814 Until There Was You.


There are few things as dangerous as a woman who understands exactly how hot she is, or is capable of being.

Well…  I played the Dragon Age 2 demo.  I was pretty severely disappointed.   It’s all button mashy Legend Of Zelda God Of Warish.  That bums me out.  I really don’t want to have to hit buttons over and over again.  I want to plan the attack and let my minions do it, with limited input from me,  like the original…  Sadly, I would like to see how the story goes.  I’m invested enough in the world that I’d like to watch them ruin it.  It’s at times like these that I’m really sad that cheaters aren’t good enough to make cheat devices for new games anymore.  If I could blow through the heinous gameplay like some kind of living god I think I could tolerate it more.

They also made the text EVEN SMALLER.  WHO THE FUCK CAN READ LETTERING THAT TINY!?  It was minuscule on my old TV, when my sister gave me her old larger one I could finally read the text in Dragon Age, and now they shrank it down to smaller than it was before.  I can’t type hard enough to express my rage over this.   Are they trying to make it impossible to read to cover up how shitty the writing is now?  It almost has to be something like that.  They are trying to conceal the flavor text for some reason?  What secrets are they trying to keep from me?  Do they know who killed Kennedy? Where Hoffa is buried?  It has to be important to go to such lengths to obscure it.

At any rate I’m not sure what to think about this seemingly calculated slap in the metaphoric face.  I guess they are sick of their old audience and are looking to trade it in for twitch gamers.  Such a shame.  Maybe they’re focusing on making Mass Effect 3 not suck and something had to be sacrificed.  I would be willing to accept that as long as MA3 is as good as 2.

I also played the Bayonetta demo.  I wonder if the guy who wrote the script actually typed it with his erect cock.

This is old news, but apparently it’s cool to make a video game of your wet dream in Japan.  It’s like a tire fire built on a mound of fetish fuel.   The game itself is virtually impossible for me to play.  It’s just a blurr off images I can’t make out with a lot of lights and sounds and, apparently, the golden rings from Sonic The Hedgehog.  That just adds a whole other lever of weird fetish connections to the thing.