of the most: overly-cautious, mistrusting, self-centered, impatient, + quick-with-the-very-hurtful-retorts…kind of person, that you can ever meet. Then again, with effort- likely, so can anyone.

But if you make the effort to move around that, and see what I’m really like, behind it- I can be a very: supporting, + loving, caring, and loyal friend.

A lot of it likely comes from [too many years in a physically abusive childhood] or in badly run…retail stores, where people would attack me with very harsh- verbal abuse, + emotional abuse, + then all the people I would ask to help me stop it would just say- “Just put on a s__t eating grin. It just happens, my friend. Ignore it. What they’re doing to you doesn’t matter at all.”

Respectfully, disagree with those people.

I have a friend who refused to keep a mall shop job, on the first day, because the “hire-ee person” gave my friend a lot of verbal “dung”, even before my friend clocked in for the day.

In my view- some behavior is not worth accepting, and should not be accepted, in my view.

Moving on- I can understand, a little bit, when some people find dealing with abusive people, and other types of people, kind of challenging,…and when these people find maintaining friendships…kind of, or very, challenging.

It makes me think of a scene from the Val Kilmer film, Tombstone.

It goes kind of like this:

-A cowboy: “How can you RISK your life, and be around a CREEP like Wyatt Earp???”

-Doc Holiday: “He’s a FRIEND of mine!”

-A cowboy: “So what? Big deal. Big deal. I have [lots] of friends!”

-Doc Holiday: “I DON’T!”

(It can be kind of like that.)

Or, to continue on my above comment- looking at her bad traits, and looking at her very GOOD traits, I probably relate to very much to [Evrina]…more than I’d like like to admit.
:D

That’s all I have for now.

Have a good + fun week, all of Y’all.
:D

Cheers.

MERRY CHRISTMASS!
AND TO ALL GOOD CHEER! GOOD LOOT! GOOD PEOPLE!

2925 Just Checking.

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