1414 Date Weight.

The thing they are talking about is pretty commonly known. I mean, relatively speaking. Some people never think about stuff like that so you get varied responses if you mention it. The internet calls it “the romantic 15” which is terrible. I renamed it because my way is better. As far as I know nobody else has ever called this phenomenon date weight. I’ve actually been trying to find something to call it that’s more accurate, but haven’t come up with anything yet. It tends to keep happening as a relationship advances. On men you could call it a give up gut maybe? Anyway, don’t worry, I’m on this pressing problem. You guys keep working on equality and stuff while I tackle this, okay?

The other day I tweeted a joke about planned parenthood. I then couched it in my opinion that what they do is important. Then, as with most tweets, I didn’t think about it. Later on I checked the notifications and there were some from people who didn’t follow me. That’s pretty uncommon. One of them was from a radio guy. Talk radio I assume. Sort of a minor league RUsh Limbaugh type. Who countered by asking if the abortions were part of that important work. Except he did it in a way meant to provoke me. It made me experience a brief moment of “Oh yeah, I’m on the internet”. It was strange and interesting on several levels because this guy was literally trolling for attention. He needed content and he was farming it by casting his net into social media and hoping to pick fights. That’s a condition of that guys job. He needs the conflict to stay entertaining and employed. He is the professional equivalent of someone farting around 4 chan calling everyone Hitler.

I don’t come into contact with trolls that often, relatively speaking. I’ve cultivated a very loyal and even minded group of readers who are mostly polite. Things rarely escalate beyond spirited conversation if things get heated at all. At least part of this comes from me not expressing opinions about much of anything. I keep things very superficial. Most subjects are things that don’t require strong opinions, any opinion at all, or are basically common sense. It’s done purposely to foster a welcoming environment. On twitter, however, I’m more likely to just blurt out quick things about whatever subjects are in the popular consciousness at any given time. They get tossed out there with the puns and everything else that spills out of my head. For the most part people tolerate that stuff because even if they don’t agree most of them are reasonable people who can see the world as gradated rather than black and white.

Every so often though it rubs someone the wrong way and they flip out. Of course I’ve had flip outs over ridiculous stuff too, like the movie Ted, so…

I have very much had my perspective expanded from being in contact with people from many different cultures, from all over the world, and people of different races from right around here. I still wouldn’t say that I have any black friends. There are some that I enjoy very much, but we don’t hang out, or whatever. I mostly consume their content. Seeing things from perspectives that I can’t is interesting to me because it not only improves my writing, but makes me a better person in general. I have never been pulled over and worried, for even a second, that I would end up on the ground or in a squad car. I might be nervous that I might get a ticket, but the threat of violence doesn’t enter my mind in any reasonable way. That isn’t true for the black people I follow. And they aren’t brigands, thieves, or what have you. They are, almost across the board, artists, writers, or creators. Like me in every way apart from a quirk of fate that gave them different pigmentation. It strikes me as unjust that they should have to worry about not walking away alive from a traffic violation even if they are courteous and cooperative. Now I fully understand that most police encounters end without violence, but that still doesn’t mean that we should accept that some spin wildly out of control. We shouldn’t be okay with the fact that when a white offender and a black one are charged with the same crime the black person, almost assuredly with face a tougher sentence. It may be impossible, but it is best to strive for equality. You’re going to shit every day, but you don’t stop wiping your ass.

I have to walk a tightrope with that kind of stuff because on the one hand I have peers who are having a very different experience in the world than I do and on the other I have a brother in law in law enforcement. It can be very difficult to express dissatisfaction with the status quo while supporting police in general. In my opinion my brother in law is exactly what a cop should be. A stoic person, slow to anger, in the face of the worst humanity has to offer in many cases. He’s always in my thoughts when I see a cop flip out on tv, or someone tells me a horror story about their own experience. I’m comforted to know that there is at least one good cop that I know out there working to keep the peace. Whenever someone paints the police with a broad brush I have to be the guy who says ‘my brother in law is a police officer” and then they walk back their statements a bit. I don’t really have to do that. I know that they don’t really mean every cop when they say something in frustration. But I’m compelled to be the “not all cops’ guy.

It’s much easier to stay quiet just to keep the peace. As a white guy I have nothing to gain by changing the state of the world. Every deck is stacked in my favor, and I like it. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t love all the perks I get just from being born into a world that sees me as basically better than other people. When I talk about something I’m not instantly the voice of my entire race. I’m just a guy talking. When I go into a store, in spite of looking like a hobo, nobody pays me any mind. I’ve been pulled over 5 times in my entire life, and never received a citation. It’s just shy of being a wizard.

My mother sometimes says that she’s afraid of what she would have been like in olden times. She’s not the kind of person who rocks the boat and she fears that she wouldn’t be the kind of person who would stand up against injustice. I’m not sure what kind of person I would have been either, but I know what kind of person I want to be now.

39 Comments

The easiest way to not put on date weight, don’t date…

The easiest way is to stay away from junk food, and make sure both you and your partner are consistently, physically active types.

Junk food is relative. You need to shock your system on occasion, and remind yourself why you actually learned how to cook, and cook well.

That said, my other half regularly cusses me out for Not Keeping To Her Diet when preparing Food, as I, like Thomas it seems, am the skinny type who can take calorie bombs and not show it at all, even when creeping up to the big Five.

Well, son, many types of junk food I have come to dislike, merely because they tasted miserable when compared to their basic homemade counterparts. To put it into a Frank Sinatra song:

I taste cardboard in Big Macs
Soft serve milkshakes ain’t got what it takes
If Whoppers can’t do the trick
Then what have you got that’ll give me a kick?

For me, it’s the transition from eating sandwiches and Kraft Mac & Cheese to going out and having a big restaurant burger, or a giant burrito, or unlimited soup/salad and bread sticks. Starts out once a week, then twice a week, and suddenly you’re eating out every night because it’s nice to sit, relax, and talk after a long day at work/school.

Also, is it just me or does Carol seem less overall chunky and more potbellied in the last few scenarios involving her?

That metabolism won’t hold out forever.

People keep telling me that.
I hope they’re right; saving money on groceries would be nice.

Don’t be so sure – my dad at worst in his declining years had barely a smooth midriff and never sported any handles or tires of the spare variety. He had the abs well into his 70’s

It is 90% eating habits. Metabolism has very little to do with it, which is why exercise is a severely limited weight loss method.

Can you elaborate on the claim that exercise is a very small part of weight loss? This flys in the face of everything I have ever heard form doctors, nutritionists, etc.

I beg to differ.

I ate far more and ate less healthy when I was in my teens and 20’s and never gained weight except when I exercised a lot (the weight gain was from putting on muscle mass since I was under 4% body fat). As I exited my 20’s I ate more healthy, still exercised a lot (running about 3-5 miles a day) but still started putting on some non-muscle weight.
Yes – eating is important, but metabolism trumps that in a big, BIG way. Some people are naturally skinny no matter what they eat – especially when they are younger. Other folks manage to put on weight even while eating rather healthy and getting exercise. In extreme cases you have hypo- and hyper-thyroidism which can only be treated via medications (diet and exercise can’t deal with those)

I agree with you about your take on law enforcement. There always has, and in my humble opinion, will be, abuses of power, and plenty of attention to that. On the other hand, My soon to be father in law is ex law enforcement, and he’s a stand up guy. Of all the women I’ve dated, he’s the only father of one that’s never given me the “mess with her and I’ll end you” talk. Respect and courtesy has never been an issue with him.

Funny enough, I’ve also taken firefighter training and I wouldn’t trust half the lunkheads I was around to save a life. I heard plenty of racist humor, as in not off color humor-I agree with George Carlin’s theory that context can make some of the darkest humor still funny and (somewhat) acceptable. Seriously, half the class were athletic, capable, and more than a little bigoted. My experiences with emergency services is there’s a lot of extremes-plenty of good and bad, like many people.

Hey Jackie, if it makes you feel any better; while a black man will get more jail time than you just for being black, you will get more jail time than a woman just for being a man. Just to give you some pep, you can still get screwed for things you have no control over too. I also strive for equality but there is all sorts of weird in the minds of humanity.

I dig your economic immensely. Ive reread it more than five times in its entirety. Btw you spelled “putting” with only one T in the first panel. I really hope your physical recovery continues, sir. Well wishes and Godspeed.

The trouble is trying to keep up with the way guys eat. You want that appetizer? I guess I have to share. You like Ice cream for dessert? Well now I want it.

A quick Google search on “Date Weight” indicates you may have a winner here. Even Urban Dictionary only defines it as the weight to which one has to drop to get a date.

And yeah, I hate trolls, too.

Hmmm… This could be, back in school when I tried to use the term in this sense, I was met with anger from the women I was conversing with when I attempted it.

I did not spend a lot of time trying to figure it out; at that time, I was more on damage recovery and avoiding doing it again.

Whoa, is that why I’ve suddenly gained weight in the time it’s been since meeting my lovely boyfriend? Huh! Man, the difference a healthy relationship will make!

Looking at people like that radio guy having jobs int he industry makes me sad.

I can run an awesome talk show and yet people who are paid trolls – and pretty poor sounding trolls at that – get the job? Bullshit; GIVE ME A RAIDO JOB!

“He is the professional equivalent of someone farting around 4 chan calling everyone Hitler”

You just made my day. Could it be I was one of them …

Btw I read the other day that, because of empathy, we are innately more prone to f ear people that doesn’t look like us. So it really is a matter of unlearning this reflex.

Somewhere along the line the condom broke, she is pregnant, this is all the set up for discovery. We will have tears and drama and babies.

Gotta love white guilt…. keep in mind that African americans make up only 13% of the population not 25% + like some people want you to believe.
https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2013/crime-in-the-u.s.-2013/offenses-known-to-law-enforcement/expanded-homicide/expanded_homicide_data_table_6_murder_race_and_sex_of_vicitm_by_race_and_sex_of_offender_2013.xls#disablemobile

So if your black folk (i.e. 13% of the pop) you tend to be killed by black males… now if your a cop (black or white) in a black neighborhood who are you more concerned about? It doesn’t excuse some of the things that happened but it does put things in perspective. I have been dirt poor. I have been looked down upon and discriminated against. I don’t use that as an excuse to commit murder. People these days seem quick to make excuses.. guess it makes them feel better. Live in a poor black neighborhood for a while and you see some do need help and others need a boot to the head.

Fastest way to deal with a pro-life troll, ask “why do you want big government.” Then before he can react, point out that women who want abortions are often not the best mothers, and that statistically every abortion prevented leads to something like $600,000 in additional state and local government spending, mostly on social services (child protective, WIC), police, and prisons, but I do also count the free schooling (unwanted children are more likely to drop out of high school, but the state still has to pay for 8 years+ if they do).
Remember, I am talking statistics, there are lots of wanted kids who grow up to be a waste of space, and lots of unwanted kids who grow up to be great citizens, but the net cost of unwanted kids is pretty huge.

Leave a Reply to Someone's Ed Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.