You guys remember that Lego set the Teen got from her therapist for me? The one that was incomplete? I went to the Lego site and told them the story and they replaced all the missing parts. Well, except for the ones I had extras of already. I didn’t tell them about those. Still, it was very nice of them. Lego really has the best customer care of any company I’ve dealt with. They didn’t have to replace those parts and I wouldn’t have blamed them if they chose not to, but they did anyway. How cool, huh?
As I sit here writing this I feel not good. I’m not nauseated, like yesterday, but I feel like being sick took a toll on me. It’s like I’ve been beaten up from the inside. I’ve done my absolute best to avoid getting sick because I knew it would be really hard on my body, but there’s only so much a person can do. Maybe it rode in on the kid after her first day of school and I didn’t wash my hands after she wallowed all over me. Maybe I picked it up on one of our outings to the store. Maybe dad brought it in and I got it from his hat. It’s possible it just existed somewhere in the house and I happened to touch it and stick my finger near my eyes. There’s no way to know. No matter how safe you make yourself the world is still capable of taking you out. At best all you can do is lower its chances.
I didn’t get the foot infection that tried to kill me, twice, from walking barefoot outside. It was someplace in the house. I’ve walked around barefoot, with cracked heels, for years and never got sick… Then I did. Hell, it might not have even gotten in from my cracked heels. I got a really bad toenail fungus somehow that basically destroyed them. It might have been from that. Try as I might the stuff will not die off. Sometimes is manages to make a toenail break off. It might have gotten in there. I’ll never know for sure.
It’s even possible that I’ve had the bacteria get in before, but back then I was healthier and not as constantly stressed, so my body was able to fight it on its own.
Last night, after the main barrage of sick ended I felt really good for a while. Like how after you have a bad headache the world seems amazing for the contrast, you know? Now I realize that I was still at least a little bit sick and I was just riding the wave of better by contrast. When I woke up today I was like “Oh, I’m apparently still sick.” Now it’s coming and going in waves. From moment to moment I feel lucid and “normal” then I shift back to tired, wobbly, and bad. I bet you could track it based on the way the subjects shift as I write.
I really need to work. That’s one of the problems of being a one man show. Once the man is broken the show can’t go on. I know people will say “Take time off to get better” or whatever, but I really can’t. There are enough readers who only show up because there’s something here when it’s supposed to be that stopping could cripple me for years. A certain amount of people have never read a single word of the blog. They don’t use twitter, all they do is read the comic. If the comic stops they might take a peek, but some will just walk away.
It really makes me sad to think that I might not get to say everything I want to say with this comic. Tomorrow isn’t promised to us. Once I stop, for whatever reason, memories will begin to fade. One day someone might say “Did you ever read that comic about the store, with the big titted redhead? I liked that. What was it called?” And the other person will say “No, I never heard of it.” And that will be the last time anyone thinks of all of this.
Sometimes “I’m not done yet” is the only thing that keeps me going.
I keep hoping that if I write this long enough I’ll find the answers to life, the universe, and everything. Maybe if I hold out long enough my soulmate will stumble across this ridiculous ramble and think “Whoever made this is the one I was put on this earth to be with…” This is all my hope poured out for everyone to look at. I hope it gives you hope too.