We’re having a very small gathering for my grandpa’s birthday. I usually don’t attend such things, but I think I will this time since Grandpa is running out of birthdays. I already have the page ready since it’s such a simple continuation for the previous one.

In years past these sorts of things would often go on and on into the night, but now everyone is either dead, or busy, so I won’t be out all that late, I expect. Ever since my leg issue happened I have avoided traveling even more than I used to since it results in my feet being uncomfortable. Recently though I’ve managed to get to a point where it’s much less pronounced and often abates in an hour or so once I can sit on the floor for a while.

I could potentially stay home and work on various things, but I kinda feel like I’ve earned the right to see what’s left of my family before it’s gone. Hopefully most of you won’t hold that against me. I know from experience that some of you will, but I suspect those people haven’t done anything particularly worthy of my concern over the last two decades. Realistically grandpa won’t even know I was ever there ten minutes after we leave, so I’m not sure who all will benefit from my presence, is anyone will at all. I just have a feeling that I should go this time.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice start to your week. Be careful out in that big, scary, world. I’ll be waiting here for you on Wednesday, so don’t make me cry.

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I haven’t spoken to any family in over two decades and don’t care. When I think of them all I can see is red and all I feel is hate.

I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes those whose blood and genetics you share just aren’t your family, so better to share your time with those who do actually care about you.

Today, I went to a party for one of my cousins, her husband has turned 70.
In two weeks, I’m going to a funeral for another cousin.

It may not be for the best that your grandfather won’t remember you were there.
But it is good that you will remember that your grandfather was there.

Isn’t BF set in Kansas? There are large evergreens in Kansas? I didn’t know that.

People plant pine rows for wind breaks. Otherwise the wind will scrape all the everything off the ground. Nature would very much like for Kansas to go back to being wide open prairie.

I asked Google and here’s the AI response; “No, pine trees are not native to Kansas. Kansas is the only state in the Lower 48 without native pine trees. While pines have been planted in Kansas for windbreaks and ornamentals, they are not adapted to the climate and can suffer from diseases and environmental stressors. The Kansas Forest Service recommends Southwestern White Pine as a windbreak option due to its drought tolerance and resistance to some pine diseases.”

I find it very odd that the hardy and adaptable pine has managed to fit in everywhere from boreal forests to desert, but can’t handle specifically Kansas. I blame K State fans.

Maybe the pine trees got frightened by- “The Wizard of Oz” film.
:D

Too be fair any tree, bush or weed tall enough to trip over should be scared or at least mildly concerned about ending up in Oz.

Hee, hee, hee. :D

To be fair, the trees depicted could just as easily be cedars which do grow in Kansas – I know this because I live there and farmers have to clear cedar brush/saplings out of pasture and hayfields or they’ll take over.

You do seem to have a caring relationship with your family, so definitely attend. Better to spend time with those you care about than to try to please the few crybabies that will whinge whether you post on time or not.

Imagine having so little else going on that “complaining to an artist that you didn’t see their free art sooner” is what you become known to do. I’m glad you have the opportunity to see people you want to see, I hope you have a nice time there.

Side note ~ I’ve been a member of the patreon(s) for years at this point, incase someone wants to call out that I said “free art.” I can only assume most people who complain are not part of it.

I have actually done that, but only to artists that were so notoriously slow that I couldn’t even remember what was going on in the last panel when the new one comes out. Or who released tons and tons of filler pages on a regular basis (like, an intro page for an update, 5 actual pages over 2 weeks, an outro page, several pages of doodles and such, before another intro page, rinse and repeat). These artists wonder why they can’t take off, but it’s because people find them, read the archive, then quickly lose interest in the on-going story because of how rarely there’s an update. I had one with a beautiful art style I loved (not even that complex, just really great color composition), but she spent so much of her time fulfilling paid commissions that she rarely updated her actual comic, and the paid commissions were mostly just smut, but she said she had to do that to pay the bills. We told her that she’s going to lose her audience if she only caters to the people paying her to draw yuri, but she couldn’t see the longterm consequences.

This was a pointless rant I felt like getting off my chest, sorry. But in the end, Jackie is extremely good about regular, quality updates, and anyone upset that a page goes up a mere few hours late is a massive wanker and doesn’t realize how bad some webcomics are/were.

Lol sometimes rants just have a habit of coming out. But I understand that.. I followed a youtuber for his on going series and got really into it like.. 7 years ago? the episodes went from like, 1 every couple months, to 2 a year, to 1 a year if we’re lucky.. the last one went up four years ago. He still does other content, but it’s nowhere near as popular as what everyone followed him for.

But yes! on topic, i’ve loved this webcomic for years and years. I fell off of all the others i used to read, but i love these guys so much, I always recommend it to friends! especially when they want a little “palette cleanser” type thing – take a break from all that grimdark lol

Yuri? Name of the artist please? I want it in part cause I’m curious if it’s a webcomic I know lol

The benefits of a visit like that are hard to quantify. But they are real. Sure Grandpa may not remember that you were there but in the moment…it is a good thing and that is worthwhile. Through the years I’ve learned that I regret the things I blew off more than the events I attended.

“This is load bearing anxiety, you never have a panic moment if you’re always lowkey panicking.”

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling badly about some things, Jackie.

I might mess up the following comment, so please consider that, when when you are reading it. Expessing my feelings is not a big skill that I have.
Regardless:

Within the last 10-12 years: I lost my Mom to a brain illness/problem that she had. Soon after that, I lost a relative who was a dear friend + a close friend of mine. She had problems with her lungs, problems that were probably made worse by her smoking addiction.
About a year after that, my family lost her only child/her son, from a mysterious, medical problem.

Am I trying to sound: like a cool person, or a strong person, or a noble guy/a heroic guy, when I’m saying I went through those bad patches, [oh blazes, no[!] ], but I think I’m trying to say-I think that I possibly can feel or sympathize a little, with what you’re experiencing.

Or at least I’ve heard of some problems that sound like them.
I feel badly that you’re going through this difficult stuff, right now.

I’m really sorry that this situation with you + your Grandpa is happening, Jackie. That sounds like a very unhappy thing to experience.

For what it’s worth- I’m hoping that your Grandfather will be able to appreciate you’re being there at that gathering, + I hope that- possibly your friends and relatives at that gathering will find some comfort + support- from your being there with them, at this gathering.

I’m hoping that things will go well, and easily, for you.

I’m wishing that you get every type of health and happiness.

Best wishes to you, TRA.

Always go see family when you can. You never know when they will be gone, and it still hurts, no matter what is in the past. My father tried to kill my mom when I was a year and a half old. He died a few years ago. And yet I wish I could have had closure. I know where he has been interred, and I plan on visiting again. It brings me peace. But still I wish I could have seen him at least one more time. Regardless.

As someone who was there for my father’s end, I can say this much. The one person who will know they were there is yourself, and while you can’t say for certain who will benefit from your presence, perhaps you can benefit from the presence of others.

Never apologize for spending time with family. They are way harder to replace than whiny internet jackasses.

All I can say, Jackie, is, do you love your Grandpa? If yes, then it’s good you went!

I’m actually much the same as what Jess is saying about Jo here. A lot of social anxiety! Very mellow when it comes to relationship drama. Because for me, it’s all about trust. I trust my partner and my close friends, so like…I can wait to talk about things when they’re ready, no big deal.

But a history of judgement and accusations and shitty behavior from people I do not have that level of trust with leaves me in a state of feeling like I always have to brace for someone to be a jerk to me about things. Thus, anxiety!

(Jo is such a great character and I <3 her so much~)

2837 Stoicism.

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