1498 Straight Outta The Holy Land.


The Bible, and its various offshoots, is a mish mash of content. It varies wildly in tone from moment to moment in some cases. It contradicts itself, praises punishment, and punishes praise, to the point of seeming schizophrenic at times. Which is probably why its such a good book to look at for understanding humanity. We’re just on this planet flailing our arms around like Muppets pretty much all the time. Because we understand, innately, that were a tiny part of something we can’t understand and it makes us insane. We want things to make sense, we’re wired to see patterns in everything, but sometimes the scope of what we’re looking at is so huge we just lose our shit over it. The bible is that struggle put to paper.
A lot of the old testament is people trying to make a deal with god. We do these things and you promise not to burn/flood/or otherwise randomly destroy whatever we do or build. The book of Job goes so far as to show you dude getting fucked over mercilessly to drive home the point that all this shut is part of some greater plan, and really, when you get down to it, God is a pretty chill being.
The new testament is like this weird sequel that deviates wildly from the first movie. This time god’s a dude, but also he’s his own son, walking around telling people to be cool, because everyone who isn’t cool will get straight up boned when he goes to tell his dad self what’s up. Also there’s a ghost! Jesus’s story has all the best stuff in it, stuff we still love: Betrayal, drama, magic, whores, the undead. It hits every note in the song of entertainment. Its kind of like an anthology wherea bunch of friends sat down to do it and then some of them had fights so they didn’t get all the books in, because Luke was a Dick, and John wanted more close up magic, so they couldn’t all agree on a theme, or how the backstory went. Inspired from the divine perhaps, but undoubtedly written by humans.
I assume the other spinoffs are similarly weird. What I know of them suggests as much. Use and misuse, control and chaos, forever at odds on the page.

In case you don’t have notifications set up for patreon the new story update is there. I’m also periodically adding more special character portraits. So far it’s Jo, Ed, Nina, and Alex pretty soon. I had trouble finding images of people to give as references for some of them. I still haven’t found any Mikes I really like. Anyway, the link is Nina on the sidebar as always. I’m trying to set up other tenth anniversary surprises too, but I hate to get your hopes up at the moment. Just know that I’m trying to do some stuff I hope you’ll enjoy, especially if you’ve been with me the whole ten years.