1497 Memorable.

There’s, like, a million versions of the bible. I’ve heard this passage so many ways its crazy. In Ghostbusters Ray quotes it as Revelation 7:12, but I’ve always seen it as 6:12. I don’t know if this was on purpose or not, but the version he quotes is truncated, and Winston jumps a section and really cuts the next bit down to a few words.
The passage is martyrs asking Jesus to avenge them and he tells them to wait till everyone else gets killed. I assume because he only wants to avenge the one time, instead of doing it all scattershot.
My version cuts out some of the old imagery, like fig references. The bible is really in to figs. Things are always being compared to, or measured by, figs an their trees. These days people just aren’t that into figs. Somewhere along the way the PR team for figs dropped the ball. They got them heavily into the bible, and that one xmas carol, and then just fucked off for the intervening centuries.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fig. If I have the experience was forgettable enough that I did. That’s why they needed continued support. Their cookie isn’t that good. In fairness though, getting the fig in the bible has kept the name out there. People have a vague idea of what a fig is because they are mentioned thirty five thousand times.

I’m going to try and do the Patreon story update after I finish another page tonight. It may not happen but I’m putting it on the schedule. I’m getting close to being caught up on the patreon avatar/sketches, so if you requested one I should get to it soon hopefully. If I can stay on top of things for a while longer maybe I can finally get back to not having to stress over everything constantly. Fingers crossed!


Figs are those little fruits on cheese platters at fancy restaurants that aren’t dates. If those fruits are grapes, your cheese platter isn’t that fancy.

I’ve never even been to a place with a cheese platter…

“The passage is martyrs asking Jesus to avenge them and he tells them to wait till everyone else gets killed. I assume because he only wants to avenge the one time, instead of doing it all scattershot.”

Or, he wants to make sure none of the good guys are left before unleashing holy hell on the Earth.

So he might as well have just done it since he was already resigned to them all dying first anyway. The outcome would be the same.

Assuming that physical death is the desired outcome, that would be true. But we’re talking METAphysics, here, so there may be a different, overarching purpose involved.

There’s a couple of factors, speaking from a Christian Biblical view.

1) Life here on earth is temporary, and our bodies all die eventually. If not martyrdom or other abrupt death, then old age eventually. It’s subject to the law of entropy like every other material thing. But only the body dies. The soul exists forever. The Christian soul exists forever in the presence of God in a place with no further suffering, their old body replaced with a new one that lacks the old body’s faults. So for those martyrs, death is just being separated from their earthly transportation, so to speak, although it can be painful, and going straight to their ultimate reward. And an escape from the human beings that are tormenting them for their faith. Once they kill you, they can’t hurt you anymore. The method of death can be unpleasant, or far beyond unpleasant, but dying itself is not a negative outcome.

2) There are places such as Genesis 15:16 that present the idea that God withholds judgment until sin reaches a level that people have had all the warnings they’re going to get and all the judgment He’s going to bring is fully deserved. You see the same concept in various of the prophets as well. So one suggestion there is that the level of retribution He’s going to bring will not be fully deserved until the last of the martyrs has been killed. And the level of judgments he talks about in Revelation combined with that first point about what death means for a Christian indicates that being killed is a better outcome for them than living through the next stage of the judgment when God starts pouring out every bit of wrath that mankind has amassed on all those who refused to accept His Son’s payment for their sins.

So conceptually as far as the Bible is concerned, it’s not all the same result, since the punishment of the sinners is not simply physical death, but all the things listed later in Revelation as happening on earth as God’s wrath is poured out and then final consignment to hell. For the Christians, death is not a big deal, other than whatever pain is associated with the method. It’s a gateway to eternal reward in heaven for their faith. For the non-believers, death is a gateway to the final judgment and eternity in hell.

The apocalypse of John. The one book which you really cannot take literally or materially. And the one book which I wouldn’t attempt to decipher (spiritually) in a comic strip forum any passage from.

But I promise you that the meaning is much deeper than the shiny gloss you spread over it.

Yeah, we sort of glanced over Revelations in Catholic study. We pretty much settled with “everything is a metaphor, but we can’t seem to agree what it’s a metaphor of…”. The teachers at my school regarded it as probably the most useless book in the entire tome.

Believe it’s really about Roman geopolitics and moral resistance against the empire, but I don’t know enough about imperial or church history to make sense of it.

That’s pretty much what it is, yeah. The guy who wrote it really had a hate-on for the Roman Empire. I mean “city of seven hills” THAT’S ROME. There’s no other city “built on seven hills” unless it’s some obscure place in the forbidden zones of China. For my part (and I’ve been Catholic as far back as I can remember) I consider Revelations to be little more than ascended fanfiction, mainly for these reasons.

San Francisco has sometimes been described as built on seven hills, like Rome, but the number is actually quite a bit larger. Herb Caen wrote a book called The Hills of San Francisco, and he listed 49 different hills, each with its own name.

I *think* it was 49, anyway. Been a long time since I read it. May have been something else in the 40s, like 42 or 47. But still, a lot more than seven.

If I remember correctly, Byzant/Constantinople was chosen in part because it had “seven hills” and thus could function as a second Rome–though I also think they had to sorta stretch the definition of “hill” to do it…

The 6:12 -> 7:12 change always bugged me as a kid. I assume they deliberately switched it to 7 because it sounds better. “Revelation 7” has a rhythm and rhyme that “Revelation 6” just doesn’t. Also the butchery that follows it…I’m positive it was all just done for presentation.

Figs seem to be rather more popular in Australia, but like pears and watermelons I don’t like them because they have a weird gritty mouth-feel.

I kind of want to find one now. I’ve tried other biblical stuff. Pomegranites are a pain to eat.

Fresh ripe figs are much different from the dried ones. I like them, but wouldn’t want to eat too many at once. Buy a few if they’re ever available, and see if you like them.

Typeminer Johnson is right. Never eat too many figs at once, I made that mistake and hoo boy was I “regular” for a week..

There are plenty of fig trees in my country. So we are quite used to see and eat fresh figs. Taste is really different from dry figs’. I hope you’ll be able to taste both.

Man, I remember in catholic school the only thing that stuck out to me was when Jesus cursed the fig tree. We all had questions, most were why did Christ swear, mine was how were their fig newtons back then…

Side note: to this day, my favorite version of the bible is Lamb, the gospel according to biff, christ’s childhood pal. Best gospel ever.

My grandparents (boths sides of the family) had fig trees in their yards. For some reason, though, I never developed an appetite for them.

All my grandparents are gone now, but as far as I know the trees remain, and still bear fruit every year.

Pfffffffft I almost want to read the Bible now. Almost.

It’s actually a really good read, as long as you remember that this is the Word of God and history of a very tiny portion of humanity, written by extremely uneducated and savage people who lucky to comprehend “fire” and “pottery” and “wheels.”

Also Jesus is pretty cool. Hardcore ska punk who spends his time trolling a bunch of self-important jackasses.

There is a theory that The Book of Revelations is a metaphorical story, that has the message of:

[Have hope for the future. You’re living in the nasty Roman Empire, ruled by Nero, but someday, he will be overthrown, [or maybe he’ll just die off?] ].

As in: The Beast aka the beast known by the number 666…says the theory,…is a metaphor for the corrupt ruler, Nero.

More to the point, Whether you’re talking about the Book of Revelations, or not- Nero’s Rome was a very, deadly, dangerous, + very corrupt place, compared to the modern world. Nero’s Rome wasn’t a very safe place for Rome’s citizens, either.
Regardless, in my view, the book of revelations/ revelations is kind of like Apocalypse Now Redux. Some see it as a great story, but it’s a very trippy + spooky thing, that I don”t want to put in my too often.

If others like it, I’m OK with that, but it’s not my type of thing.

Just in case you’re wondering:
I’m telling the above just as a theory. Such as: there is a theory that Elvis faked is death in the 1970s, and now works for the Highway dept. in Pennsylvania. *shrugs*

Typo, or some biblical term I missed in my atheist education? “I can’t do the NUMERS, but…” Google tells me it should be numbers. I have faith in the google.

Yeah, I think that Thomas means- he can’t tell you the numbers + names that identify each chapter + verse, in the bible, or some message like that.

‘S’funny. People talk about “Getting all Old Testament” on someone, but a lot of the New Testament, particularly Revelations, is pretty damned scary to me.

Well, if you don’t give a fig (I think the Brits may still use that phrase), pass over the rest of this comment. In the U.S., you’re most likely to see figs in the grocery store as dried fruit. I guess the fresh ones don’t travel well.

When I was a kid, we used to look forwar for occasions when Mom or Dad would bring home a ring of dried figs. They would be compressed into the ring formation because they were larger at the bottom than at the top, and putting them side-by-side naturally created a curved structure. They are naturally roughly pear-shaped, with a thick, almost leathery skin. If you think a prune has a tough skin,

(* stupid tablet keyboard *)

If you think a prune has a thick skin, a fig will beat up a prune and take its lunch money. That’s how tough figs are. The stem end is really tough and fibrous but not woody, and a determined kid (or a full-grown goat) can eat the stem. It gives a sense of accomplishment.

Inside, the dried fig is a wonder. If it isn’t so dried out it’s dessicated, it will be full of this very dark brown, thick, sticky, super-sweet goo. Nabisco doesn’t need to do much to it; just add glycerine or corn syrup to keep it from drying out. There are lots of seeds loose in that tarry gunk, crunchy and smaller than poppy seeds.

I would say, if you’ve never tasted one, buy a small package and

(* oh, come on! *)

I would say, if you’ve never tasted one, buy a small package and pass some out to family and friends.

(* okay, now! *)

Fig spreads, jellies, & preserves are crazy good.

I’ve particularly enjoyed the St. Dalfour Royal Fig spread of late.

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