2017-02-17-BF1656-ruboff


1656 Rub Off.

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Mike is a lonely, lonely guy…

Recently I haven’t been sleeping right. I never get sleepy. I get tired, and I have to lie down eventually, but I never get that signal for sleepiness. Once O do rest I don’t seem to fall all the way asleep. It’s like this really amped up version of what has been happening since I’ve gotten the C-pap. I wake up not feeling like I’ve slept, but I’m fully functional. Usually without any noticeable problems. I do wake up in dreams sometimes, but it still doesn’t feel like I’m going all the way to sleep. Unfortunately if I don’t get enough of this weird not quite sleep I really want to go back to bed even though I’m not what I recognize as being sleepy. Maybe it’s connected to my allergies somehow. It seems like it started when plants started growing again and the weather started being hot again sometimes. I don’t like to take anything though since it lowers the effectiveness of my blood pressure medicine. Then again, if I fall asleep without my mask it seems like I actually sleep, but I feel terrible when I wake up. In reality I should probably have another sleep study done, but it’s $1000 dollars with insurance paying for none of it. Dropping that kind of money for something that might be wrong, but doesn’t seem to be really harming me is difficult. It’s weird that insurance covers some of the stuff to do with the c-pap, but not the study for the settings…

Did I tell you guys I can’t change providers till June? I got everything ready to switch but the company I want to leave never sent in all this paperwork so I won’t own the machine till then. If I don’t wait I’ll have to do the study again, and pay all the set up fees, and buy a new machine. It’s a real goddamn mess. I really need to order supplies for the damn thing too, but I keep forgetting and have been sleeping during the day because of all the nonsense that keeps happening around here.

I’m also worried that when it starts being hot again I won’t be able to do things outside anymore. I’m still affected by heat more than normal, although not nearly as much as I was even a month ago. The thing is I can’t afford another incident of fainting over a fluctuation in temperature. I don’t relish the idea of having to do everything at night again but that may just have to be the way it is…

In some ways I feel pretty good most of the time, but my body seems to betray me randomly some days or in situations I don’t expect. It makes it very difficult to function out in the regular world…

I guess I’ll muddle through like I always do though. It seems like getting a Switch for the Splat2n test fires is out of the question though. That’s pretty disappointing. Launch day hardware usually isn’t a big deal for me, but I really love Splatoon and am excited for the sequel. Zelda too, but I don’t feel that urgency like I do with the splatoon stuff, since it’s just a regular game that is the same no matter when you pay it.

Just as a little update to this, right after I posted the comic I had a short, but intense, panic attack. Maybe I just got in my head a little too much, or maybe it’s just random. I can never tell for sure. It only lasted a few moments for the actual physical attack, but the effects still linger as they always do. It’s been long enough since I’ve had a really intense one that I almost forgot how awful they are. People throw around the words panic attack the way they casually say they have OCD, but usually they don’t actually experience the real thing. The worst ones truly make you feel like you are seconds from death. For me they leave me tired and jittery sometimes for days afterwards. With this one I’m not sure. It was really short, but also so intense it really took me by surprise. I’m definitely still riding the fear high that happens after and it’s one of my least favorite feelings. Especially since there’s nothing that makes it go away faster now. I just have to live through it till it runs its course. I guess I’ll keep you posted on it…