I always hesitate to get cinematic with stuff because the internet has trained me not to try. There are so many people out there second guessing everything you do all the time & it can really get to a creator over time. Time has also been a big factor for me for the last 5 years in particular because I was so sick for so long. Taking a chance at something that might take longer than normal is risky. I felt like I was at a place where I could take a chance on this. Like I would be well enough long enough to make this moment work. I guess we’ll see as this scene plays out. The heavens may not hear my scream, but I tried to be heard.
It’s been so brutal online for the past week or so. I’ve lost friends I thought were real friends, argued with people about things I thought everyone agreed on, been misunderstood, misrepresented, and labeled wrongly. I’m always going to have a problem with people who preach peace with a closed fist. I feel like people are trying to radicalize me all the time now & it’s not the people getting blamed for it that are doing it. It’s the people throwing around accusations like maniacs that fill me with fury. I’m lucky in that when I’m at the lowest points my little community reminds me that hope remains.