2016-03-16-BFP1512-minidriver


1512 Mini Driver.

40 Comments

He means well… He’s just having some complex emotions and urges he’s unfamiliar with.

I’ve talked more readers out of suicide than I care to talk about. I don’t really talk about it with anyone. In fact this may be the first time I’ve ever said anything about it. I’ve made myself available in practically every way you can. It’s so easy to message me. I respond as often as I can. I guess maybe it’s just mathematically assured that if you avail yourself like that eventually you’re going to be someone’s last hope; the one they reach out to when they don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not trained in any way for this. I play it by ear and muddle through as best I can. It seems really sad that I should ever be someone’s last resort though. Sometimes we hide our pain so well the people closest to us can’t see it. Sometimes they ignore it willfully. I know there are readers I wasn’t able to help. Accounts on my followers lists that just stopped posting after they reached out. I can’t force people to get the help they need. I just try to convinced them that it’s okay to ask for it. But I know I’ve failed at least once. It is very hard to reconcile that sometimes. You guys aren’t abstractions to me. When you connect with me I’m aware in a very real way that you ARE. It makes my head swim sometimes. I can understand how the pressure of being really famous in some way. People know you and you can only know a part of them; this tiny speck of everything they are. If you aren’t a monster you want to help them, but no one person can be the salvation for hundreds of others, let alone millions. But I would if I could.
Strangely enough I only know of one celebrity that’s ever talked about this: Eminem. He has a song that’s a one sided conversation with a fan that he responds to after it’s too late. I’m not trying to compare myself to him as far as popularity is concerned. But I’ve always thought the fact that he sat down and thought it all out spoke to the true nature of his character.
I really wish I could talk about this with other comic creators. I can’t be the only one who’s gone though this right?

Guys, seriously, if you ever feel like you’re too depressed to go on please reach out to someone. Even if that someone has to be a person as ill prepared as me. I don’t want to have more silent accounts following me than I already do.