2016-07-04-BFP1559-reactionary


1559 Reactionary.

23 Comments

I don’t like being flirted with unless the person flirting is genuinely interested in me. People who flirt for the sake of flirting are irritating. The thing about Jess is that she flirts indiscriminately, but because she is genuinely attracted to a wide range of people, and is very keen. So I’ve always been of two minds about that aspect of her character. She is the type that can bounce from person to person without it causing her a lot of strife. I think her ideal world would be one where everyone could exist in a bunch of cuddle puddles where everyone is just chilled out and having a good time. That kind of personality is rare. She can be attracted and attached to a lot of people but not selfishly. Most people, myself included, are, on some level, possessive of other people. We establish a sort of ownership over them in our minds. Which is fine, unless you go to far with it. I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s kind of like how some people don’t think you can rape your spouse. If you want to have sex with your partner and they don’t they can tell you know. If you force yourself on them, then there you go. You’ve treated them like a possession rather than another human being with agency. Even if you enter into a relationship with someone you don’t also enter into joint possession of one another. You need to abide by whatever rules you agree on, but accept that, in the end, you can’t control the other party’s actions. That’s part of why relationships with more than two people tend to disintegrate over time. It’s hard enough to keep it together with two people. Adding more just complicates things. Of course that doesn’t mean it can’t be done, but it’s just that much harder for every other person you involve.
I’ve known a few people who entered into relationships with multiple people, and none of them were ever stable and healthy. Someone ends up as a third wheel and then the fires start. If you’re in a relationship like that, and it’s working, you deserve a gold star. You have abilities that go beyond those of most humans.