1241 Gross.


I very much like the idea that after a rough start Carol and Ed became, friendly, if not friends. They respect each other for sure and Carol is allowing Ed in a little. Perhaps more than he would like at this point…

Now that the Teen is on summer break my ability to know what day it is has been totally ruined. It’s like a never ending weekend now. I was hoping that she would find a hobby, or something, to occupy herself so I could maybe catch up on… everything. So far she’s needed a lot of being driven to and from places and my hopes are beginning to fade away. She is an active, party seeking, child. If not for her social anxiety I fear we would never stop going places with intent to party. Even with said anxiety she’s willing to try an unknown party location, if only to call for pickup soon after. It’s quite exasperating for her cousin/chauffeur…

The planning for her 16th birthday has started already. It’s going to exceed anything my sister and I ever had, that’s for sure. Of course that’s not saying much, but still. A space has been booked, as well as a DJ. I’m glad everything is being taken care of in advance at least. I can scarcely imagine the disaster that would befall us all if this thing was being thrown together at the last minute.

I’ve never been to a good party. I’ve been to parties that could be described with many other adjectives, but good is not one I would apply to any of them. I find drunk people tedious and off putting, and getting to that state has always seemed to be the goal of every party I’ve ever attended. (This excludes family functions for all but 25% of my extended family.) All I ever want to do is talk about cool things and/or play games. I’ve never been able to gather enough like minded people for that to happen. The closest I’ve ever managed to come is playing Super Bomberman with very high friends and associates. Certainly not what most people would call a party, but much more fun in my opinion, and something I could genuinely say I enjoyed in spite of the surrounding inebriation.

The only kind of party I hate more than a drinking party is a Mario Party. Those games suck.

Anyway, I guess either Memorial Day took people out of the supernatural mood or, like me, your lives have been mostly unexplainable event free. Nearly all of my life has been explainable. I’ve actively sought unexplainability, but it has eluded me at nearly every turn. Since I’ve talked a lot about parties why don’t we make that the subject of not comic related talk? I will tell you about the most memorable thing I ever saw at a party.

This is a very abbreviated version of the story, but I don’t feel like typing out the entire saga. Anyway, some friends had a party that infected the surrounding apartments. Once things were on the cusp of truly getting out of hand a very drunk neighbor decided to show off his sword collection. It was very much a moment in my life where I thought “This will not end well…” Rather than try to reason people out of danger I just let the whole thing play out. I didn’t like any of them enough to potentially save them from losing an eye, or worse, at the cost of injury to myself. Eventually the swordmaster hit upon the idea of splitting a beer can in half. He was, as I said, quite drunk and not really capable of wielding his weapon in the way you are imagining it. He placed the can on a table and rather than swinging over his head he held the sword in front of himself and bent at his wrists. This resulted in the tip of his QVC samurai sword being jabbed in his eyebrow, just shy of his eye. At this point I knew things were going to get very bad, very fast, for everyone present. I casually made my way to my truck and drove into the night just as the police and ambulance arrived. One thing I know about parties is NEVER be the one sober guy there when the cops show up. They very much want to know why you didn’t stop the disaster that called them out from taking place. I found out later that the swordmaster lost the use of his eyebrow, so he always looked very casual on 50% of his face. I suppose that’s better than always looking surprised…