410 Worthy Bastards.


Did I tell you guys that I found the Matt TrakkerG.I. Joe toy?  He’s the leader from the old M.A.S.K. cartoon.  Kenner used to own that series, but Hasbro bought them at some point in the long long ago.  I had an assload of M.A.S.K. toys when I was little; even the good guy’s massive, transforming, convenient store; where they dished out questionable hot dogs, nachos, and JUSTICE!  Foolishly I sold them when we moved. 

They were a good size for taking the little guys when you had to go someplace boring.  I lost the villain’s mask though, which for a kid like me, who was really obsessive even then, was truly maddening.  Without his mask he was just a fat guy with a rapist mustache.  Still a villain to be sure, but not as awe inspiring as a fat rapist who can shoot venom on you. 

There’s something that bothers me about the name M.A.S.K.  It stands for Mobile Armored Strike Kommand.  Their foes are part of V.E.N.O.M. which stands for Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem.  What kind of team can’t spell command?  The bad guys managed to use their spell check…  I mean, spelling isn’t a huge concern of mine, but still.  Of course I’ve tried to think of a suitable replacement for kommand, but can’t think of one.  Apparently the marketing team at Kenner couldn’t either.