The comments for the last page were interesting to read. It’s always neat when people share their experiences by way of opinion. The level of civility is also impressive. It’s almost like we aren’t even on the internet. A few people have even come close to what I think the whole point of this story is. I hate to just spell it out though. Oh, I want to, but I’m using all my determination not to.
I’m thinking about altering one relatively inconsequential point. I haven’t for sure decided, but I feel like maybe Dawn’s husband should be an elementary school teacher or something, rather than a professor. I actually went back and forth on that point a few times while working out their backstory. I settled on the one because I felt like it made him more impressive. The more I think about it though the more it seems like he’d be a regular teacher. Just thought I’d bring it up so no one thinks they are going insane if I do change it. Also I don’t want Jess, or anybody, running in to him as they study.
Anyway, this particular interaction, or bits of it, was originally between Thomas and Dawn. It got edited several times because he had sort of already come to see the end of their relationship from Dawn’s perspective even before talking with Carol. He references it even in the first chapter with a tone of the blame shifting to himself rather than just her. A couple of people picked up on that. Maybe they have long memories too, or just reread the archives. X3 In any event, it seemed like he’d be taking a step backwards that would have been out of character, whereas Nina sees things from a different perspective and perhaps dislikes Dawn a lot more than she let on. It all sounded a lot more right, if not just, coming from her.
I couldn’t leave this interaction out because it’s basically Dawn’s only chance to present her perspective. As much as she hurt Thomas with her actions he absolutely did the same with his inaction. The argument could certainly be made that Thomas forced this outcome, but the reality would likely still be someplace in between.