1011 He And Me.

Hmmm… I haven’t got much to report at the moment. I’ve been kind of stuck doing things that don’t lend themselves to interesting blog posts.

Here’s something I was thinking about, I know tons of pinup model’s names. Like, from when I was a teenager on. I know that they aren’t their given names, but I can identify them as performers, or whatever. I’ve never been into the “watch people have sex” porn stuff, but I expect it must be the same kind of deal. Here’s the thing though, I can’t name but one dude. Maybe two if it came to me in a random memory. Is there a gender difference in this kind of thing? Do girls know the stage names of dudes they like? Do they go to forums to talk about their pecs, or whatever it is girls like about men physically? What about gay dudes. do they have perferred performers? Is there crossover? Is there crossover with lesbians and hetero dudes? Feel free to answer any of these questions if they apply to you.

Guys seem to kind of parse things out by body parts. Like forums are dedicated to whatever part a group is fixated on the most. Or at least there are threads dedicated to breaking it down by parts if the forum is a general one. Now that I think about it, I wonder if there is a forum dedicated to girls with big ears… I bet there is. I know what I’m doing tonight.

Anyway, I’m wondering if girls break their porn down by body part, or what. How does this work? It seems like there is probably some chemical differences between lesbians, gays, or whatever too. I mean, it’s kind of like a boy brain in a gril body, so the chemistry must have some kind of mixed around combination of girl and boy feels.

Also, Lesbian is a girl that likes girls, but they are also gay and homosexual. A gay man is also gay, obviously, and homosexual, but what is the special word for him? No one ever uses it. Does one exist? I wonder if it’s on wikipedia… I’ll be right back.

Okay, apparently there is no such word. At least not one that isn’t also an insult. Someone needs to get on that. Our finest wordsmiths should be called to rectify this oversight.

Anyway, that should be enough to keep you busy answering my questions. Feel free to ask me questions, or the cast, on Tumblr because it is much easier to keep track of them there. You can ask them here too, but try not to be hurt if I miss them. Every so often one gets past me if I can’t keep track of the site for a couple of days or whatever. There’s a link there up top in the link bar. Also, if you don’t use tumblr I think you can ask anonymously. Feel free to identify yourself with the username you use here just so I know sort of who you are.

21 Comments

Well, speaking personally, as a bisexual girl, I tend to break down by parts too, and I’d say that’s a fairly human trait not just a male one.

I mean “oo, check out his abs!” or “Wow, he’s got the prettiest eyes!” or “Sexy mouth!” (all of which can describe Jensen Ackles from Supernatural) Girls tend to focus on small things too. Only, I think that women focus a bit more on the face whereas men focus below the neck.

One thing that generally bothers me a fair bit is society’s sexuality and gender identity labels. I’m transgender and my sexuality is nonstandard, so I’ve spent some time trying to label myself and quite honestly outright failed. There’s always something.

When it comes to sexuality, we have this homo- and heterosexual binary. But gender is only one aspect of who a person is. If you take a couple of heterosexual guys, you’ll probably find some differences in the source of their attraction. One of them might love teh bewbs and the other might instead be attracted to certain feminine personality aspects more than any physical feature.

Among women the binary may even be more pronounced. A lot of women enjoy romance stories, and for them it’s oftentimes more the trip they take than the person who takes them on the trip. But there are plenty of women for whom physical traits are very important. Among lesbians, there are plenty who aren’t feminine at all, but certainly not all of them.

And then you have other sexualities beyond the standard three of homo- hetero- and bi-. Like asexuality, wherein someone isn’t really attracted to people on the basis of gender. And pansexuality, wherein someone can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender. But those two aren’t super different from one another, it’s more a question of degree. Then there’s demisexuality but at that point I just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of all the categorizing.

For some people it’s important to have a label for themselves. But honestly I just wish we would move past it; it’s fine to have a label for yourself, but when you start labeling others and trying to simplify everything then you’re really ignoring a lot of who people are. People like what they like, and they be who they want to be, and that’s life.

I don’t know what spurred my label rant since it doesn’t answer any of your questions, but hopefully I’m not being too annoying with it.

I wanted to add in my two cents on the last bit about people needing labels. I think that is something that has caused a lot of turmoil in recent years as past labels and gender roles have been challenged.

For example, being a mom used to mean staying at home, cleaning the house, raising the kids, being part of PTA meetings or whatever stereotypes we want to pick out from the 1940s. Nowadays though with stay at home dads, single moms, mothers in the work field, two mom families, etc. we see the roles and expectations shifting around and becoming unclear.

On the one hand it is a good thing that these once rigid and narrow minded roles are being broken down with respect to the individual. But yet looking at it another way, people no longer have the direction and guidance they once had. What I mean by that is that if you wanted to be the “best” mom, you just had to do A, B & C. Dads work hard and watch sports, so you know what you need to do and excel at to be a “good” dad.

Now I’m not saying that someone needs to watch sports to be a good father, but that it was something that fell under the father label or role. Now that the role is being rewritten and for some it is liberating while for others it is confusing.

It’s like you said, some people just need labels for themselves, it tells them what to do, while applying labels to others just limits what people can be.

*please note I don’t mean to argue one point or another, just wanted to add my thoughts on that point in.

I agree its confusing at times because you dont want to push scocietal norms on people but otherwise its difficult to know how a person wants to be treated. I have to be extremely careful with what i say because i dont want to upset/insult anyone.

I just am polite to everyone and not judging. my personal creed is, “If you have the skills and abilities to do the job, you shoul be able to do the job” One standard, no matter your gender, race, creed, etc. . .

and thats my 2 cents

guess we’re up to four here, heh

The gears are turning over here, but I’m floundering about on answers as much as you are.

My theory: people notice the lesbian population slightly more (for reasons it is rather simple to fathom), thereby giving them more names. Kinda like how most of the Inuit society is based around snow, so there are hundreds of Inuit words referring to snow.

Also, Carol, if you don’t wanna . . .

The body part parsing is probably a human thing, as others have mentioned. But for me personally, I identify what I prefer and don’t prefer on a more global basis. As in, I may like dark hair and small hips on one female, but then on another I like a fuller figure and freckles. It kind of depends on what look would be most “natural” in my mind, and if it’s close to a natural look I’m happy. Don’t know if that makes much sense, but that’s my view on it.

Also I’m glad we’re back to other characters after a brief hiatus.

Hm… lets see…

Q. Do girls know the stage names of dudes they like?

A. Yes, some do just like some guys know the stage names of the women they follow.

I used to work for an adult book store way back in the day when I was in my late teens. The store owner had a policy that the clerks had to watch all the porn that came into the shop before we could list it for sale. His reasoning for this was so that we could give honest opinions of films for people who were actually interested in asking as well as possibly recommend movies to people based on their tastes.

For a couple of years there I actually knew all the stage names in the industry. But that’s primarily because I had to watch it, all of it… whether it was to my tastes or not. I’ve seen a lot of really bad porn in my day because of it. I’ve also seen some fun and decent porn, and yes there is some out there that is actually more than just the old cliche of “Then the pizza guy walked in… bow chicka wow wow”.

But that aside, I did actually start following the careers of some of the “performers” that I actually thought were good at their job. Being that I’m bisexual I followed both male and female performers and at one time could even read off a litany of their best films. But that was a long time ago, and after seeing enough bad porn it really put me off the whole thing.

So generally speaking I don’t even watch porn anymore. But yeah, why wouldn’t women know the stage names of their favorite performers, whether male or female.

Argh… another post lost to the Internets…. I had another question that I was posting on, (shorter than the last one) and my computer dropped connection just as I hit post.

I think it’s a per person thing rather than a gender thing. Personally, I can identify maybe three actors by name that I find especially attractive. My significant other can identify almost every actor she’s ever seen, both male and female, taking particular note of which ones she thinks have good looking shoulders.

Speaking of body parts, I’m amazed that the store dress code allows Nina to get away with that shirt.

Not that I’m complaining, mind.

You know, if Nina weren’t so obviously harmless and nice, the final panel would be REALLY creepy…

I’d love to leave a post on your tumblr, but it’s being a bit of a pain in the butt at the moment, so I will post here instead.

Men and women are, I think, for the most part, very much the same. Except that society teaches us to be very different. It’s evident in the fact that MEN who are gay are insulted with every turn of phrase, but WOMEN who are gay are either tolerated or venerated. Men have to deal with insults on a very base level, regardless of what their class, creed, or sexuality is. There is a great deal to be said about how we subjugate women as a society, but it is ALSO true that we demean and subjugate men as a rote habit.

The other side of the equation here is that women are STILL shunned for having any sexual desires. At least, if they have them publicly. Which means that forums and groups of women talking about what body part they like are only now on the rise (no pun intended) because even if they like one aspect of the male form (or female form) they are discouraged from talking about it with others. Especially overly-judgmental female peers. On a side note, this is a big reason why women develop a small cadre of male friends they can go to with their opinions on this shit. This is also part of the whole “friendzone” phenomenon of our generation.

I honestly believe the largest single dynamic that has the largest effect on us as individuals is this dynamic between men and women, and how we treat each other in general.

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