Oh shit, Nina has to deal with some feelings she didn’t know she had.
Remmeber that guy I talked about the other day; the one that I put a bit of in to Wes? His sister in law was one of the girls I made Nina from. She and her sister were both very tall, and very blonde. She was nicer than her sister though. She didn’t however, work in books, or have any particular interest in reading. That was another girl. I actually dated the one who loved to read so much that she did it on the clock. I still think that’s a pretty baller thing to do in a book store. Alphabetize with one had while reading with the other. I quite foolishly dated/romanced coworkers from time to time. It causes nothing but trouble and you really shouldn’t do it, but I have a dick and it sometimes gets control of things. And don’t misunderstand this, it’s a bad for both parties. I am just a big a fuckbag as anyone else, so having a relationship with me at work was stupid too.
The girl who read (which would be a good title for something.) was high most of our relationship and I could never get over it. It really bothered me that she had to be high in order to cope with everything. It started to feel like the only way she could have any feelings for me was if she was stoned. She was also from a deeply religious family that had given her a few issues that were tough to get over as well. In a rare move for me I broke up with her first because I realized this dynamic was never going to change. I did it in the worst possible way though. Via a smiley face post it note. She had driven away and not let me say my piece so I stuck it on a pile of books and left it on her door.
I have to say that the meanest part of my sense of humor still giggles over the idea of a break up note on a smiley face post it note. As I’ve clearly said, I was hardly blameless in the affair. I couldn’t just let things be, or leave things unsaid. Plus, I always get attached faster than the people I’m with. I go from zero to totally devoted in 60 seconds. The fact that I was able to logic my way out of that relationship was a new thing for me. Before then keeping a cool head long enough to make the best decision, even though it wasn’t what my heart wanted, was unthinkable.
Some of my friends are still friends with her, and they’ve never told me she was dead, so I assume she’s fine now. I’m not sure who dodged the bullet in this scenario but I tend to think it was her. I doubt that I would be where I am now if we’d stayed together longer, or as long as now. She was a step on the stairway to my ultimate failure. I needed to stumble over her so I could just keep falling. She was still a few flights up from rock bottom though. At the time I was her least worst option.