1014 That Long.

by

I went ahead and renumbered a bunch of pages so the Nina and Carol bit doesn’t end till there’s some solid emotional closure. It’s going to be a mess renumbering the source files, but I think this is best all around. I just shifted the one page on Monday, but looking at it now I feel like this is the way to go.

The microwave quit working two days ago. It’s pretty strange not having one after years of always having one available. I forgot what it was like to have to plan meals to include cooking time. I have also noticed that stuff cooked in the stove, even if it’s made for cooking in a microwave, tastes better. So now I’m like “maybe I’ll just use the stove from now on…” XD The night before it quit I put something in it and it just turned the thing but didn’t make it warm. Which is what happens to me with the dryer a lot of times. So I was like “Not you too…” Then the next day I tried to make dinner and it just turned off and smelled like burning. So that was a pretty clear indicator that things were over between us.

I have a toaster oven someplace. My sister got it for me. It made a lot of toast back when I was working retail I can tell you. I know that’s not what it means by toaster oven, but it made really good toast. Why fight it, you know? Actually it was more like garlic bread, but that’s basically toast. Anyway I think I still have it and I think it still works. I know it works more or less the same way as an oven, but it seems a shame to heat the whole oven for a little brick of frozen food. Of course some of them say clearly not to use a toaster oven, so that’s right out. I wonder why they work in regular ones and not little ones. Maybe they didn’t have room for detailed instructions and chose not to chance people burning their shit down for a pot pie. If so that’s very reasonable of them. I’m glad ConAgra or whoever has my well being in mind.

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Our old microwave quit a year ago so we went out to buy a new one. There was this offer in a local electronics shop where they were selling some cheapo microwaves for cheap. I think it was 50€ or so.

So anyway we went in there and said we want this microwave. The salesperson was all like ok, do you also want to buy an insurance for it for 5 years, it’d cost 100€. I was like what? Why would I want to pay for a 100€ insurance on a 50€ microwave? Then the salesperson started explaining, that the insurance would give me a new microwave if this one would break during the 5 years. She actually went as far to say that this isn’t a very good microwave and it’ll probably break down in a year or two. I was all like, whoa wtf, you’re telling me that your own merchandise is crap? I declined to buy the insurance.

That’s what you get when you got salespeople working on provision, I guess…

For the most part, toaster/convection ovens have heat sources much closer to the product you are heating, so the product gets hotter, faster. This leads to melting of plastic trays and burning of paper products. Very awkward stuff. However, you can usually decant your food onto a small foil tray or something of the like and heat it safely that way!

that long? i know the detail put into this great comic makes days seem to be years, but i thought 3,maybe 4 days tops have gone by in story…..does nightfall bring about a “month later” or something?

The time between certain sections vary. This part, for example, takes place the very next day after the nerf battle. from 895 to now is about 2 days. From 894 to 895 adventures happened that were unchronicled.

Supposedly microwaves have been banned in the soviet union for health reasons. Not sure if this is true or not, but if it is, imagine something the Russians won’t use for health reasons that we do?

Their governmet is morally bankrupt and dependant on keeping a population too stupid, scrared, or lazy to change it. Why should I give a shit what they think is bad for me?

The government is too incompetent to be properly corrupt. The corruption lies in society itself. That being said, the government has less of a self identity than most corporations do these days. Hell, some corporations have been behaving like entities (or organisms. actually, both entities and/or organisms) for a number of years now, often leading to some interesting debates about who exactly is responsible for what within the corporate structure. For example, is the CEO really in charge when a board of directors or stockholders (or both)can override decisions made at various levels? Not that I think most CEOs (or boards of directorship) aren’t corrupt and idiotic in most ways, but as things progress it does get rather more and more complex as well as possibly being our best shot at artificial intelligence. … Okay, 100% shot at artificial, with a vague shot at intelligence.

My son in law lived in Russia for two years and vouched for the fact that despite some false information you can find out on the web, Russia does not ban and has not banned microwave ovens at any point in their history. Like any appliance, you have to buy one that has been properly manufactured and complies with the relevant safety requirements. Products manufactured in the old Soviet empire were notorious for their spotty quality, but that usually had more to do with them breaking down than being dangerous. On you might want to think twice about the safety of a microwave build in China. Stuff coming out of China right now has established a very checkered record for safety. Examples in the past 5 years include;
? Melamine in baby formula and dog food
? High lead content paint on children’s toys
? Anti-freeze in toothpaste
? Seafood contaminated with salmonella, veterinary drugs, and nitrofuran, a cancer-causing chemical
? 450,000 Chinese-made light truck tires recalled for being dangerously defective
? Cadmium-laced Miley Cyrus bracelets
? Tainted Heparin medication
? Lead-coated steel sold to construction companies buildings office buildings, factories, and condominiums (wonder if any China-made microwaves used steel coated with lead?)
… and the list goes on and on.
The problem is not inherently with microwaves but rather with whether save components were used and whether corners were cut in the manufacturing.

How I’m gonna get my delicious lead if I don’t buy from China? It makes the voices come. The ones that write the comic for me…

…we make pot pies in the toaster oven all the time. The Marie Callendar 16 oz ones, even. Works fine really.

(We have to. All the Marie Callendar restaurants in Washington State got closed down due to bankruptcy, including the one nearest us going down at 3 in the afternoon, kicking a birthday party out.)

My headcannon says it’s only been a month or two!

I’m the master of the microwave cuisine. I love to cook, and no matter what kind of mood I’m in, Elvis Presley puts me in the mood to cook. And I don’t even really like his music….

HOWEVER, as much as I like COOKING, I dislike EATING. It’s an annoying chore. I’ll spent two hours making something fancy and then eat it in thirty seconds standing up.

So sometimes I just do it up in the nuker, to avoid dishes. I make AMAZING pork chops in it….

Errr, suppose I should mention that the odd time that I’m in a position to cook for others, I do it “normally”….

When I was in college, I shared a small apartment with someone else from college. We didn’t have a microwave.

I had both a toaster oven, and a rice cooker, and I used the rice cooker for most of what I use a microwave oven these days. If I had leftovers to heat up I would just put them in the rice cooker.

Sometimes I even made rice in it! :-)

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